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GeneralRe: "Aboriginals for Assange" grant Julianus Breachus Assangeus a passport: What CP can do for El Liberador Pin
Nagy Vilmos17-Dec-12 1:49
memberNagy Vilmos17-Dec-12 1:49 
GeneralRe: "Aboriginals for Assange" grant Julianus Breachus Assangeus a passport: What CP can do for El Liberador Pin
OriginalGriff17-Dec-12 1:50
mvpOriginalGriff17-Dec-12 1:50 
GeneralRe: "Aboriginals for Assange" grant Julianus Breachus Assangeus a passport: What CP can do for El Liberador Pin
BillWoodruff17-Dec-12 6:43
memberBillWoodruff17-Dec-12 6:43 
GeneralRe: "Aboriginals for Assange" grant Julianus Breachus Assangeus a passport: What CP can do for El Liberador Pin
grralph117-Dec-12 10:52
membergrralph117-Dec-12 10:52 
GeneralNagy! XKCD knows you! Pin
OriginalGriff16-Dec-12 21:35
mvpOriginalGriff16-Dec-12 21:35 
GeneralRe: Nagy! XKCD knows you! Pin
Nagy Vilmos16-Dec-12 23:26
memberNagy Vilmos16-Dec-12 23:26 
GeneralRe: Nagy! XKCD knows you! Pin
Johnny J.17-Dec-12 0:03
memberJohnny J.17-Dec-12 0:03 
JokeThe auditing Pin
Amir Mahfoozi16-Dec-12 18:54
memberAmir Mahfoozi16-Dec-12 18:54 
The IRS decides to audit Morris, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Morris shows up with his attorney.

The auditor says, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Morris. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Morris says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Morris removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops.

Morris says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Morris isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Morris removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Morris's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Morris asks. 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Morris stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just cancelled a major loss. But Morris's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Morris told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and not only that but you'd be happy about it!'
GeneralRe: The auditing Pin
SockPuppeteer16-Dec-12 19:55
memberSockPuppeteer16-Dec-12 19:55 
GeneralRe: The auditing Pin
Brady Kelly16-Dec-12 21:39
memberBrady Kelly16-Dec-12 21:39 
GeneralThe weekend before Christmas Pin
Mycroft Holmes16-Dec-12 15:36
memberMycroft Holmes16-Dec-12 15:36 
GeneralRe: The weekend before Christmas Pin
Christian Graus16-Dec-12 15:38
mvpChristian Graus16-Dec-12 15:38 
GeneralRe: The weekend before Christmas Pin
bryce16-Dec-12 16:26
memberbryce16-Dec-12 16:26 
GeneralRe: The weekend before Christmas Pin
Christian Graus16-Dec-12 16:31
mvpChristian Graus16-Dec-12 16:31 
GeneralRe: The weekend before Christmas Pin
Mycroft Holmes16-Dec-12 16:31
memberMycroft Holmes16-Dec-12 16:31 
GeneralRe: The weekend before Christmas Pin
Henize16-Dec-12 16:44
memberHenize16-Dec-12 16:44 
GeneralRe: The weekend before Christmas Pin
Christian Graus16-Dec-12 16:45
mvpChristian Graus16-Dec-12 16:45 
GeneralRe: The weekend before Christmas Pin
Henize16-Dec-12 17:00
memberHenize16-Dec-12 17:00 
GeneralRe: The weekend before Christmas Pin
cooky2416-Dec-12 19:59
membercooky2416-Dec-12 19:59 
GeneralRe: The weekend before Christmas Pin
d@nish 16-Dec-12 18:02
member d@nish 16-Dec-12 18:02 
GeneralRe: The weekend before Christmas Pin
Nish Sivakumar17-Dec-12 9:01
mvpNish Sivakumar17-Dec-12 9:01 
GeneralRe: The weekend before Christmas Pin
Christian Graus17-Dec-12 9:40
mvpChristian Graus17-Dec-12 9:40 
GeneralRe: The weekend before Christmas Pin
_Josh_16-Dec-12 16:54
member_Josh_16-Dec-12 16:54 
GeneralRe: The weekend before Christmas Pin
Mycroft Holmes16-Dec-12 17:25
memberMycroft Holmes16-Dec-12 17:25 
GeneralRe: The weekend before Christmas Pin
_Josh_16-Dec-12 19:19
member_Josh_16-Dec-12 19:19 

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