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Apple trademarks the SHOP[^]
You do have to wonder if 'window licker' is a pre-requisite for a role in patents and trademarks in the US these days... 
[edit]In their defence the far higher than average number of ass-clowns found in an Apple shop does in itself make them so very different from many, many others[/edit]
Rhys
"If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the Universe"
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I have to post quite possibly the best response i have ever read to a Reg article in relation to the above but fully admit, it's not mine. Enjoy...
Dear Apple,
…I’m not really sure how to begin this. Maybe if I start with how we first met, it might help to clarify my thought and feelings a little and revive something of my former respect and dare I say love for you. Do you remember those heady days? The clutching grip of Microsoft was in everything and everywhere. Almost every computer task I undertook was ounctuated by the phrase “f***ing Windows”. The neighbours must have thought I was some kind of window-fixated sex pervert.
I didn’t really know much about you at the time and you didn’t really know much about me either. I sometimes saw you flirting with the artsy crowd but apart from a few idle thoughts, I didn’t really see you at all.
Then digital music happened. I was one of the first people at college to get a Rio PMP 300, with a whopping 16Mb MMC card. It was neat, it was a novelty but far to small for my needs.
And then you appeared with the iPod. It was beautiful. It was shiny, solid, well engineered and could carry my entire library of music. You didn’t skip and jog like my CD player and you didn’t eat through batteries like my tape player. I could skip to any song I wanted in a matter of seconds. It was the beginnings of true love.
We then took our relationship to the next stage, do you remember? I needed a new computer and, being something of a rebellious teenager, I shrugged off the evil chains of Microsoft and took my first frightening steps into the world of a new operating system. Much like the first time we shared together, my iMac G5 was beautiful and elegant and above all did what I wanted from it. You were always slightly serious though – you never had much time for games aside from Age of Mythology and a few Blizzard titles.
Then my work threatened to turn things into a LDR, when you suggested the Macbook Pro G4. Like a fool, I leapt in, still dizzy with admiration for you. I think that’s when things started to get a little rocky between us. The G4 started to get frighteningly hot in my lap and then the fan started making horrible grinding noises as it struggled to cope. It was the first I feared you’d be violent towards me.
Then you started to change. You began hanging out with a lot of my friends, which I thought was cool to begin with – it meant others could see you and appreciate your virtues as well as I. But then you started getting possessive, especially with music. You wouldn’t let me use my iPod as a normal hard disk any more. When I asked you about this you merely said it was for my own good.
It was around the same time that you announced you were going to have an operation as well, that you didn’t feel comfortable with being an IBM-based machine and wanted to transition to an Intel machine. That was fine – I’ve always been rather open minded about that sort of thing – but I did worry about whether you’d forget about us in your rush to make yourself more open to others. And open up you most certainly did. It seemed like you were hanging out with everyone. Everyone was using an iPod and you whispered about plans for smartphones and even a tablet in that rather coy way you have. You even started picking up viruses in your rush to get better acquainted with people.
That’s when it really became noticeable to me. Now that you’d reached the top, you started to boss people around, acting like you were the belle of the ball. Things had to be the way you wanted them and if others didn’t like it they could take a hike. How you kept all those accessory makers chasing you, designing a port for one style of iPod only for you to decide the next day you wanted something else.
Your star was starting to get tarnished though, after that sordid episode with the Chinese family? You know very well the one I mean. You ran them ragged as well, chanting your little mantra about how they could do things your way or not at all.
We drifted apart after that, aside from the occasional dalliance. You got me through seven of the most tedious and tortured hours of my life at Dubai airport, thanks to your iPod Touch and season 1 of Babylon 5. Did you ever get the remaining series added to your store? You were extremely lapse about that sort of thing the last time I checked.
The next time I saw you, you’d made the papers. You were arguing bitterly with Samsung about something. At first I thought Samsung had stolen some critical code or something tied to your new processors. I was appalled when I discovered that you were suing them for billions over some rounded corners and icon layout. It was downhill from there. It was getting more and more expensive to see you. You were flinging around lawsuits like a spoiled brat. There, I said it. I’ve even heard a rumour that you’re trademarking the way you arrange the tables and chairs in your home. Splutter all you want about protecting your rights but we both know this is purely down as an exercise in flexing your influence. And spite.
I miss you Apple, I miss the fun early days we had together, when you were still finding your way in the world. But you’ve become a monster now, the technological equivalent of Paris Hilton and that’s why I’m breaking up with you.
Goodbye.
Rhys
"If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the Universe"
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That is amazing. 
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde
Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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Colin Mullikin wrote: That is amazing.
What I find funny is that Apple has ALWAYS been "bossy" and obsessed with control (except for their ill fated experiment with third party hardware manufacturers - but Jobs' return took care of that). They just weren't big enough for anyone to care. I've always said, had Apple won the "PC" war back in the eighties instead of Microsoft, the government may well have had to send in a SWAT team to get them to back off, instead of merely hitting them with antitrust suits, as they did to MS.
Of course it was this need for control that prevented them from winning against MS in the first place, but also vaulted them into the spotlight with the iPod and later the iPhone and iPad (kind of like the Apple II days, though those were Woz machines and thus very hackable). Now we see the same scenario being played out vs. Android as it did vs. MS in the 80's and 90's, though Apple has more momentum this time. They'll probably remain the #1 individual maker of smartphones and tablets for the forseeable future, but their overall market share will dwindle until it stabilizes somewhere relatively low (but #1 or 2 in terms of individual sales). Then Apple fanboys can go back to feeling superior again. Which really, isn't that what we all want?
(P.S. My household has 7 Apple devices and two (active) MS devices, though two of the Apple devices are very dependent on MS (Office 2011 - not that bad), and four of them very dependent on Google... it all gets so confusing. And ALL of them depend on Amazon, the secret ruler of them all. Plus we have two Kindles. Maybe we have a problem.)
Look at me still talking when there's science to do
When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you
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Not sure I'd say the "PC" war (as it relates to Apple) was fought & won by Microsoft. It was won by IBM with Microsoft coming along for the ride. IBM slit its own throat and Microsoft became the dominant OS, language and app vendor for the IBM / clone market. Apple made plenty of mistakes along the way... sealing its fate.
As for today... it seems like everyone thinks its a zero-sum game. As if Google/Android or Microsoft must fail for Apple to succeed. It's not. Apple makes it's products and runs the Apple ecosystem a certain way. If that fits a particular consumer's needs - great. If not, they try an Android device or Microsoft or Blackberry.
Possibly authentic witty blog posts aside... none of these companies are inherently good or bad. They all have their strengths and weaknesses. Microsoft was the top dog and the biggest target for a long time. MS supporters blamed the fed's anti-trust case as well as the millions of viruses / trojans on "being the biggest target". With PC's Microsoft is still almost totally dominant. Apple as a consumer device maker and corporation is now the top dog and makes a nice big target for people. Everyone loves an underdog... prior to the iPod and iPhone Apple was a big underdog.
Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. ~ George Washington
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It looks like a thrift shop, to me.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Or iIgnorePriorArt.
The thing is that all you have to do is turn one table sideways, and apple won't be able to do a damned thing about it -- you have the right to arrange your own furniture your own way.
In China, they'll just say that their feng shui consultant advised them to arrange things that way -- not that China would ever grant apple such a stupid patent.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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So this was done in response to the Chinese ishop? but surely that same Chinese ishop is prior art? how can you copywrite someting AFTER its already been copied?
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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If you are Apple you don't need to. 
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I find your use of the term "ass-clown" in describing Apple shop inhabitants quite insulting...
... To ass-clowns everywhere.
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