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GeneralRe: Now hiring.... Pin
Mendor818-Oct-12 21:32
memberMendor818-Oct-12 21:32 
JokeI don't understand my wife... Pin
ihoecken7-Oct-12 23:01
memberihoecken7-Oct-12 23:01 
JokeRe: I don't understand my wife... Pin
Shameel8-Oct-12 1:51
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GeneralRe: I don't understand my wife... Pin
Mike Hankey8-Oct-12 12:52
memberMike Hankey8-Oct-12 12:52 
JokeBig titroubles... Pin
Joan Murt7-Oct-12 22:56
memberJoan Murt7-Oct-12 22:56 
GeneralRe: Big titroubles... Pin
Jörgen Andersson8-Oct-12 0:48
memberJörgen Andersson8-Oct-12 0:48 
GeneralRe: Big titroubles... Pin
Johnny J.8-Oct-12 2:02
memberJohnny J.8-Oct-12 2:02 
GeneralRe: Big titroubles... Pin
Mike Hankey8-Oct-12 12:55
memberMike Hankey8-Oct-12 12:55 
GeneralBlind man Pin
Jörgen Andersson6-Oct-12 10:03
memberJörgen Andersson6-Oct-12 10:03 
GeneralTherapy Pin
Jörgen Andersson6-Oct-12 10:00
memberJörgen Andersson6-Oct-12 10:00 
GeneralRe: Therapy Pin
hoernchenmeister7-Oct-12 23:35
memberhoernchenmeister7-Oct-12 23:35 
GeneralHalf-sister Pin
Jörgen Andersson6-Oct-12 9:58
memberJörgen Andersson6-Oct-12 9:58 
GeneralRe: Half-sister Pin
Richard Deeming8-Oct-12 8:58
memberRichard Deeming8-Oct-12 8:58 
JokeTickle me Elmo Pin
Jörgen Andersson6-Oct-12 9:49
memberJörgen Andersson6-Oct-12 9:49 
There is a factory in Essex which makes Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Shelley is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands Shelley surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The two men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Shelley.

"I'm sorry" he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday... your job is to give Elmo 'two test tickles'".
Light moves faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright, until you hear them speak.
List of common misconceptions

GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo Pin
Mike Hankey6-Oct-12 20:51
memberMike Hankey6-Oct-12 20:51 
GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo Pin
Jörgen Andersson7-Oct-12 1:18
memberJörgen Andersson7-Oct-12 1:18 
GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo Pin
Mike Hankey7-Oct-12 3:49
memberMike Hankey7-Oct-12 3:49 
GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo Pin
ihoecken7-Oct-12 23:13
memberihoecken7-Oct-12 23:13 
GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo Pin
hoernchenmeister7-Oct-12 23:38
memberhoernchenmeister7-Oct-12 23:38 
GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo Pin
Jörgen Andersson8-Oct-12 0:50
memberJörgen Andersson8-Oct-12 0:50 
GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo Pin
hoernchenmeister8-Oct-12 1:00
memberhoernchenmeister8-Oct-12 1:00 
GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo Pin
Jörgen Andersson8-Oct-12 1:15
memberJörgen Andersson8-Oct-12 1:15 
GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo Pin
hoernchenmeister8-Oct-12 1:34
memberhoernchenmeister8-Oct-12 1:34 
JokeBeware of kids!! Pin
stib_markc4-Oct-12 23:07
memberstib_markc4-Oct-12 23:07 
JokeDoctors' opinions on Universal Health Insurance Pin
Vivic4-Oct-12 21:32
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GeneralRe: Doctors' opinions on Universal Health Insurance Pin
Zac Greve5-Oct-12 5:52
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GeneralRe: Doctors' opinions on Universal Health Insurance Pin
krumia6-Oct-12 20:48
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JokeGreat service Pin
Joan Murt4-Oct-12 21:11
memberJoan Murt4-Oct-12 21:11 
JokeRe: Great service Pin
Manfred R. Bihy4-Oct-12 22:06
mvpManfred R. Bihy4-Oct-12 22:06 
JokeRe: Great service Pin
Joan Murt4-Oct-12 22:15
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GeneralRe: Great service Pin
djj555-Oct-12 1:02
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GeneralRe: Great service Pin
Shameel6-Oct-12 0:37
memberShameel6-Oct-12 0:37 
JokeI'll be saving pennies from now on... Pin
Naerling4-Oct-12 12:35
memberNaerling4-Oct-12 12:35 
JokeConfession Pin
Manfred R. Bihy4-Oct-12 22:08
mvpManfred R. Bihy4-Oct-12 22:08 
GeneralRe: Confession Pin
stib_markc4-Oct-12 23:10
memberstib_markc4-Oct-12 23:10 
GeneralRe: Confession Pin
GenJerDan5-Oct-12 3:17
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GeneralRe: Confession Pin
J4amieC5-Oct-12 3:34
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GeneralRe: Confession Pin
Andy Brummer5-Oct-12 7:21
sitebuilderAndy Brummer5-Oct-12 7:21 
GeneralRe: Confession Pin
zenwalker19857-Oct-12 18:36
memberzenwalker19857-Oct-12 18:36 
GeneralRe: Confession Pin
Naerling5-Oct-12 7:40
memberNaerling5-Oct-12 7:40 
GeneralA Question Pin
Vivic3-Oct-12 23:34
memberVivic3-Oct-12 23:34 
GeneralRe: A Question Pin
TorstenH.4-Oct-12 2:20
memberTorstenH.4-Oct-12 2:20 
GeneralRe: A Question Pin
Marcus Kramer4-Oct-12 3:32
memberMarcus Kramer4-Oct-12 3:32 
JokeRe: A Question Pin
Joan Murt4-Oct-12 6:17
memberJoan Murt4-Oct-12 6:17 
GeneralRe: A Question Pin
TorstenH.4-Oct-12 20:48
memberTorstenH.4-Oct-12 20:48 
GeneralRe: A Question Pin
Joan Murt4-Oct-12 21:13
memberJoan Murt4-Oct-12 21:13 
GeneralOn the care of large pachyderms Pin
Chris C-B3-Oct-12 23:22
memberChris C-B3-Oct-12 23:22 
GeneralRe: On the care of large pachyderms Pin
Joan Murt3-Oct-12 23:56
memberJoan Murt3-Oct-12 23:56 
JokeRe: On the care of large pachyderms Pin
drolfson4-Oct-12 7:12
memberdrolfson4-Oct-12 7:12 
JokeRe: On the care of large pachyderms Pin
Joan Murt4-Oct-12 7:16
memberJoan Murt4-Oct-12 7:16 

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