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I'd be consulting a lawyer!
Grand theft bacon[^]
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Transvestites - Roberts in Disguise!
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5lb! As a midnight snack? 
Just how big is this "lady"?
On seconds thoughts, I don't want to know... 
Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water
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OriginalGriff wrote: 5lb! As a midnight snack?
That's not grounds for a divorce, but grounds for a heart attack! 
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Good god, she must have ate it raw. No man could sleep through 5lbs of bacon getting cooked.
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Woman goes into a lawyers office and says she wants to divorce her husband.
Lawyer asks her, "what are your grounds"
She says, "well, we have a small lot, I wouldn't call them 'grounds'".
Lawyer says, "well, does he beat you up?"
She says, "sometimes he does get up earlier than I, but I don't see how that matters."
Lawyer says, "Do you hold a grudge"
She says, "actually, it's a car port. Why are you asking me these questions?"
Finally, exasperated, the lawyer says, "WHY do you want a divorce?"
She says, "you just can't have a meaningful conversation with him."
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 Superb !!!
Change is a pattern of life.
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He probably was not able to put her arms behind her back to get handcuffed, and I doubt if she could run out of the store - waddle maybe!
I wonder what the fat-laden drinks were - does she drink vegetable oil?
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Transvestites - Roberts in Disguise!
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My sister is well over 600lbs. She drinks milkshakes.
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Does her milkshake bring all the boys to the yard?
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Her husband certainly seems to appreciate her size.
Although I would rather not think about that
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That's when you chain 2 pairs of handcuffs together.
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I think they would need what is known in UK Prison equipment as a closeting chain - this is a long chain with a cuff at each end, which allows prisoners to use the toilet with the door closed - the chain is long enough to pass under the door, with the prisoner on one end, and a screw on the other
(Screw is UK prison slang for a prison officer - e.g. corrections officer/guard)
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Transvestites - Roberts in Disguise!
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