Maybe videogames are hazardous to our health -- just not in the way people usually think. Since the success of the Wii and its motion controllers, companies looking to cash in on the videogame fitness craze have concocted loads of accessories and controllers designed to get players jumping and flailing around the room.
It's all fun and games until somebody gets a Wiimote in the eye. Here are the game accessories we think have the greatest potential for damage.
10. Wi-Bowl(CTA Digital)
As if enough televisions haven't already been destroyed by overzealous Wii bowlers, here comes Wi-Bowl. According to the manufacturer, the accessory lets you "mimic all the critical motions a 'striking' performance requires" and is modeled after a real bowling ball. Though the company advises that you securely fasten the wrist strap, we have a nagging feeling the real feel of the bowling ball will cause some players to forget they're not at AMF Lanes and let go. (Watch out for Grandma's two-handed toss, too.)
9. Wii Boxing Gloves(Everlast)
These officially licensed gloves are meant to intensify your *Punch-Out!! *experience. But we worry that the padding on these gloves, which attach to the Wii remote and Nunchuk, will give people the idea that it's OK to punch their real-life opponents. The gloves come in black or red, the perfect colors to match your kid brother's shiny black eye.
*8. Tony Hawk: Ride Skateboard Controller(Activision, October 2009)
The new game in the popular skateboarding series will be the first to include an actual skateboard peripheral. This sounds like a great idea, but then again, isn't the whole point of skateboard games to avoid the injuries that real skateboarders endure? If you flip out on the board controller, you can get skinned knees and take crotch shots in the comfort of your own home. We're waiting for the YouTube videos of gamers grinding coffee tables and board-sliding down the basement staircase. (Not to mention some of our suggested games for the Ride board.)
- Dual Glow Sabers for Wii
(Dreamgear)
Yeah, like you're not going to be smashing these together while making wreeeoooow noises with your mouth.
6. The Wii Balance Board(Nintendo)
The Balance Board looks innocuous enough, but it asks players to perform physical feats they may not be used to. Games such as Wii Fit certainly test your balance with risky exercises like the one-legged yoga tree pose. EA Sports Active has you doing karate kicks while standing on the thing. Some personal trainers warn that the Balance Board can be dangerous if you don't know what you're doing and, like Wii Tennis elbow, some gamers have begun complaining about "Wii knee" from using the board too much.
5. Music Orchestra for Wii Music(Dreamgear)
This just makes our heads hurt, actually.
4. Bass Pro Shops Fishing Pole Peripheral(Griffin International, fall 2009)
In order to bring a realistic fishing experience to consoles, Griffin International decided that we needed controllers shaped like fishing poles. And just like in real-life, if you cast too vigorously with people nearby, there's a chance that your big catch of the day might be someone's nostril. Also, there's no strap on this one to keep your pole in place -- casters, take caution.
3. Wii 8-in-1 Weapons Bundle(Dragon)
OK, seriously? This bundle of Wii peripherals includes controller attachments in the shapes of swords, knives, axes, guns and, thankfully, a shield. Anyone who doesn't cringe just a little bit when they look at this should switch to playing Tetris for a while.
2. Project Natal(Microsoft, release TBD)
Project Natal isn't close to being released, but we can already envision all the injurious possibilities the advanced motion controller will present. Microsoft made fun of Wii's "pre-canned waggle gestures" at E3, but at least you don't run all around the room using the Wiimote. Natal seems like it will let players exert themselves in all sorts of ways, asking them to flail their limbs in different directions for certain games. Nintendo decided to sell a protective plastic condom that fits over the Wiimote; what will Microsoft make us wear when playing Natal?
1. The Wii Car-Lighter Adapter(Dragon)
Gaming in vehicles shouldn't be restricted to handheld devices. Why not bring your whole Wii? With the Wii car-lighter adapter, you can set up your console in the car, allowing passengers to play games on the road. Because we're sure swinging Wii remotes won't be a distraction to whoever's driving. Hell, why not live even more dangerously and bring along the Wii bowling ball?
Chris Kohler contributed to this story.
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