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How to Become a Rumorous C# Developer

, 14 Jan 2010 CPOL
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Steps to become famous C# developer.


This ultimate how-to guide will teach you how to become the most popular person among your colleagues. You will be the hero of their conversations during cigarette breaks or in the office kitchen. It is even possible that this guide will help you work less — you will often be offered generous help by your co-workers wanting to do your tasks instead of you. This will be your fame!

Steps for Success

Here are the tricky steps for your recognition boost.

  1. Naming variables could show your full creativity potential. Don't burden yourself with any notations, guidelines, etc. — they all limit your inspiration. Also, you will get credit if you use an unknown naming scheme — your co-workers will respect you.


    bool rAgeaggainStmaShine = false;
    int dd44 = 12;
    bool dude = true;
  2. Be genius and intriguing in method and parameters naming.


    public int ViriableInflationModusOperandi(int variable, int inflator)
    	return variable * inflator;
  3. Comment your code. This is a professional attitude to work. Comments help to understand your code right, not "left".


    // This variable is named after my mom. Wyburga-Thomasia Flandrina. Remember it!
    long wtf = 1;
  4. Don't write too many comments in your code. Excessive comments make your colleagues feel nervous — do you think they can't understand? They will respect you if you give them a chance to think.


    /// <summary>
    /// Perform image check.
    /// </summary>
    public static void ImageRoutine(Image image)
        if ((image != null) && (imageInfoList != null))
            bool isReaderLockHeld = rwImgListLock.IsReaderLockHeld;
            LockCookie lockCookie = new LockCookie();
                if (isReaderLockHeld)
                    lockCookie = rwImgListLock.UpgradeToWriterLock(-1);
                for (int i = 0; i < imageInfoList.Count; i++)
                    ImageInfo item = imageInfoList[i];
                    if (image == item.Image)
                if (isReaderLockHeld)
                    rwImgListLock.DowngradeFromWriterLock(ref lockCookie);
        //Everything is done. Return.
  5. Use encapsulation. This is one of the crucial OOP principles.

    Compare these two examples:

    Example #1:

    public int AddTwo(int arg)
    	return arg + 2;
    public int AddOne(int arg)
    	return arg + 1;
    public void Main()
    	int calc = AddOne(AddTwo(5));

    Example #2:

    public void Main()
    	int calc = 5 + 2 + 1;

    Sure, example #1 looks more solid. It has more lines of code, everything is encapsulated, and the code looks impressive.

  6. Write less code. This leads to fewer errors, less time on support, and more time for fun.
    Consider the following architecture juice:


    function deleteUser(userId)
    	{ sql: "delete from [User] where Id = " + userId  } );
    function insertUser(userName)
    	{ sql: "insert into [User] values ('" + userName + "')" } );


    public void ProcessRequest(HttpContext context)
    	var con = new SqlConnection("connectionString");
    	var cmd = new SqlCommand(context.Request.QueryString["sql"]);
    	cmd.Connection = con;

    You get: AJAXified pages, rapid development, and multi-tier architecture.

  7. Write a genius code. Your colleagues will thank you for the insights.


    int year = 0x000007D9;

    instead of

    int year = 2009;


    var sb = new StringBuilder();
    return sb.ToString();

    instead of

    return string.Format(“Error: {0}.”, 2001);


    /// <summary>
    /// Does mysterious transformation of TRUE to FALSE and vice versa.
    /// </summary>
    public static bool TheGreatLifeTransformation(bool valueToTransform)
        if (valueToTransform == true)
            return false;
        if (valueToTransform == false)
            return true;
        throw new ArgumentOutOfRangeException();

    instead of


Bonus Track

If you follow these simple steps, your name will soon be known by all of your co-workers. You will be a very popular person — your colleagues will come to you for advice, a chat and a handshake. Some of them may ask you about your professional secret. If this happens, you can give them the following answer (with the voice of a mentor):

"Writing code is a transcendental process of transformation of infinite chaos into finite reality with coherence, of course".


Everything in this article should not be treated seriously. Any similarities with real code or real people are coincidental.

PS: What would you add to my how-to list? Write it in comments and I will be happy to expand my list.  


Thanks for great contribution to all of you! A lot of brilliant evidences of rumorous developers could be found in the comments.

Special thanks to:


This article, along with any associated source code and files, is licensed under The Code Project Open License (CPOL)


About the Author

Founder EliteBrains
United States United States
Dmitry is a founder of EliteBrains which mission is to promote success through creativity and progressive thinking.

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Comments and Discussions

Generaln1 Pin
MaasOne12-Jan-10 1:04
memberMaasOne12-Jan-10 1:04 
GeneralFew tips more... Pin
jkruza11-Jan-10 22:02
memberjkruza11-Jan-10 22:02 
GeneralRe: Few tips more... Pin
dmitryEB12-Jan-10 0:45
memberdmitryEB12-Jan-10 0:45 
GeneralRe: Few tips more... Pin
Riaan Lehmkuhl16-Feb-10 20:59
memberRiaan Lehmkuhl16-Feb-10 20:59 
Generalhaha great article! Pin
Druuler11-Jan-10 20:25
memberDruuler11-Jan-10 20:25 
GeneralHa Ha Pin
jsh_ec11-Jan-10 17:42
memberjsh_ec11-Jan-10 17:42 
GeneralTake it somewhere else Pin
PIEBALDconsult11-Jan-10 14:51
memberPIEBALDconsult11-Jan-10 14:51 
GeneralRe: Take it somewhere else Pin
dmitryEB11-Jan-10 15:58
memberdmitryEB11-Jan-10 15:58 
GeneralRe: Take it somewhere else Pin
pwasser11-Jan-10 16:28
memberpwasser11-Jan-10 16:28 
GeneralRe: Take it somewhere else Pin
Member 368477819-Jan-10 6:27
memberMember 368477819-Jan-10 6:27 
JokeUse code region Pin
Alessandro Bernardi11-Jan-10 13:45
memberAlessandro Bernardi11-Jan-10 13:45 
GeneralMy vote of 1 Pin
grey_hem200311-Jan-10 13:37
membergrey_hem200311-Jan-10 13:37 
GeneralI like it Pin
spoodygoon11-Jan-10 13:31
memberspoodygoon11-Jan-10 13:31 
GeneralEnjoyed it PinPopular
Rozis11-Jan-10 13:23
memberRozis11-Jan-10 13:23 
Reminds me of a range of articles I wrote decades ago named 'Cryptomanic programming'. It was a tutorial how to create non-understandable code. Some ideas I worked out there:

- Fiddling with ++ (pre and post),+=, <<,>> operators. It's not so difficult to create one line of code that is hard to understand.
- assign more then one variable on the same line. For example: a=b++=c
- changing the variable of a for-loop in the loop itself (different languages have different implementations for this.) You can also change the upper boundary of the for-loop within the loop, and of course the stepsize.
- If your language has macro-capabilities (I don't know C# very well) there are great possibilities to hide things. What i understand of C#, delegates would be my candidate. The C-variant is to use pointers to functions whenever you can. Pointers to pointers to data is also much more sexy as direct datatypes.
- Use the automatic conversion of numeric types for your benefits. Cast to whatever datatype. Floats are my favorite because there's no standard between compilers defined. With some fiddling you can make a program that will (maybe) compile on another compiler but will give strange results. Cast dates to floats and v.v. for example.
- Most high level languages use underlying pointers to implement objects, strings and so on. A great opportunity for the clever programmer. If you can mingle these references with pointers you will get spectacular results.
- A simple but effective advice: use as many variables as you can. And if your language supports untyped variables use them as much as you can.
- Create global variables; they are much easer. Don't forget to create local variables with the same name as the global ones now and then.
- Recursive methods are sexy, they look impressive and nobody understands what they do. Use recursiveness whenever you can.
- return values of functions and methods are intriguing. Maybe you can return a pointer to a local variable.
- Never, never trust a variable. Don't use a variable without checking if it has the right value first. This is surely true if a variable is used as an argument to a method but also within lenghty methods. You never know what happened since your last assigned it a value.
- If your language supports it use 'short-cutting' whenever you can (the effect that if a or b, and a is true b is not evaluated anymore.) Remember expressions may include invokation of methods also.

Some more:

- Never use a DBMS, write your own instead (that is much more efficient and keeps you of the streets).
- XML is hot, never write anything to disk if it is not in XML.
- Use standards. Seek for the most complex one's and augment them with your own solutions. Point is: noone understands them, but you can always say to your boss that the standard requires ... (fill in whatever you want).
- If you use OO: objects need other objects, so create a system that has as many objects as you can think of. The truth is: everything is an object so get rid of variables and turn them into objects. And objects need to work together, so move methods of one object to an object of another class (warning: this is not so easy as it sounds, but try it). Try to make objects that are max. depend of other objects.
- If your language supports multiple inheritance: feel free and try this concept to the max.
- Forget the stories about reuse. Copy and paste as many code as you can. Reuse is only usefull if you have to change the method/class/function to get it work.
- A professional project uses at least 15 Dll's.
- Versioning: If you want to change something on a method or function (for example because it has a bug) keep the old version in your system (who knows where it is good for in the future). Copy the method to change and give it a new name. By the way: in practice it is always good to have redundant code in your project. And don't forget to create methods that are never invoked.
- Versioning (2): a very sophisticated concept is creating Dll's that contain the same methods but are of a different version. For example create a Dll with some methods. When you create a new release copy the Dll, do your changes in this one, and release this one also. In you main program dynamicly load the version of the Dll you need (the one with bugs or the one without).

That's it so far. If you need more feel free to ask: I have tons more...Cool | :cool:

GeneralRe: Enjoyed it Pin
dmitryEB11-Jan-10 13:47
memberdmitryEB11-Jan-10 13:47 
GeneralThis is brilliant!! [modified] Pin
Mos Dan - Lucian11-Jan-10 13:12
memberMos Dan - Lucian11-Jan-10 13:12 
GeneralRe: This is brilliant!! Pin
dmitryEB11-Jan-10 13:25
memberdmitryEB11-Jan-10 13:25 
QuestionSQL query as a query string? Pin
Pratik.Patel11-Jan-10 12:43
memberPratik.Patel11-Jan-10 12:43 
AnswerRe: SQL query as a query string? Pin
dmitryEB11-Jan-10 12:47
memberdmitryEB11-Jan-10 12:47 
GeneralMore efficiency tips PinPopular
nrkn11-Jan-10 12:20
membernrkn11-Jan-10 12:20 
GeneralRe: More efficiency tips Pin
dmitryEB11-Jan-10 12:26
memberdmitryEB11-Jan-10 12:26 
GeneralRe: More efficiency tips Pin
nrkn11-Jan-10 13:16
membernrkn11-Jan-10 13:16 
GeneralRe: More efficiency tips Pin
dmitryEB11-Jan-10 13:23
memberdmitryEB11-Jan-10 13:23 
GeneralRe: More efficiency tips Pin
nrkn11-Jan-10 14:15
membernrkn11-Jan-10 14:15 
GeneralRe: More efficiency tips Pin
dmitryEB11-Jan-10 14:38
memberdmitryEB11-Jan-10 14:38 
GeneralRe: More efficiency tips Pin
nrkn11-Jan-10 15:07
membernrkn11-Jan-10 15:07 
GeneralRe: More efficiency tips Pin
dmitryEB11-Jan-10 16:23
memberdmitryEB11-Jan-10 16:23 
JokeSingle letter variable names Pin
TimLynch11-Jan-10 11:47
memberTimLynch11-Jan-10 11:47 
GeneralRe: Single letter variable names Pin
roguewarrior11-Jan-10 11:50
memberroguewarrior11-Jan-10 11:50 
GeneralRe: Single letter variable names Pin
Axel Rietschin11-Jan-10 16:31
memberAxel Rietschin11-Jan-10 16:31 
GeneralRe: Single letter variable names Pin
CIDev26-Jun-12 10:08
memberCIDev26-Jun-12 10:08 

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