In other vague, inane and utterly pointless narcissistic news:
I've managed to get food poisoning from a week old pastry. What can I say? I was hungry and unlucky!
My wife has relented on the purchase of new highly impractical car she can't drive (variegate punishments to be enforced later), however I forgot I suffer from a disease known as Imacheapbastarditis, a terrible affliction which leaves one with a hatred of spending money and healthy investments. The usual treatment is Wifox, which can drain a bank account faster than Mr. W.E.Coyote is pounded in to the ground by a falling anvil. Obviously in this case it's not effective.