Yep! I am going through a mid life crisis. I don't think I have had anything to smile about for months now. I just get ragged on at home, never get to do anything that I want either and if I do, I am being selfish.
I feel your pain brother but stick it out! you will come through it.
Women are a totally diffrent species, i'm not sure if you have had the pleasure of dealing with pregnancy / kids or not, but if you havn't... trust me it's not a pretty picture for being ragged on...
Women have thier own coping mechnizm and that typically means going off thier rocker and making little to no sence, and our lives seem like hell in the process... The only advice I have for dealing with a woman is "suck it up" (providing she is worth it)... put a smile on your face, refuse to get sucked into arguments, and take the blame (it dosen't matter who is really right or wrong) ...
I used to get ragged on all the time, and had nothing to smile about... I just sucked it up, and made a point of getting the two of us out once a week... away from the house, away freom the kids... it doesn't have to cost much, even just a coffee and some conversation not related to domstic issues.
Ziggy says the point is: "If it itches, scratch it" ... don't let others hold you back, do what YOU want to do... Scratch your own itch
I appreciate your postings, and your time. You have helped a lot of people like myself along the C++ journeys. In that light, I am returning some time and kindness to you. The language of topic here isn't computer based, rather, the 5 basic languages of love which can really improve your relationship.
Observe how your honey shows you love and appreciation. Then return those types of love and appreciation to her. This will let her know that you love her and she will be more loving back to you. Sounds like she's letting you know she needs something like attention, quality time etc. Seriously, give this a try, you'll be happy you did.
Love is a choice, and takes effort on both partners. When we make the choice to love one another, we do so by giving of ourselves to the other.
There are 5 basic ways that people express love to one another:
Quality Time, Affirmation, Gift Giving, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch
We naturally do these things when we are in courtship, then we relax, and start to slip. We all tend to place our own needs ahead of our spouses. Pretty soon unhappiness sets in, with complaints, nagging, etc.
Quality Time refers to spending time together as a couple. People who have this as their love language feel loved when they are taken out on special dates, when their spouse clears the calendar for them, or when the television is turned off in order to have a conversation. Listening is key here, you want to listen more than talk. Ask how she's feeling, how her day went. These are powerful ways to let her know you care.
Others prefer Words of Affirmation as a way to be shown love. Telling your spouse how you appreciate them, encouraging them, and general words of praise and acceptance all show your love. Like, I really appreciate the dinner tonight, I know that it took a lot of time and effort to make a meal like this. Thanks for your phone call today... it brightened my afternoon.
If Gifts is your spouse's love language, then you need to understand that for them, gifts are not simply material objects -- they are expressions of your love. Unexpected little things like bringing home a flower, or a special treat shows her that she is loved and cared for.
If your spouse's love language is Acts of Service, they will appreciate your help more than anything. Give her a night off from cooking or other household chores.
Some people prefer Physical Touch as their love language. A simple touch on the arm, hug or backrub will convey your love to them.
Try these simple things and see the change in your honey. If you want more detail, read the book "The five love languages" by Gary Chapman.
Last Visit: 31-Dec-99 18:00 Last Update: 27-Aug-15 16:03