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Laying down some qualifications for being on U.S. Federal Payroll :
----------------------------------------------------
[ males ]
* Must have more than 1 year at minimum wage job
* Must ABSOLUTELY be 6'0 (182 cm) or taller
* 4 yr college degree [ Scholarships helps ]
* Must be athletic ; exceptional at 2 or more team sports
* Must have religion ( Christian / Islam )
* Must have more than 1 year xp overseas(2 countries)
[ foreign language ]
* Must be an exceptional musician
* Volunteer work (mission)
* Exceptional at 2 or more programming languages
* Must have 1 or more years xp with business venture
[ entrepreneur ]
* A few street fights ( woudn't hurt )
* Must have xp w/ beer pong
* Must have have girlfriend/wife for more than 2 yrs
****** that should fix everything *******
sorry, if you are wondering what the height requirement is it is to ensure that our tax dollars don't go to Deuce Bigilo detective type individuals ....
---------------------------------------------------
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How is any of this weird or wonderful? 
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it was moved here .. 
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What happened? Didn't get the job? 
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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no .. nothing like that ..
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catch(Exception e)
{
throw new Exception("Error while processing file");
}
I could just cry.
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Well, it does confirm that it was during the processing of the file rather than before or after it.
Yes, a pedant might bemoan the suppression of detail about what the error was but the writer has at least given a clue as to when it occurred.
98.4% of statistics are made up on the spot.
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Well that would be fun in a try block greater than 10-15 lines of code.
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In that light the following would be better:
throw new Exception(message, oldException);
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I'll trade you. Actual production code.
if (!string.IsNullOrEmpty(results))
{
}
"...JavaScript could teach Dyson how to suck." -- Nagy Vilmos
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This is a special conversion method, which converts ALL exceptions into "Error processing file". 
Very valuable. 
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This is a design pattern : Encapsulation by Deception ! 
Zen and the art of software maintenance : rm -rf *
Maths is like love : a simple idea but it can get complicated.
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Highlights of a genuine email exchange between me (now working "in the business") and "IT"
Me: "I'm trying to write some VBA to send emails via SMTP ... what is the server name and port number to use at this site?"
<insert long, long delay here>
IT: "Can I remote onto your PC to fix your Outlook problems"
<repeat this for as many times as there are "Advisers" on the Service Desk>
Eventually...
IT: "You shouldn't be using SMTP, you should use our utility that uses IMAP"
<insert facepalm and long, long delay here>
To cut a very, very long (months long) story short, I finally manage to get in (email) contact with the person that is going to solve my problem... allegedly ...
IT: "There is a table that you interact with and it will send the emails for you"
(Dontcha just love the techie speak?)
Me: "Ok. How do I "interact" with "the table" using VBA? What is the table called? Can you provide the connection string? What data is required? Are there any instructions?"
<...and you knew there was going to be a long delay in here didn't you >
The final answer:
IT: "You have to interact with the table."
After 40 years, it comes down to this. I have no words to describe the professionalism of this latest generation of "experts" 
P.S. I do, I just can't use them in polite company
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I can udnerstand you... very, very well (although I would prefer not to)
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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I can sympathize. I've been "business" side for about seven years now, after being in IT for about 22 years, programming, DBA, tech lead, etc. Now whenever I contact the "help" desk with an issue or submit an IT request, I have to sit through explanations about things like how memory is important and used by all the applications. 
Scott
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I use SMTP2GO if I need to get up and running.
It's free if that particular option works for you (and it's good enough for development).
You can then say that is "the solution" until IT wakes up.
"(I) am amazed to see myself here rather than there ... now rather than then".
― Blaise Pascal
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Thanks, I'll have a proper look at that tomorrow, although I suspect access will be blocked ... I can't even upgrade the plugin manager on Notepad++  (and I had to fight long and hard to get that!)
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I feel your pain. I used to be with a company that wouldn't allow unapproved s/w e.g. NotePad++, Visual Studio, browsers other than IE4, etc. I wrote everything (VBA, Java, HTML, JS, etc etc) in Notepad. If something needed compiling, I'd email it to my home, compile it and email it back. They eventually banned sending via all common email providers (so I have an account with an obscure one). I was part of the IT team but in a different continent to the decision makers.
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I totally get this.
As a dev I've had this conversation 100s of times over the years.
You ask plain simple, "What is the smtp server and port number?"
They say, " Maybe you just need the path to the OST file. You can send email from your Outlook client. " ad infinitum...ad naseum... 
Here's where it turns worse...they are alerted to some security aspect of what you ask.
"Why do you need that? I think that is dangerous for you to know. Please submit a form in triplicate on a web site I don't have the URL for and you do not have access to."
modified 8-Mar-18 16:11pm.
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CHill60 wrote: . I do, I just can't use them in polite company
So tell us in the soapbox. No polite people there. 
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This week it's...
[API X is freely available on X's website and I've been using it for years, but now I have a new laptop.]
Me: I need to install API X.
IT: You need to request software installs via our portal. (Sends link, which I already had, I've been through this before.)
Me: (Search for API X, they don't have it.) (Request local admin rights so I can install, boss approves.)
IT: We won't grant your local admin right request because it says you're going install something. You need to request software installs via our portal. (Sends link, which I already had, I've been through this before.)
I suppose I should just request it and see if they might be evaluating it -- probably the wrong version.
Last week it was...
Me: I need to install software Y.
IT: You need to request software installs via our portal. (Sends link, which I already had, I've been through this before.)
Me: (Search for software Y, they don't have it. Request it anyway. Why not?)
IT: Software Y isn't approved, but a newer version of it is being evaluated, it could take months.
Me: (Checks portal a few days later, software Y appears to have been approved.) I see software Y has been approved, I'd like to request it.
IT: Hey, look at that, let's give it a shot.
(Nothing further so far.)
Not to mention a few months ago...
[My new laptop came with SSMS 2014 installed. Nice, but I need a local database instance.]
Me: (I request a full install of SQL Server 2014 via the famous portal.)
IT: Will Developer Edition instead?
Me: Fine, let's try it.
IT: (Installs developer edition.)
Me: I see that developer edition has been installed and that I now have a local installed (named "MySQL"? WTE?) -- BUT I CAN'T ACCESS IT!
IT: We installed the software as you requested.
Me: (Request local admin rights, boss approves, IT approves, I run the full SQL Server 2014 installer to create a new instance that I can access and shut down the one IT created.)
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CHill60 wrote: I have no words to describe the professionalism of this latest generation of "experts"
Have you tried turning them off and back on again?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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OriginalGriff wrote: Have you tried turning them off and back on again?
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