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The Soapbox allows you to stand up and have a rant, tell a bad joke, complain about someone or post stuff that that may not be appropriate for reading at work and/or isn't strictly IT industry related. It is rated M. Do not post anything offensive or which breaches the Terms of Use. Do not post programming questions (use the programming forums for that) and please don't post ads.

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GeneralRe: Now hiring.... PinmemberMendor818-Oct-12 21:32 
JokeI don't understand my wife... Pinmemberihoecken7-Oct-12 23:01 
JokeRe: I don't understand my wife... [modified] PinmemberShameel8-Oct-12 1:51 
GeneralRe: I don't understand my wife... PinmemberMike Hankey8-Oct-12 12:52 
JokeBig titroubles... PinmemberJoan Murt7-Oct-12 22:56 
GeneralRe: Big titroubles... PinmemberJörgen Andersson8-Oct-12 0:48 
GeneralRe: Big titroubles... PinmemberJohnny J.8-Oct-12 2:02 
GeneralRe: Big titroubles... PinmemberMike Hankey8-Oct-12 12:55 
GeneralBlind man PinmemberJörgen Andersson6-Oct-12 10:03 
GeneralTherapy PinmemberJörgen Andersson6-Oct-12 10:00 
GeneralRe: Therapy Pinmemberhoernchenmeister7-Oct-12 23:35 
GeneralHalf-sister PinmemberJörgen Andersson6-Oct-12 9:58 
GeneralRe: Half-sister PinmemberRichard Deeming8-Oct-12 8:58 
JokeTickle me Elmo PinmemberJörgen Andersson6-Oct-12 9:49 
There is a factory in Essex which makes Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
 
Well, Shelley is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8am.
 
The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
 
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
 
At the end of the line stands Shelley surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
 
The two men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
 
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Shelley.
 
"I'm sorry" he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday... your job is to give Elmo 'two test tickles'".
Light moves faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright, until you hear them speak.
List of common misconceptions

GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo PinmemberMike Hankey6-Oct-12 20:51 
GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo PinmemberJörgen Andersson7-Oct-12 1:18 
GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo PinmemberMike Hankey7-Oct-12 3:49 
GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo Pinmemberihoecken7-Oct-12 23:13 
GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo Pinmemberhoernchenmeister7-Oct-12 23:38 
GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo PinmemberJörgen Andersson8-Oct-12 0:50 
GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo Pinmemberhoernchenmeister8-Oct-12 1:00 
GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo PinmemberJörgen Andersson8-Oct-12 1:15 
GeneralRe: Tickle me Elmo Pinmemberhoernchenmeister8-Oct-12 1:34 
JokeBeware of kids!! Pinmemberstib_markc4-Oct-12 23:07 
JokeDoctors' opinions on Universal Health Insurance PinmemberVivic4-Oct-12 21:32 
GeneralRe: Doctors' opinions on Universal Health Insurance PinmemberZac Greve5-Oct-12 5:52 
GeneralRe: Doctors' opinions on Universal Health Insurance Pinmemberkrumia6-Oct-12 20:48 
JokeGreat service PinmemberJoan Murt4-Oct-12 21:11 
JokeRe: Great service PinmvpManfred R. Bihy4-Oct-12 22:06 
JokeRe: Great service PinmemberJoan Murt4-Oct-12 22:15 
GeneralRe: Great service Pinmemberdjj555-Oct-12 1:02 
GeneralRe: Great service PinmemberShameel6-Oct-12 0:37 
JokeI'll be saving pennies from now on... PinmemberNaerling4-Oct-12 12:35 
JokeConfession PinmvpManfred R. Bihy4-Oct-12 22:08 
GeneralRe: Confession Pinmemberstib_markc4-Oct-12 23:10 
GeneralRe: Confession PinmemberGenJerDan5-Oct-12 3:17 
GeneralRe: Confession PinmemberJ4amieC5-Oct-12 3:34 
GeneralRe: Confession PinsitebuilderAndy Brummer5-Oct-12 7:21 
GeneralRe: Confession Pinmemberzenwalker19857-Oct-12 18:36 
GeneralRe: Confession PinmemberNaerling5-Oct-12 7:40 
GeneralA Question PinmemberVivic3-Oct-12 23:34 
GeneralRe: A Question PinmemberTorstenH.4-Oct-12 2:20 
GeneralRe: A Question PinmemberMarcus Kramer4-Oct-12 3:32 
JokeRe: A Question PinmemberJoan Murt4-Oct-12 6:17 
GeneralRe: A Question PinmemberTorstenH.4-Oct-12 20:48 
GeneralRe: A Question PinmemberJoan Murt4-Oct-12 21:13 
GeneralOn the care of large pachyderms PinmemberChris C-B3-Oct-12 23:22 
GeneralRe: On the care of large pachyderms PinmemberJoan Murt3-Oct-12 23:56 
JokeRe: On the care of large pachyderms Pinmemberdrolfson4-Oct-12 7:12 
JokeRe: On the care of large pachyderms PinmemberJoan Murt4-Oct-12 7:16 

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