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I might repeat myself but:
Q: How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they just beat the room for beeing black.
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Ok, a very old one:
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb.
A: Four and a revolving chair. One climbs on the revolving chair and holds the lightbulb. Two turn the chair and one checks with a flashlight wether the bulb glows or not.
Q: And how many blondes take it to switch the light off again?
A: The same four. One on the revolving chair, two turning it and one checking with a flashlight, wether the light is off or not. 
------------------------------
Author of Primary ROleplaying SysTem
How do I take my coffee? Black as midnight on a moonless night.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
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Very old one:
How many civil servants does it take to change a lightbulb?
CHANGE??!?!?!?!??!?!!!
Also, one by henning wehn/[^]
How many Germans does it take to change a lighbulb?
One, because that is the number required.
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Ok, so old joke day...
How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None - it's a hardware problem.
How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?
None - the light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven - one to install the new bulb, and six to figure what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.
How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two - one to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
How many existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two - one to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of nothingness.
Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water
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Also an old one but maybe not known outside of Germany yet:
How many East Frisians does it take to change a light bulb?
Five, one to hold the bulb and four to lift and turn the table he is standing on.
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You know the drill, fill in the punchline. Most high votes wins.
Sex with me is like a cocktail,
modified 13 Sep '12 - 11:36.
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But without the Umbrella, cos that would be just freaky.
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Sex with me is like a cocktail,
<George Thorogood voice>
One drink ain't enough, you better make it three.
</George Thorogood voice>
Chris Meech
I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar]
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra]
posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]
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Not - " I drink alone, yeah With nobody else "?
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Girls get it for free; straight guys don't want it.
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wizardzz wrote: Sex with me is like a cocktail,
all cold and slushy.
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It will last an hour and a half, you'll be bored shitless,and Tom Cruise will be there.
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It leaves you with a slight burning sensation.
Be The Noise
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The first round lasts about 5 minutes, each consecutive round, slightly longer.
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I prefer my drink like I prefer my sex, straight!
---------------------------------
I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
CCC Link[ ^]
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I can't let my wife know I had it.
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Sex with me is like a cocktail
It feels good once its inside you.
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Sex With Me Is Like - A Cocktail
Expensive and not very nice. 
If you vote me down, my score will only get lower
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If you have it at work, you'll end up in a meeting with HR.
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Legally, you're required to show ID before you have it.
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wizardzz wrote: Sex with me is like a cocktail,
You put c o c k with tail and you get sex.
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Sometimes you get a salted rim.
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I'll spin you round, throw you through the air and end up setting fire to you.
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You'll love me while going down, but a lot of regret in the morning.
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Too much will make you ill.
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If you sell it to minors you are in a elephant load of trouble
If it moves, compile it
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Sex with me is like a cocktail,
Enjoyable at first, but you just know you'll regret it tomorrow.
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After a few minutes, you'll wish you had ordered something harder.
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Sex with Mick Jagger is like a cocktail, because you'll likely get both.
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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a сock is not involved.
ps: the word filter seems broken
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wizardzz wrote: Sex with me is like a cocktail,
Shaken, not stirred.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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We'll both have Sex on the beach
One of us will have a Screaming Orgasm
And the other will have a Slippery Nipple.
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Pete O'Hanlon wrote: And the other will have a Slippery Nipple.
And a Bloody Mary!
Just couldn't help it, sorry
Full-fledged Java/.NET lover, full-fledged PHP hater.
Full-fledged Google/Microsoft lover, full-fledged Apple hater.
Full-fledged Skype lover, full-fledged YM hater.
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If it moves, compile it
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Good one 
If it moves, compile it
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wizardzz wrote: Sex with me is like a cocktail,
because my c*** is so long it hangs limp behind me.
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Sex with me is like a cocktail,
You can't have just one.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein
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Sex with me is like a cocktail, it's cheaper to make it yourself.
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wizardzz wrote: Sex with me is like a cocktail,
you'll enjoy it for a long time, but will have forgotten about it in the morning...
V.
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At the bar until I have to puke and then I roll over to fall asleep.
modified 14 Sep '12 - 3:10.
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wizardzz wrote: Sex with me is like a cocktail,
...one big swallow and its all over.
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Whatsapp quite convenient but transmission of message is in plaintext... urm...
http://www.h-online.com/security/news/item/Sniffer-tool-displays-other-people-s-WhatsApp-messages-1574382.html
You can also send Whatsapp messages from your computer (well, you need to code it up, but there's an API)
http://www.whatsapp-api.com/developers.php
However, API also uses unencrypted HTTP (yes, not HTTPS)
I'm dazzled by their lack of awareness (i mean how hard to encrypt your sh*t?) - basically, someone can run a sniffer to capture your API Key (which is unencrypted). Then use this key in with a small program with a while loop to deplete all money you have in Whatsapp-API account in a few seconds.
dev
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Unecrypted BOOM-TISH
IThankyow, I'm available for Weddings, funerals & bah-mitzvahs
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If you must put URIs in your messages please ensure you make them clickable.
One of these days I'm going to think of a really clever signature.
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lol!! That's a good one mate!
dev
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What?
I was being serious; there is a protocol here and we are all expected to follow it.
One of these days I'm going to think of a really clever signature.
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