The Soapbox
The Soapbox allows you to stand up and have a rant, tell a bad joke, complain about someone or post stuff that that may not be appropriate for reading at work and/or isn't strictly IT industry related. It is rated M. Do not post anything offensive or which breaches the Terms of Use. Do not post programming questions (use the programming forums for that) and please don't post ads.
The SoapBox is not for flame wars, personal vendettas, or endless debate about climate change, religion and US politics. Anything inappropriate for this forum will be deleted immediately.
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So, 'Go elephant yourself' takes on a whole new meaning. 
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan." So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!" -- knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he gets up, tell him that's a crowbar from Sears".
It's an OO world.
public class Naerling : Lazy<Person>{
public void DoWork(){ throw new NotImplementedException(); }
}
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Bob Dole The internet is a great way to get on the net.
 2.0.82.7292 SP6a
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A female gynecologist retires and decides to pursue a hobby of hers: auto-tuning.
She gets into a motor repair course in her community college and finishes with an exam.
The community college sends her grades through mail and when she receives them she is very surprised:
-Out of one hundred points, one hundred and fifty? it must be a typo.
She calls the community college and asks for her teacher
-Mr. Shephard?
-Hi, Mrs. Jones, how can I help you?
-Well, I got my grades and it says that out of a 100 points I scored 150. It must be a typo!
-That's no typo!
-What do you mean?
-Mrs. Jones: do you remember the testing procedure? Theorical and Practical?
-Yes, Mr. Shephard, but I still don't get it.
-Well, we started with the theorical: describe how to take apart and put together a motor, you had 50 out of 50...
-... Ok?
-Then there was the practical: to actually take apart and put together a motor, again 50 out of 50.
-Ok, but what about the extra 50 points?
The teacher took a minute to answer:
-Maam, you did all that through the exhaust pipe.
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 (Yepp, I may be childish but it's funny to me!)
------------------------------
Author of Primary ROleplaying SysTem
How do I take my coffee? Black as midnight on a moonless night.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
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Same joke, but takes up decorating and paints the hallway through the letterbox.
'nuff said!
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Letter to 'Sinclair User' June 1984:
"AS A TEACHER and a Conservative supporter, I take exception to some of the remarks made in your April article, No Time For Complacency. I cannot speak for the present Government but I would like to put my views as briefly as I can.
The profligate spending of the last Socialist Government, or "Labour" as it calls itself, for some unknown reason, left this country in a very difficult financial position. The International Monetary Fund had refused to lend it any more money because of the extravagant way in which it was spent and the Socialists had to impose a freeze on spending which affected education and other services very severely.
It has cost practically all the revenue from North Sea oil to pay the interest on that debt and pay off some of the blank cheques left behind when they were put out of office in 1979. Under their Minister of Education, none other than Mrs Shirley Williams who was then a Socialist, we suffered equally from shortages of books and materials at a time when schools were full. She was too busy trying to impose comprehensive education on all and sundry to bother about such mundane things.
The present Government has put things back into perspective. You just cannot go on spending other people's money for ever, soaking the "rich" - who are usually not Labour supporters - to give to those they consider are the "poor" - who are usually good Labour party members, otherwise they do not exist - forever. What happens when there are no more "rich"?
I bought a 48K Spectrum last July after a long wait until I could afford one, as I wanted to assess its capabilities as a teaching machine, which I found to be limitless. I also wanted to keep one step ahead of the little horrors I teach and to be able to hold my own in discussions. As I find it a pleasant relief from work and politics, I did not welcome the intrusion of this in your otherwise excellent magazine. I shall, of course, continue to read it, despite all.
I cannot afford many things just now, like a daisywheel printer to go with my Tasword II and replace my 30-year-old typewriter; I shall buy one when I can afford it. The Government would dearly love to issue each school with two dozen computers and keep them up to date but there is the debt to pay and all manner of pressure groups demanding their share of public funds which are only just beginning to exist again."
We move in circles.
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I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
CCC Link[ ^]
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Socialists have very selective memories.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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