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Two sisters, one blond and one brunette, inherit their family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble....
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
Upon leaving for purchase of a Bull, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'
The brunette arrives at another ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it.
The ranch owner tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch and I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'
The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'
The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll read it very slowly... 'com-for-da-bul.'
Every new day is another chance to change your life.
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A professor at a university is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: “How many people here believe in ghosts?” About 40 students raise their hands.
“Well that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you’ve ever seen a ghost?” About 20 students raise their hands.
“I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?” 15 students raise their hands.
“That’s a great response.” “Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?” 3 students raise their hands.
“That’s fantastic.” “But let me ask you one question further… Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?” One student in a flannel shirt and baseball cap way in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, and says,
“Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.” The student complies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, “Well, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost.” The student replies, “Ghost?!? Sh**it. From baaack there it sounded like you said ‘goats!’”. 
It's an OO world.
public class Naerling : Lazy<Person>{
public void DoWork(){ throw new NotImplementedException(); }
}
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That is so bad, have a 5!
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The foundation of Israel is due, in large part, to a bacillus - Clostridium aecetobutylicum Weizman (known as B-Y) – small beginnings indeed. This bacillus, when used to ferment a corn mash in water, produces one part ethyl alcohol, three parts acetone, and six parts butanol (butyl alcohol), each of which can be seperated out by distillation. Acetone was a key component in the production of cordite as the propellant for artillery shells.
Chaim Weizmann was a Russian born biochemist who got his doctorate at the University of Fribourg in Switzerland. He later became the first president of Israel, after Einstein declined the post. He became modestly wealthy after selling a biochemical patent to Bayer. He had also done huge research into the production of butanol to be used in the production of synthetic rubber, and it is this research that led to the discovery, and subsequent patenting, of the above process.
All Europe’s acetone factories at the outbreak of the First World War were in Germany, so when Weizmann moved to take up a post in Manchester he was approached by Churchill, then the First Lord of the Admiralty, with the intention of industrializing the process, as Britain had no way at that time to manufacture cordite. After Churchill was replaced, Lloyd George carried out the plan, and offered Weizmann whatever he wanted to produce 30,000 tons of acetone a year, and told him to name his own price. (Note for Nagy – the development was done in the Nicholson GIN factory in Bow!) Following discussion with his friend Baron Edmond de Rothschild, Weizmann asked for a homeland for the Jews in the area of the British Mandate of Palestine. This led to the Balfour Declaration in 1917, notable for the fact that it provide no timeline, and thus nothing was actually done. It should be noted that Baron Rothschild was already supporting substantial Jewish communities in the area known as Palestine.
Move onto 1935. On April 9th of that year, another Jewish scientist, Leo Szilard, patented the concept and method of creating a chain reaction in radioactive materials to cause a huge release of energy.
Now roll onto the formation of the Manhattan project. A considerable majority of the scientists recruited were Jewish, including all the British Jewish scientists who were shipped over to the US, together with their research to date. Think, for instance, of Feinmann, best known as Richard Feynman, or perhaps the name Oppenheimer may ring a few bells. The primary exception in the upper echelons of scientists was Enrico Fermi. However, he fled Italy because of the persecution of his wife, who was Jewish.
Most of these scientists had serious misgivings about developing an atom bomb, and voiced these objections. The solution was a deal with Szilard. They bought his patent from him for one dollar, together with an unpublished promise to create the Jewish homeland committed to in the Balfour Declaration. This placated the Jewish scientists. As a point of interest, there is actually no record of Szilard actually receiving his dollar.
After the dissolution of the League of Nations, and the creation of the United Nations, the rest, as they say, is history. While the formation of Israel may cause cries of moral outrage as an act of empire, it must also be born in mind that Jordan, Syria and Lebanon were formed in a like manner, and nobody seems to be complaining about that. Also, the concept of empire has been with mankind for most of mankind’s ‘civilised’ history. The earliest reference I am aware of is the Akkadian Empire in 2250 BC. It was only some time after the Second World War that empire became a bad word, and even then the USSR didn’t get the message for another 40 years.
Footnote: This information has been collated from many different sources, including Middle East history, atomic bomb history and religious history, but always from recognized published authors in their own domain.
Toe note: No reference was made to Wikipedia!
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Very nicely put together: thanks.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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You're welcome. I originally started to research the matter from the A-bomb side, because I got bored by people saying "Why shouldn't Iran build a bomb - the Israelis have them?".
I find this appallingly ignorant, for the following reasons:
Firstly, as I have shown above, the first atom and nuclear bombs (I like to make the distinction between fission and fusion) were for the very main part, a product of Jewish scientists - of course they can damn well build them if they want to - they built them in the first place, and when all their neighbours seem determined to drive them into the sea it would appear to be a sensible option.
Secondly, today such weapons are pretty much unusable, as the world-wide repercussions would cripple the using nation for generations, and the delivery system would point the finger directly at where they came from - except for Iran. Iran has several, almost deniable, delivery systems - Hamas, Hezbollah, and the lunatic fringe of Al Qaeda. "Oh, we are terribly sorry about New York. It seems somebody stole one of our nukes."
Incidently, last night I watched, on television, Imadinnerjacket making his speech to the faithful. For a bit, I thought I was watching the Führer at a Nuremberg Rally. I was wrong - it was in Tehran.
Whoops - did I just invoke Godwin's law?
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Chris C-B wrote: when all their neighbours seem determined to drive them into the sea it would appear to be a sensible option.
In which case it is sensible for Iran to build a bomb, as (from their point of view) the US appears intent on destroying them.
Chris C-B wrote: the delivery system would point the finger directly at where they came from - except for Iran
Oh, those cunning Iranians!
Chris C-B wrote: Iran has several, almost deniable, delivery systems - Hamas, Hezbollah, and the lunatic fringe of al qaeda.
The bulk of al-Qaeda are moderates? Only the fringe are lunatic, while all of Hamas and Hezbollah are lunatic? That's a bit weird.
Chris C-B wrote: "Oh, we are terribly sorry about New York. It seems somebody stole one of our nukes."
Well, the US has an almost deniable delivery system - the lunatic fringe of al-Qaeda. Surely they would be pleased to nuke a Shia country that is opposed to the Sunni Saudis?
"Oh, we are terribly sorry about Tehran. It seems somebody stole one of Pakistan's (or country of choice) nukes."
Use carrots and sticks to force the little fish into the big tent - Anon
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ict558 wrote: In which case it is sensible for Iran to build a bomb, as (from their point of
view) the US appears intent on destroying them.
The Iranians may say so, for internal consumption, but the reality is that the US (and most of the international community) only want(s) to either open up the Iranian nuclear program to proper inspection, or cease it all together. Bearing in mind that the Iranians lied consistently to the IAEA for 17 years, this is not unwarranted.
ict558 wrote: The bulk of al-Qaeda are moderates? Only the fringe are lunatic, while
all of Hamas and Hezbollah are lunatic? That's a bit weird.
A matter of funding. Both Hezbollah and Hamas receive significant funding from Iran. Although hard figures are difficult to come by, the consensus appears to be up to $30M for Hamas and $200M for Hezbollah, which makes them somewhat beholden to do Iran's bidding. Al Qaeda has no such funding, and the mainstream would probably be rather more rational.
ict558 wrote: "Oh, we are terribly sorry about Tehran. It seems somebody stole one of
Pakistan's (or country of choice) nukes."
Possibly, but since a nuclear device leaves a radio active signature, it is possible to establish whose it was. This means it really would have to be stolen, and I suspect this might be rather hard - at least until Apple starts selling the pocketable iBomb, that is!
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Chris C-B wrote: Jordan, Syria and Lebanon were formed [as an act of empire]
But for their indigenous populations. Had YHWH promised Jordan, Syria, or Lebanon to the Hebrews, no doubt they would have been settled by European and American Zionists, and somebody would be complaining about it.
Nice compilation, though.
Use carrots and sticks to force the little fish into the big tent - Anon
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Good read, but you play down the role Rothchild had to do with the formation of Israel.
I had read about the war time production of explosives etc and how that came into play, didnt know it was acetone... My country for some Acetone!
While the formation of Israel may cause cries of moral outrage as an act of
empire, it must also be born in mind that Jordan, Syria and Lebanon were formed
in a like manner, and nobody seems to be complaining about that
absolutely agree! although creating a country for a particular religion is stupid and destined for failure i fear. We have to stop ourselves from being divided by power hungry overlords so easily. When the holy lands are shared it'll be a great day!
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Chris C-B wrote: it must also be born in mind that Jordan, Syria and Lebanon were formed in a
like manner, and nobody seems to be complaining about that.
Nobody is complaining because these countries were made of indigenous people belonging to various religions who have been living there for time unknown and not made of people belonging to a specigic race imported enmasse from other countries.
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A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said, "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow."
"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants,and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him.
She then asked him, "How does that feel?"
To which he replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
It's an OO world.
public class Naerling : Lazy<Person>{
public void DoWork(){ throw new NotImplementedException(); }
}
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Pat Condell[^]. If you think what I had to say below was contentious, listen to Pat: he's saying what needs to be said - it's a pity not enough people are listening.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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Have to vote you down on non sequitur thread hijacking. 
==============================
Nothing to say.
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Interesting bit it is a viewpoint rather than facts: if I were to go spend time in Gaza (wonder how long I'd stay alive?) I'd get a very different perspective than if I were in, say, Tel Aviv. Teh diference here is that in Gaza Hamas let you see what they want you to see whereas in Tel Aviv you can see whatever you want, form any opinion you care to. ThePalestinians could have had pretty much everything they asked for but turned it down each time because it's not what they really want.Pity you haven't the courage to admit that rather than trying to muddy the waters.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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mark merrens wrote: Teh diference here is that in Gaza Hamas let you see what they want you to see whereas in Tel Aviv you can see whatever you want, form any opinion you care to.
It seems you watch so much of Fox News and CNN.
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Again, you divert rather than answer. Speaks volumes.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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You haven't yet answered any of my points in my original reply yet Mark. The Arab Muslims, the Arab Christians and the Arab Jews had been living in the Palestinian land for more than a millenium (even though there was no country called 'Palestine' according to you). The European Jews were mass imported by Theodor Herzl hardly a hundred years ago. Will you deny that Mark?
"Research" is the golden word for you.
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And you haven't answered asingle one of my points.
However, It was never called Paletsine and all of the countries in that area are made up: none of them really existed as political entities over a hundred years ago.
And all of those Arabs that stayed within Israels borders now enjoy unparalleled freedoms in Israel that you can't find in one single other Arab country. There is complete freedom of religious expression, for instance. Would I be free, do you suppose, to be a practicing Jew in Gaza?
And each and every time the muslims mount an attack on Israel withe sole intention of wiping them out they get repulsed and then start bleating about how they lost all that land and can we have it back? Well, no, you can't. You want peace then make peace.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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mark merrens wrote: And you haven't answered asingle one of my points.
You haven't asked any questions yet that deserve an answer. You've so far just expressed your opinions about how great a country Israel is just because it allows religious freedom irrespective of the fact that the entire land is stolen from the Arab natives of the land.
mark merrens wrote: However, It was never called Paletsine and all of the countries in that area are made up: none of them really existed as political entities over a hundred years ago.
Ever heard of Ottoman Empire? Please get a dose of history before coming back and posting something so naive again.
mark merrens wrote: And all of those Arabs that stayed within Israels borders now enjoy unparalleled freedoms in Israel that you can't find in one single other Arab country.
Only in the American Press, not in reality. According to its own Constitution, Israel is a Jewish State where Jews are given preferential treatment over gentiles.
mark merrens wrote: There is complete freedom of religious expression, for instance. Would I be free, do you suppose, to be a practicing Jew in Gaza?
Again, it only exposes you ignorance of history. Arab Jews have been living in Palestine for time unknown.
You can never deny the fact that the European Jews never lived in Palestine. Just because someone's holy scripture mentions it as promised land, it doesn't belong to them Mark. It is as absurd as Muslims claiming New York to be their homeland just because their holy scripture says so.
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Shameel wrote: You haven't asked any questions yet that deserve an answer.
Think that might signal the end of the conversation: you dissemble constantly; no point in discussing if all you do is ignore my points to press home your own without answering a single question.
Shameel wrote: Ever heard of Ottoman Empire?
Turkish, not Arab and those countries did come into existence until after that time.
Shameel wrote: Israel is a Jewish State where Jews are given preferential treatment over
gentiles.
Outright lie: not sure where you get this but utterly untrue. Anyone living in Israel is afforded the exact same freedoms and rights as anyone else, regardless of religion. Typical palestinian propoganda: tell a lie often enough and it become the accpeted truth.
Shameel wrote: Again, it only exposes you ignorance of history.
And yet you continue to dissemble. Beginning to think that you won't answer, not that you can't.
Shameel wrote: You can never deny the fact that the European Jews never lived in Palestine
Of course not but that is an entrely bogus question. However, as you can't deny that pre 1964 there was no such people as the Palestinians. Maybe you can get the Egyptians or the Jordanians to give you a bit more land to breathe in. Maybe the Sinia... Oh wait, no they already kicked you out of both.
Shameel wrote: It is as absurd as Muslims claiming New York to be their homeland just because
their holy scripture says so.
Thankkfully it doesn't though I suspect you'd prefer it did. In any case, it isn't about which ridiculous book mentions what about whom and where. The scriptures mention all sortsof nonsense as does the bible and the quran. None of it is real: they are crutches used to support outdated modes of keeping people in check. We'd all be far better off without any of them.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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mark merrens wrote: all you do is ignore my points to press home your own without answering a single question.
You've still not realized that you've been doing the same from the beginning.
mark merrens wrote: Outright lie: not sure where you get this but utterly untrue. Anyone living in Israel is afforded the exact same freedoms and rights as anyone else, regardless of religion. Typical palestinian propoganda: tell a lie often enough and it become the accpeted truth.
Instead of drawing your conclusions from media reports, you must either visit Palestine yourself or talk to someone who did.
mark merrens wrote: Of course not but that is an entrely bogus question. However, as you can't deny that pre 1964 there was no such people as the Palestinians. Maybe you can get the Egyptians or the Jordanians to give you a bit more land to breathe in. Maybe the Sinia... Oh wait, no they already kicked you out of both.
At last, you agree that the European Jews never lived there. But the Indigenous Arabs, Christians and Jews have been living there from time unknown, eventhough according to you the land might not have been called Palestine and the people been called Palestinians. But they at least EXISTED there. Israel DID NOT exist, it is an imaginary and invented land, the people are invented. This remains the fact, no matter what, no matter how much propaganda is done in the media to make people believe that the Israelis are heroes and the Palestinians as terrorists.
mark merrens wrote: Thankkfully it doesn't though I suspect you'd prefer it did.
I would never because I do not support invasion or occupation. One reason could be that I come from a country that has never invaded or occupied another country ever in history.
mark merrens wrote: The scriptures mention all sortsof nonsense as does the bible and the quran. None of it is real:
Again, a naive statement just because someone said it, not based on research and fact-finding.
And Mark, if you are so fond of Israel, you should invite them to establish their country in your homeland, instead of taking rejoice in it being established in someone else's homeland.
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mark merrens wrote: It was never called Paletsine and all of the countries in that area are made up: none of them really existed as political entities over a hundred years ago.
But the land really existed, and the people that lived on it really existed, and the laws governing the ownership of land really existed.
And legal basis of this was recognised by the British when they ran Palestine, which, under the 1922 (only 90 years ago, alas) Mandate, really existed. Israel recognised the Ottoman property rights of 19th century Zionists, as well as indigenous Jews. Thus they recognised the political entities that existed over 100 years ago.
mark merrens wrote: enjoy unparalleled freedoms in Israel that you can't find in one single other Arab country.
Freudian slip? 
mark merrens wrote: You want peace then make peace.
They don't want peace, they want their land back. Israel wants peace, so that it can keep the land it has appropriated.
Use carrots and sticks to force the little fish into the big tent - Anon
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It isnt really contentious. The Church has served its purpose. It is done with, it did its job (that of gluing society into a cohexive mass in order that collectively it can acchieve more, a role taken over by inherent social responsibility today), and I dont think many people feel differently to him. It is only a few weirdos who think a christmass tree is offensive to non christians.
In fact a christmass tree ought to be offensive to christians since it comes from the old pagan norse religion. Idiots!
I thik the land owned by the Church should be given back to the people as common land (in fact all land taken in the enclosures act).
==============================
Nothing to say.
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