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smaaaart wrote: You can't win!
Obviously - but I've always found that fighting windmills[^] is more satisfying than it's rumored to be 
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The problem is, while you fight windmills because it's fun, there are others who will see you doing so and think windmills are things that should actually be fought against, because windmills are not windmills, but dragons. Very soon, a trend will have started.
Actually, the trend has started[^].
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Windmills can't be faught - dragons on the other hand can, albeit with great difficulty.
Here be Dragons:
A Death March[^] project of the "Kamikaze" kind can sometimes be turned into a "Mission Impossible" project, and then through an insane effort brought to completion.
Windmill:
Getting the "Kamikaze" team to figure out how both "Kamikaze" and "Mission Impossible" projects can be avoided.
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You have a point. 
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Young couple honeymoon.
Man takes off his pants and hands em to his new wife and says try these on honey.
"She says why these are to big" to which he answers "that's right and don' forget who wears the pants in this family"
She takes her panties off and hands em to him to which he replies "these are to small I could never get into these" and she says "that's right and if you don't change your attitude you ain't going to either".
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So, Quasimodo is swinging through the dark Parisien night, pursued by an angry mob holding torches aloft, armed with pitchforks and sundry kitchen items.
As his lead increases, it becomes obvious the crowd will never reach him,and they slow to a standstill. Quasimodo twists his distorted body around to jeer at his pursuers, before swinging into the bell tower atop the cathedral at Notre Dame.
He shouldn't have taken is good eye off his trajectory to taunt the mob, as this causes him to miss his landing, and he smashed at high-speed into the bell, alerting all of Paris, and fell to the ground below.
Many onlookers hurried to the cathedral steps, where Quasimodo's body lay in a bloody mess.
One man approached, and kicked the still-warm form over
"Anyone know who this is?" he shouted.
A passerby looked across
"No" he shouted "but his face rings a bell."
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I may be wrong, but I think he was Anthony Quinn.
At least artificial intelligence already is superior to natural stupidity
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The following day, the Bishop decided he had to search for a bell ringer. The first man to turn up said "I am Quasimodo's brother. Please allow me to replace him."
The Bishop agreed to give the man a chance to show what he could do as a bell-ringer - but as he stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he clutched at his chest and died on the spot.
Two monks, hearing the Bishop's cries of grief, rushed in.
"What happened. Who is this poor man?" they cried.
"I don't know his name," the Bishop said sadly, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother."
Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water
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...must have an entirely different meaning to podophiliacs.
Though, I expect they wouldn't consider there to be a wrong foot for that, just so long as a foot is involved.
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A step in the wrong direction?
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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The usual suspects may not be on their toes today... or the thread may be jammed
If it moves, compile it
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So that's where toejam comes from?
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 Loctrice seems to have arrived at the same conclusion.
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Twelve monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up, nude, in a garden while a nude model danced before them. Each monk had a small bell attached to his privates, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The model danced before the first monk candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response until she got to the final monk. As she danced, his bell rang so loudly it fell off and clattered to the ground. Embarrassed, he bent down to pick up the bell, and eleven other bells began to ring...
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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Old but new setting. Me like. 
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H
OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre
I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer
Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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mark merrens wrote: Old and very bad joke...
Well, it still made me laugh
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Interesting.
The Los Angeles riots was interesting, too.
How bad is it getting in your area? Keep that shotgun close at hand.
"the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
"No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011)
"It is the celestial scrotum of good luck!" - Nagy Vilmos (2011)
"But you probably have the smoothest scrotum of any grown man" - Pete O'Hanlon (2012)
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It was fine by my area. A group of 50 passed close to where I stay, but during the day I only managed to take a peak at one march. It was pretty huge, but the police and DHS response was massive.
All the protesters are gone, though there is one meeting planned for tomorrow in front of my building. Still DHS / FPS vehicles around.
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A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time, her father's nakedness.
Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?"
Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life.
Without them we wouldn't be here."
Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.
To which mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?"
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Five minutes later and I'm still laughing.
"the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
"No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011)
"It is the celestial scrotum of good luck!" - Nagy Vilmos (2011)
"But you probably have the smoothest scrotum of any grown man" - Pete O'Hanlon (2012)
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