Yep! I am going through a mid life crisis. I don't think I have had anything to smile about for months now. I just get ragged on at home, never get to do anything that I want either and if I do, I am being selfish.
I feel your pain brother but stick it out! you will come through it.
Women are a totally diffrent species, i'm not sure if you have had the pleasure of dealing with pregnancy / kids or not, but if you havn't... trust me it's not a pretty picture for being ragged on...
Women have thier own coping mechnizm and that typically means going off thier rocker and making little to no sence, and our lives seem like hell in the process... The only advice I have for dealing with a woman is "suck it up" (providing she is worth it)... put a smile on your face, refuse to get sucked into arguments, and take the blame (it dosen't matter who is really right or wrong) ...
I used to get ragged on all the time, and had nothing to smile about... I just sucked it up, and made a point of getting the two of us out once a week... away from the house, away freom the kids... it doesn't have to cost much, even just a coffee and some conversation not related to domstic issues.
Ziggy says the point is: "If it itches, scratch it" ... don't let others hold you back, do what YOU want to do... Scratch your own itch
I appreciate your postings, and your time. You have helped a lot of people like myself along the C++ journeys. In that light, I am returning some time and kindness to you. The language of topic here isn't computer based, rather, the 5 basic languages of love which can really improve your relationship.
Observe how your honey shows you love and appreciation. Then return those types of love and appreciation to her. This will let her know that you love her and she will be more loving back to you. Sounds like she's letting you know she needs something like attention, quality time etc. Seriously, give this a try, you'll be happy you did.
Love is a choice, and takes effort on both partners. When we make the choice to love one another, we do so by giving of ourselves to the other.
There are 5 basic ways that people express love to one another:
Quality Time, Affirmation, Gift Giving, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch
We naturally do these things when we are in courtship, then we relax, and start to slip. We all tend to place our own needs ahead of our spouses. Pretty soon unhappiness sets in, with complaints, nagging, etc.
Quality Time refers to spending time together as a couple. People who have this as their love language feel loved when they are taken out on special dates, when their spouse clears the calendar for them, or when the television is turned off in order to have a conversation. Listening is key here, you want to listen more than talk. Ask how she's feeling, how her day went. These are powerful ways to let her know you care.
Others prefer Words of Affirmation as a way to be shown love. Telling your spouse how you appreciate them, encouraging them, and general words of praise and acceptance all show your love. Like, I really appreciate the dinner tonight, I know that it took a lot of time and effort to make a meal like this. Thanks for your phone call today... it brightened my afternoon.
If Gifts is your spouse's love language, then you need to understand that for them, gifts are not simply material objects -- they are expressions of your love. Unexpected little things like bringing home a flower, or a special treat shows her that she is loved and cared for.
If your spouse's love language is Acts of Service, they will appreciate your help more than anything. Give her a night off from cooking or other household chores.
Some people prefer Physical Touch as their love language. A simple touch on the arm, hug or backrub will convey your love to them.
Try these simple things and see the change in your honey. If you want more detail, read the book "The five love languages" by Gary Chapman.
Chris Maunder wrote: I'll tell you what: Dave and I will come visit your work dressed in clown costumes to prove CP is good for morale.
Thats not a bad idea! Can you juggle as well?
The main problem is I liike to keep upto date with the articles and comments forums. So if I visit I may spend a min 30+ minutes browsing. As CP has such a colourful look that can be spotted way across the office, non programmers think I am not working. As they are not allowed to visit sites for personal use as well I was asked to cut right down on my visits to stop affecting morale and perception of the sw dept.
This means that I don't get to anwser questions in the forums etc or stick my rather blunt oar into discussions.
Plus I am too tired at home recently to really post from there even though I recently got broadband at home.
Well, I have just been around to see the estate agent today to get them to come round my house to re-evaluate it. It means that I am going to spend quite some time tonight cleaning up ready for their visit tomorrow.
I have been doing quite a bit of DIY work recently. Thats included lots of painting, some plastering and replacing all the floorboards in the bathroom. The central heating system boiler was replaced earlier this year. We now have one with a timer in it which means you don't have to get up in the middle of a freezing house to turn it on - as long as you had set the timer first of course.
On other news, I got accepted into a CounterStrike clan www.mortal-souls.com[^]. They play CS, Day of Defeat (Another HL mod) and 1942, which I just got around to ordering today.
I am still mainly a CS freak, so if you do play please visit our server, you can find a link to it on the website.
Well, I have been lacking enthusiasm about starting my next one, but I think its time to bite the bullit and get on with it. Its going to be a large plug-in module for my series. Hopefully it will provide customizable toolbars etc for the library. The rate its going, and if I get the virtual function features in as well, it could eventually become a full feldged product in itself, but I do not really fancy selling it to people. They can have it for free
The other article I have in mind is a game with as the hero. Its going to be a DirectX game very much like Repton 3, although if I ever learn to draw properly, it should have nice animations and difficult maps etc. Maybe when it gets close to completion I will request help from more gifted members of the CP community to do that side for me. I would even make them a co-author.
Spent it doing DIY and playing CounterStrike on my new Broadband connection. Hopefully I will have my house up for sale very soon. That means I may lose the new conenction if its not supported in the area I move to. Oh well.
Now I just need to start viewing houses. My mother is the most happy about me moving. She doesn't like the house I am in at the moment, it being too up/down (its on 4 levels) and a total of 3m wide.
With 4 of us in it, its quite cramped at the moment. Looking to get a minimum of a 3 bed place although I would prefer a run-down porperty so I can get it at a cheap price. Then I can go into DIY mode again
Its been odd coming back to work after not having been thinking about code at all for such a long time (for me). I did try and put some work into some new rtciles, but I just couldn't muster any kind of enthusiasm, although I do have a couple in mind. Some for the plug-in series (see below) and a DirectX game if I ever get around to writing it.
Do I sound in a more upbeat mood? Am I happier? Well maybe a small amount. The woman at home is still making my life a misery, its only the kids the make it livable really. And the eldest of those has only really told me to f*** off recently. How nice is that?
Just ordered BT broardband for my home PC. It will be a 512K connection, although I did have the option to go for 1Meg, but for an extra £11/month. Not sure I (or my step kids) would be using it enough to warrant that.
Its due to be delivered and installed on 28th of June this month, between 8am and 5pm. Now theres an accurate time! Fortunately I think someone will be home, else I will have to run out of the office when they do arrive (I live 1 mile of 1.6 km from where I work).
So this means I will be able to play CS at home as well, and really annoy the girlfiend. Not that I care much at the moment.
For David Wullf if your reading (like heck he is), I had to go with BT, as they are the only supplier of broardband in my area, and getting stuffed by a 56K connection at home was making me even mnore depressed than I am already. If I tip over the edge, it could be bad for my life expectancy. Mind you, if BT turn out to be as bad as your expeirences, it could be the nail in my coffin!
If you vote me down, my score will only get lower
Last Visit: 31-Dec-99 19:00 Last Update: 31-Mar-15 4:32