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GeneralCCC 10/10/12 PinmemberDalek Dave9-Oct-12 23:10 
GeneralRe: CCC 10/10/12 PinmvpAbhinav S9-Oct-12 23:21 
GeneralRe: CCC 10/10/12 PinmemberDalek Dave9-Oct-12 23:33 
GeneralRe: CCC 10/10/12 PinmvpAbhinav S9-Oct-12 23:35 
GeneralRe: CCC 10/10/12 PinmemberTPFKAPB9-Oct-12 23:33 
GeneralMQOTD PinmemberV.9-Oct-12 22:30 
GeneralRe: MQOTD PinmemberDalek Dave9-Oct-12 22:37 
GeneralRe: MQOTD PinmvpOriginalGriff9-Oct-12 22:37 
GeneralRe: MQOTD PinmemberV.9-Oct-12 22:42 
GeneralRe: MQOTD PinmemberNagy Vilmos9-Oct-12 23:08 
GeneralRe: MQOTD PinmemberDeathByChocolate9-Oct-12 23:43 
GeneralProblem recording Pinmemberhayrob9-Oct-12 22:15 
GeneralRe: Problem recording PinmvpRichard MacCutchan9-Oct-12 23:38 
JokeMore laywer jokes PinmemberRavi Bhavnani9-Oct-12 18:36 
Q: What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A: The caterer.
 
Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?
A: Lipstick.
 
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
A: Your Honor.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50
A: Senator.
 
Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
A: Accountants know they're boring.
 
Q: What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?
A: A jury.
 
Q: Why did God invent lawyers?
A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
 
Q: What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?
A: The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
 
Q: What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A: A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
 
Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A: A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
 
Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
 
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
 
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
 
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
 
Q: How are an apple and a lawyer alike?
A: They both look good hanging from a tree.
 
Q: How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
A: She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
 
Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
 
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.
 
Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
 
Q: What are lawyers good for?
A: They make used car salesmen look good.
 
Q: What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?
A: They're both extinct.
 
Q: What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?
A: Not enough cement.
 
Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
A: Skeet.
 
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad.
A: Senator.
 
Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: His partners.
 
Q: What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?
A: Taller
 
Q: What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman.
 
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
A: The pronunciation.
 
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
 
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
 
Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
A: One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
 
Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.
 
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
 
Q: What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: The tick falls off when you are dead.
 
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A: I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
 
Q: Know how copper wire was invented?
A: Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
 
Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
 
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.
 
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: Their lips are moving.
 
Q: Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
A: New Jersey got to pick first.
 
Q: Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
A: Cats keep trying to bury them.
 
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
 
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
 
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
 
Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
 
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
 
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: Take your foot off his head.
 
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?
A: The bucket.
 
Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
 
Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.
 
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand
 
Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A: From chasing parked ambulances.
 
Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: In the cemetery.
 
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A: A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
 
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.
 
Q: Why to lawyers wear neckties?
A: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
 
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A: When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
 
Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
 
Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.
 
Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A: The caterer.
 
Q: Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?
A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
 
Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
 
Q: What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
 
/ravi
My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536
Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware
ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

GeneralRe: More laywer jokes PinmemberRoger Wright9-Oct-12 18:59 
GeneralRe: More laywer jokes PinmemberRavi Bhavnani9-Oct-12 19:01 
GeneralRe: More laywer jokes PinmemberRoger Wright9-Oct-12 19:51 
GeneralRe: More laywer jokes PinmemberNueman9-Oct-12 19:05 
GeneralRe: More laywer jokes PinmemberRavi Bhavnani9-Oct-12 19:11 
GeneralRe: More laywer jokes PinmemberMichael Bergman9-Oct-12 19:22 
Generalour legal system Pinmemberdevvvy9-Oct-12 22:13 
GeneralRe: More laywer jokes PinmemberJ4amieC9-Oct-12 22:18 
GeneralRe: More laywer jokes PinprotectorPete O'Hanlon9-Oct-12 23:52 
GeneralAnother lawyer joke PinmentorTom Clement9-Oct-12 17:01 
GeneralRe: Another lawyer joke PinmemberRoger Wright9-Oct-12 18:25 
JokeThe first Lady Gaga post that is relevant to IT (she met Julian Assange at the embassy) Pinmemberwizardzz9-Oct-12 12:13 
GeneralRe: The first Lady Gaga post that is relevant to IT (she met Julian Assange at the embassy) Pinmember0bx9-Oct-12 12:17 
GeneralRe: The first Lady Gaga post that is relevant to IT (she met Julian Assange at the embassy) Pinmemberwizardzz9-Oct-12 12:21 
GeneralRe: The first Lady Gaga post that is relevant to IT (she met Julian Assange at the embassy) Pinmemberjim lahey9-Oct-12 23:17 
GeneralRe: The first Lady Gaga post that is relevant to IT (she met Julian Assange at the embassy) Pinmemberwizardzz10-Oct-12 5:00 
JokeRe: The first Lady Gaga post that is relevant to IT (she met Julian Assange at the embassy) PinprotectorAspDotNetDev9-Oct-12 12:42 
GeneralRe: The first Lady Gaga post that is relevant to IT (she met Julian Assange at the embassy) Pinmemberwizardzz9-Oct-12 12:48 
GeneralRe: The first Lady Gaga post that is relevant to IT (she met Julian Assange at the embassy) Pinmemberlewax009-Oct-12 16:54 
GeneralRe: The first Lady Gaga post that is relevant to IT (she met Julian Assange at the embassy) PinmemberBassam Abdul-Baki10-Oct-12 2:08 
GeneralAnother Darwin Award contender PinmemberShameel9-Oct-12 11:48 
GeneralRe: Another Darwin Award contender Pinmembermark merrens9-Oct-12 11:51 
GeneralRe: Another Darwin Award contender Pinmember0bx9-Oct-12 12:31 
GeneralRe: Another Darwin Award contender Pinmembermark merrens9-Oct-12 12:35 
GeneralRe: Another Darwin Award contender Pinmember0bx9-Oct-12 13:10 
GeneralRe: Another Darwin Award contender Pinmembermark merrens9-Oct-12 13:24 
GeneralRe: Another Darwin Award contender Pinmemberenhzflep10-Oct-12 0:32 
GeneralRe: Another Darwin Award contender Pinmember Michael Martin 9-Oct-12 13:42 
GeneralRe: Another Darwin Award contender PinmemberPaulowniaK9-Oct-12 15:12 
GeneralRe: Another Darwin Award contender PinmvpRichard MacCutchan9-Oct-12 23:49 
GeneralRe: Another Darwin Award contender Pinmemberjkirkerx9-Oct-12 18:54 
GeneralPoor me! PinmemberMeysam Tolouee9-Oct-12 10:41 
GeneralRe: Poor me! PinprotectorPete O'Hanlon9-Oct-12 10:45 
GeneralRe: Poor me! PinmvpRichard MacCutchan9-Oct-12 11:22 
AnswerRe: Poor me! PinmemberMeysam Tolouee9-Oct-12 11:34 
GeneralRe: Poor me! PinmemberSlacker00710-Oct-12 1:34 

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