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How to Become a Rumorous C# Developer

, 14 Jan 2010 CPOL
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Steps to become famous C# developer.

Introduction

This ultimate how-to guide will teach you how to become the most popular person among your colleagues. You will be the hero of their conversations during cigarette breaks or in the office kitchen. It is even possible that this guide will help you work less — you will often be offered generous help by your co-workers wanting to do your tasks instead of you. This will be your fame!

Steps for Success

Here are the tricky steps for your recognition boost.

  1. Naming variables could show your full creativity potential. Don't burden yourself with any notations, guidelines, etc. — they all limit your inspiration. Also, you will get credit if you use an unknown naming scheme — your co-workers will respect you.

    Example:

    bool rAgeaggainStmaShine = false;
    int dd44 = 12;
    bool dude = true;
  2. Be genius and intriguing in method and parameters naming.

    Example:

    public int ViriableInflationModusOperandi(int variable, int inflator)
    {
    	return variable * inflator;
    }
  3. Comment your code. This is a professional attitude to work. Comments help to understand your code right, not "left".

    Example:

    // This variable is named after my mom. Wyburga-Thomasia Flandrina. Remember it!
    long wtf = 1;
  4. Don't write too many comments in your code. Excessive comments make your colleagues feel nervous — do you think they can't understand? They will respect you if you give them a chance to think.

    Example:

    /// <summary>
    /// Perform image check.
    /// </summary>
    public static void ImageRoutine(Image image)
    {
        if ((image != null) && (imageInfoList != null))
        {
            bool isReaderLockHeld = rwImgListLock.IsReaderLockHeld;
            LockCookie lockCookie = new LockCookie();
            threadWriterLockWaitCount++;
            try
            {
                if (isReaderLockHeld)
                {
                    lockCookie = rwImgListLock.UpgradeToWriterLock(-1);
                }
                else
                {
                    rwImgListLock.AcquireWriterLock(-1);
                }
            }
            finally
            {
                threadWriterLockWaitCount--;
            }
            try
            {
                for (int i = 0; i < imageInfoList.Count; i++)
                {
                    ImageInfo item = imageInfoList[i];
                    if (image == item.Image)
                    {
                        return;
                    }
                }
            }
            finally
            {
                if (isReaderLockHeld)
                {
                    rwImgListLock.DowngradeFromWriterLock(ref lockCookie);
                }
                else
                {
                    rwImgListLock.ReleaseWriterLock();
                }
            }
        }
        //Everything is done. Return.
    }
  5. Use encapsulation. This is one of the crucial OOP principles.

    Compare these two examples:

    Example #1:

    public int AddTwo(int arg)
    {
    	return arg + 2;
    }
    
    public int AddOne(int arg)
    {
    	return arg + 1;
    }
    
    public void Main()
    {
    	int calc = AddOne(AddTwo(5));
    }

    Example #2:

    public void Main()
    {
    	int calc = 5 + 2 + 1;
    }

    Sure, example #1 looks more solid. It has more lines of code, everything is encapsulated, and the code looks impressive.

  6. Write less code. This leads to fewer errors, less time on support, and more time for fun.
    Consider the following architecture juice:

    common.js

    function deleteUser(userId)
    {
        $.get("sqlengine.ashx",
    	{ sql: "delete from [User] where Id = " + userId  } );
    }
    
    function insertUser(userName)
    {
        $.get("sqlengine.ashx",
    	{ sql: "insert into [User] values ('" + userName + "')" } );
    }

    sqlengine.ashx

    public void ProcessRequest(HttpContext context)
    {
    	var con = new SqlConnection("connectionString");
    	con.Open();
    	var cmd = new SqlCommand(context.Request.QueryString["sql"]);
    	cmd.Connection = con;
    	cmd.ExecuteNonQuery();
    	con.Close();
    }

    You get: AJAXified pages, rapid development, and multi-tier architecture.

  7. Write a genius code. Your colleagues will thank you for the insights.

    Write

    int year = 0x000007D9;

    instead of

    int year = 2009;

    Write

    var sb = new StringBuilder();
    sb.Append(“Error:”);
    sb.Append(2001);
    sb.Append(“.”);
    return sb.ToString();

    instead of

    return string.Format(“Error: {0}.”, 2001);

    Use

    /// <summary>
    /// Does mysterious transformation of TRUE to FALSE and vice versa.
    /// </summary>
    public static bool TheGreatLifeTransformation(bool valueToTransform)
    {
        if (valueToTransform == true)
        {
            return false;
        }
        if (valueToTransform == false)
        {
            return true;
        }
    
        throw new ArgumentOutOfRangeException();
    }

    instead of

    !value

Bonus Track

If you follow these simple steps, your name will soon be known by all of your co-workers. You will be a very popular person — your colleagues will come to you for advice, a chat and a handshake. Some of them may ask you about your professional secret. If this happens, you can give them the following answer (with the voice of a mentor):

"Writing code is a transcendental process of transformation of infinite chaos into finite reality with coherence, of course".

Disclaimer

Everything in this article should not be treated seriously. Any similarities with real code or real people are coincidental.

PS: What would you add to my how-to list? Write it in comments and I will be happy to expand my list.  

Updates

Thanks for great contribution to all of you! A lot of brilliant evidences of rumorous developers could be found in the comments.

Special thanks to:

License

This article, along with any associated source code and files, is licensed under The Code Project Open License (CPOL)

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About the Author

dmitryEB
Founder EliteBrains
United States United States
Dmitry is a founder of EliteBrains which mission is to promote success through creativity and progressive thinking.

Comments and Discussions

 
GeneralMy vote of 5 Pin
megaadam, 15-Mar-12 21:00
membermegaadam15-Mar-12 21:00 
GeneralRe: My vote of 5 Pin
Opata Chibueze, 9-Aug-12 11:51
memberOpata Chibueze9-Aug-12 11:51 
SuggestionHow to Write Unmaintainable Code Pin
torial, 23-Feb-12 12:38
membertorial23-Feb-12 12:38 
GeneralMy vote of 5 Pin
FernandaUY, 31-Dec-11 12:34
memberFernandaUY31-Dec-11 12:34 
QuestionVery funny Pin
zenwalker1985, 21-Nov-11 18:53
memberzenwalker198521-Nov-11 18:53 
QuestionExtra Tip Pin
DaveKerr, 24-Aug-11 1:10
memberDaveKerr24-Aug-11 1:10 
GeneralMy vote of 5 Pin
Nickos_me, 10-May-11 4:27
memberNickos_me10-May-11 4:27 
GeneralGlorious! Pin
FernandaUY, 18-Jan-11 4:45
memberFernandaUY18-Jan-11 4:45 
GeneralGet over yourselves Pin
jim lahey, 22-Oct-10 6:09
memberjim lahey22-Oct-10 6:09 
GeneralMy vote of 1 Pin
digital man, 6-Jul-10 2:53
memberdigital man6-Jul-10 2:53 
AnswerRe: My vote of 1 Pin
Eric Xue (brokensnow), 6-Sep-10 14:19
memberEric Xue (brokensnow)6-Sep-10 14:19 
GeneralNEVER HEARD OF YOU. Pin
je_gonzalez, 28-Apr-10 6:56
memberje_gonzalez28-Apr-10 6:56 
GeneralRe: NEVER HEARD OF YOU. Pin
Aleksander Sztwiertnia, 8-Jan-13 5:00
memberAleksander Sztwiertnia8-Jan-13 5:00 
GeneralMy vote of 1 Pin
samsunvista, 19-Feb-10 11:19
membersamsunvista19-Feb-10 11:19 
Generalliked it..;) Pin
Omar Gamil, 16-Feb-10 0:01
memberOmar Gamil16-Feb-10 0:01 
Generalnaming style ! Pin
yassir hannoun, 12-Feb-10 13:08
memberyassir hannoun12-Feb-10 13:08 
GeneralMy vote of 1 Pin
William Winner, 9-Feb-10 12:23
memberWilliam Winner9-Feb-10 12:23 
GeneralInvent your own coding language! Pin
ittay ophir, 9-Feb-10 2:38
memberittay ophir9-Feb-10 2:38 
GeneralRe: Invent your own coding language! Pin
Andy Missico, 8-Nov-10 18:14
memberAndy Missico8-Nov-10 18:14 
GeneralGOOD! Pin
Atanov, 25-Jan-10 19:09
memberAtanov25-Jan-10 19:09 
GeneralMy vote of 1 Pin
Vasile Tomoiaga, 19-Jan-10 4:30
memberVasile Tomoiaga19-Jan-10 4:30 
GeneralRe: My vote of 1 Pin
SlingBlade, 23-Jan-10 1:37
memberSlingBlade23-Jan-10 1:37 
GeneralMy vote of 1 Pin
Justino_, 19-Jan-10 0:25
memberJustino_19-Jan-10 0:25 
GeneralRe: My vote of 1 Pin
ksalvage, 1-Feb-10 4:02
memberksalvage1-Feb-10 4:02 
GeneralRe: My vote of 1 Pin
warny, 1-Feb-10 5:50
memberwarny1-Feb-10 5:50 
GeneralRe: My vote of 1 Pin
Dave Kreskowiak, 10-May-11 4:27
mvpDave Kreskowiak10-May-11 4:27 
General[My vote of 1] Wastage of time.... Vote of 1 Pin
MAP Tiger, 18-Jan-10 21:36
memberMAP Tiger18-Jan-10 21:36 
GeneralMy vote of 1 Pin
nodar, 18-Jan-10 19:21
membernodar18-Jan-10 19:21 
GeneralNice :) Pin
Jose M. Menendez Poó, 15-Jan-10 8:18
mvpJose M. Menendez Poó15-Jan-10 8:18 
GeneralRe: Nice :) Pin
icymint3, 23-Jan-10 19:16
membericymint323-Jan-10 19:16 
GeneralYou've missed the most important point. Pin
Pete O'Hanlon, 12-Jan-10 12:09
mvpPete O'Hanlon12-Jan-10 12:09 
GeneralLove it Pin
Predrag Tomasevic, 12-Jan-10 9:08
memberPredrag Tomasevic12-Jan-10 9:08 
GeneralSome more samples [modified] Pin
warny, 12-Jan-10 4:27
memberwarny12-Jan-10 4:27 
QuestionWhat about static variables in a static class Pin
warny, 12-Jan-10 2:51
memberwarny12-Jan-10 2:51 
Generaln1 Pin
MaasOne, 12-Jan-10 2:04
memberMaasOne12-Jan-10 2:04 
GeneralFew tips more... Pin
jkruza, 11-Jan-10 23:02
memberjkruza11-Jan-10 23:02 
GeneralRe: Few tips more... Pin
dmitryEB, 12-Jan-10 1:45
memberdmitryEB12-Jan-10 1:45 
GeneralRe: Few tips more... Pin
Riaan Lehmkuhl, 16-Feb-10 21:59
memberRiaan Lehmkuhl16-Feb-10 21:59 
Generalhaha great article! Pin
Druuler, 11-Jan-10 21:25
memberDruuler11-Jan-10 21:25 
GeneralHa Ha Pin
jsh_ec, 11-Jan-10 18:42
memberjsh_ec11-Jan-10 18:42 
GeneralTake it somewhere else Pin
PIEBALDconsult, 11-Jan-10 15:51
memberPIEBALDconsult11-Jan-10 15:51 
GeneralRe: Take it somewhere else Pin
dmitryEB, 11-Jan-10 16:58
memberdmitryEB11-Jan-10 16:58 
GeneralRe: Take it somewhere else Pin
pwasser, 11-Jan-10 17:28
memberpwasser11-Jan-10 17:28 
GeneralRe: Take it somewhere else Pin
Member 3684778, 19-Jan-10 7:27
memberMember 368477819-Jan-10 7:27 
JokeUse code region Pin
Alessandro Bernardi, 11-Jan-10 14:45
memberAlessandro Bernardi11-Jan-10 14:45 
GeneralMy vote of 1 Pin
grey_hem2003, 11-Jan-10 14:37
membergrey_hem200311-Jan-10 14:37 
GeneralI like it Pin
spoodygoon, 11-Jan-10 14:31
memberspoodygoon11-Jan-10 14:31 
GeneralEnjoyed it Pin
Rozis, 11-Jan-10 14:23
memberRozis11-Jan-10 14:23 
GeneralRe: Enjoyed it Pin
dmitryEB, 11-Jan-10 14:47
memberdmitryEB11-Jan-10 14:47 
GeneralThis is brilliant!! [modified] Pin
Mos Dan - Lucian, 11-Jan-10 14:12
memberMos Dan - Lucian11-Jan-10 14:12 

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