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In hindsight, my Facebook post should probably have said "I've blown the head gasket on my 1998 Ford XR3" rather than "I've just f***ed a fourteen year old escort".
The police still haven't seen the funny side of it, and they've confiscated my laptop.
However, the news isn't all bad - the wife has gone to stay with her mother.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
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If it moves, compile it
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I was about to comment that your joke would work if they stopped making Ford Escorts less than 15 years ago.... but a quick check on Wikipedia reveals they made them until 2000!! I thought they replaced them with Orions or something...
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Well the joke is old, but adjusted to more modern times. Doesn't make it any worse though.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
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There is no such thing as "too funny".
Or atleast we haven't reached it yet.
I'm still waiting for Monty Pythons Funniest Joke in the World to be released.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
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tldr
Will read tonight after work.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
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Just ten people throughout the ages who have died of laughter, although they admit the last is urban myth.
One of them is very famous in the UK, and the clip he died laughing at is here[^].
It is The Goodies, which although far less well known shares the same origins as Monty Python, members of the two working together in various guises before each were formed.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
Shed Petition[ ^]
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ChrisElston wrote: the clip he died laughing at is here
Must have had a bad heart.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
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As I said, it is a famous incident in the UK, doctors recently did some tests on his daughter and concluded that he most likely did have a genetic heart complaint.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
Shed Petition[ ^]
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I will check out the Goodies though, they're unknown over here.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
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Jörgen Andersson wrote: I'm still waiting for Monty Pythons Funniest Joke in the World to be released.
They're an incredible bunch used to love watching them.
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Still love to watch them.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
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I haven't seen them here in the states for years. Don't know why they don't show them?
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I just got back from the battered women's shelter.
And boy are my arms tired.
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What do you say to a woman with a black eye?
Nothing. Bitch should have listened the first time.
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Answer: Nothing, she's already been told twice.
Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
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Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
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Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
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Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932
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A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her tiny breasts.
Dr Smith advised her, 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest and say,'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!'
She did this faithfully for several months!
She grew terrific D-cup boobs! One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.
Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus closed her eyes and said, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies.'
A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked 'Oh! Are you a patient of Dr. Smith's?'
'Yes I am.. How did you know?'
He, winked and whispered, 'Hickory dickory dock...'
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
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Now that's funny. +5
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...now I have to read the rest of the posts through a light brown film of coffee that now coveres my screen...
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He has one of these[^] to control an applause sign.
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