Click here to Skip to main content

Buzzword Bingo

RSS Feed RSS feed     

The Buzzword Bingo forum is a place to post examples of ludicrous, convoluted and meaningless buzzwords and marketing drivel dreamed up by those seeking to sound more important and meaningful than they actually are.

We are developers, which means our job is to simplify complicated and ill-expressed requirements in order to produce something elegant and useful. If you want to impress us then please just tell it to us straight. The less pre-processing we have to do the more we will be interested.

 
You must Sign In to use this message board.
Search this forum  
    Spacing  Noise  Layout  Per page  Show 
GeneralNative look and feelmemberSebastiaan Meijerink6 Mar '13 - 11:02 
The question what exactly defines "native look and feel" never gets awnsered
GeneralRe: Native look and feelmemberLloyd Atkinson6 Mar '13 - 11:22 
The default look of the operating system and or window manager/desktop environment.
=====
\ | /
 \|/
  |
  |-----|
  |     |
  |_    |
   _)   | /
   _)  __/_
   _)  ____
  |    /|
  |   / |
  |     |
  |-----|
  |
=====
 ===
  =

GeneralRe: Native look and feelmemberSebastiaan Meijerink7 Mar '13 - 8:43 
And thats often all I get to go on.
GeneralRe: Native look and feelmemberRavi Bhavnani2 Apr '13 - 11:39 
But that's exactly what it is!
 
/ravi
My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536
Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware
ravib(at)ravib(dot)com

GeneralRe: Native look and feelmembermikepwilson1 hr 43mins ago 
Last time I wrote front end stuff I recall OS producers having intensely complex style guides for "look and feel compliance."
 
Unless of course you're writing for Linux, in which case "native look and feel" means "throw a bunch of poorly aligned crap at the screen and say 'well its like, open source man, change it yourself' whenever anybody complains."
GeneralRe: Native look and feelgroupExcellentOrg16 Mar '13 - 4:16 
"Native Look" is Indian lookin' fella in Canada, Australia and USA
GeneralRe: Native look and feelprotectorPete O'Hanlon2 Apr '13 - 11:45 
It means that it won't get funny looks or racist comments if it goes out in your neighbourhood.
I was brought up to respect my elders. I don't respect many people nowadays.

CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

General"Meaningful Use"memberMathlab16 Jan '13 - 6:19 
If you've done some project that involved "Meaningful use". Your project manager,"Bless their heart", is such a "great" person.
GeneralMessage Removedmember_beauw_16 Jan '13 - 8:43 
Message Removed
GeneralRe: "Meaningful Use"memberEkaInfinitos1 Feb '13 - 7:21 
I've always been a fan of adding a touch of radioactive isotope so I can be sure the snake oil makes it into the patient. Unfortunately, I don't get to make decisions like that. I simply implement them.
GeneralBest SharePoint Conference Buzzword (MMTI)protectorAspDotNetDev15 Nov '12 - 20:09 
4, actually, used in sequence: "Managed Metadata Taxonomy Infrastructure".
 
I still haven't figured out what that means. D'Oh! | :doh:

GeneralRe: Best SharePoint Conference Buzzword (MMTI)memberdevvvy15 Nov '12 - 20:19 
it means you can safely disregard it
dev

AnswerRe: Best SharePoint Conference Buzzword (MMTI)memberZac Greve16 Nov '12 - 11:07 
Here[^] and Here[^] and Here[^] and Here[^].
I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.
Stephen Hawking

AnswerRe: Best SharePoint Conference Buzzword (MMTI)memberZac Greve16 Nov '12 - 11:50 
To further my previous reply:
 
Managed = .NET
 
Metadata = Data about data
 
Taxonomy = Division into ordered groups or categories
 
Infrastructure = Framework
I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.
Stephen Hawking

GeneralRe: Best SharePoint Conference Buzzword (MMTI)memberPaul Conrad1 Dec '12 - 19:13 
Thumbs Up | :thumbsup:
"Any sort of work in VB6 is bound to provide several WTF moments." - Christian Graus

GeneralRe: Best SharePoint Conference Buzzword (MMTI)memberZac Greve1 Dec '12 - 20:08 
It still doesn't really make sense, though. Frown | :(

Bob Dole
The internet is a great way to get on the net.

D'Oh! | :doh: 2.0.82.7292 SP6a

GeneralRe: Best SharePoint Conference Buzzword (MMTI)memberPaul Conrad2 Dec '12 - 6:59 
I think most buzzwords when chained together are not supposed to really make sense Laugh | :laugh:
"Any sort of work in VB6 is bound to provide several WTF moments." - Christian Graus

GeneralRe: Best SharePoint Conference Buzzword (MMTI)memberZac Greve2 Dec '12 - 10:42 
Thumbs Up | :thumbsup:

Bob Dole
The internet is a great way to get on the net.

D'Oh! | :doh: 2.0.82.7292 SP6a

GeneralRe: Best SharePoint Conference Buzzword (MMTI)memberihoecken26 Feb '13 - 5:14 
Zac Greve wrote:
Managed = .NET

In this case thats wrong.
 
Managed = You can define them centrally for the farm
------------------------------
Author of Primary ROleplaying SysTem
 
How do I take my coffee? Black as midnight on a moonless night.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

GeneralDilbertmemberryanb3131 Aug '12 - 8:25 
http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2012-08-28/[^] This takes the cake. Smile | :)
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

General"Intrapeneur"memberEddy Vluggen14 Aug '12 - 3:41 
Someone who starts a subsidiary; owner of a company within a company.
Bastard Programmer from Hell Suspicious | :suss:
if you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]

General"Engaging"memberSimon_Whitehead15 Jul '12 - 17:39 
"Engaging" is a buzzword for the Marketing people around me. "It needs to be engaging"... okay, so, explain what you mean by "engaging".
 
..their definition changes every time I ask them to define "engaging".. and believe me, they like to throw that word around a lot.
If you don't succeed, redefine success!

GeneralRe: "Engaging"memberCDP180217 Jul '12 - 5:14 
'Engaging' used to mean to me that the fire control officer had selected a green dot on a radar and that we were going to point radars at the plane that caused the dot and prepared to launch a missile at it.
At least artificial intelligence already is superior to natural stupidity


GeneralRe: "Engaging"memberRobCroll17 Jul '12 - 22:06 
It means anything but informative: annoying, irritating, embarrassing, deceitful, rude, stupid... but it's a little more than that.
Basically it means to stand out from the other annoying, irritating, embarrassing, deceitful, rude, stupid... adverts.
"You get that on the big jobs."

GeneralRe: "Engaging"memberNagy Vilmos18 Jul '12 - 0:29 
So you mean kind of like "We need to make this so Apple like, the whole world will be interested"?


Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H
OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre
I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer
Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

GeneralRe: "Engaging"memberRobCroll18 Jul '12 - 2:21 
It's more about capturing someones attention rather than their interest. The "free set of steak knifes" approach. Once viewers are aware, they move on to the next con job.
 
When I left that industry, time shifting was a big deal in TV. Make sure your target demographic(s) see the ad x number of times and then as they fast-forward through pre-recorded programming, the ad still "engages" them subliminally.
 
They got software that does that but it's based on ratings. Ratings are provided by the networks and naturally bias.
"You get that on the big jobs."

GeneralRe: "Engaging"memberloctrice24 Jul '12 - 2:10 
iGaging?
If it moves, compile it

GeneralRe: "Engaging"groupExcellentOrg16 Mar '13 - 4:20 
@RobCroll, 100% spot on and 100% engaging !!!
GeneralRe: "Engaging"memberApril Fans27 Dec '12 - 19:02 
Well it also depends on what the scenario is..
 
Engaging means like what my peer said - to stand out, to basically be able to captivate the audience. But then again, if you're on the (USS) Starship Enterprise and are fighting against the Romulan Empire - I highly doubt this version of engaging will be helpful.
Projects I'm working on:
 
Live Support

GeneralI have been waiting for this one a long time:memberCDP18029 Jul '12 - 1:17 
It actually is not even a word, more a 'buzz syllable': App
 
'App' is very similar to the sound I make when punched with a fist, but obviously some marketing guys came to the conclusion that we all are only able to communicate with grunts and would not understand anything with more than one syllable. Anyway, I wonder how popular this 'word' is going to be when the gold rush finally is over.
At least artificial intelligence already is superior to natural stupidity


GeneralRe: I have been waiting for this one a long time:memberRichard Andrew x649 Jul '12 - 6:59 
Couldn't agree more. I hate the syllable. Especially its pervasive use in so-called technical documentation such as the MSDN Library.

 

The difficult we do right away...
...the impossible takes slightly longer.

GeneralRe: I have been waiting for this one a long time:memberBernhard Hiller15 Jul '12 - 23:49 
You are right. I do not like that 'Äpp' crap either.
GeneralRe: I have been waiting for this one a long time:memberCDP180216 Jul '12 - 8:26 
Cräpp Smile | :)
At least artificial intelligence already is superior to natural stupidity


GeneralRe: I have been waiting for this one a long time:memberryanb3119 Jul '12 - 9:32 
I had a friend approach me because he knows I program and he said he wanted to get into making apps. Smile | :)
 
Actually, I think a lot of people that use that term are actually referring to mobile applications.
 
But ya, I can build apps.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

GeneralExotropic Mind... does it mean your brain is "squint"?memberorsobrown25 May '12 - 4:16 
Browsing around I've found this:
http://www.fabiomarchesi.com/files/premesse_metodo_exotropic_mind_10_dal_libro.pdf[^]
 
it's some kind of esoteric method (Italian language); using it, you could supposedly become happy.
 
But the funniest thing is: I googled up for "Exotropic" and I've found
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exotropia[^]
 
So, if you use it you could become "exotropic"?
 
Now, isn't this buzzword worthy of this Hall of Shame? Smile | :)
GeneralStart Delivering Value TodayprotectorAspDotNetDev10 May '12 - 13:01 
Some people at my company are considering Liferay as a possible replacement for SharePoint and Umbraco. Wanting to learn more about it, I came across that page, and here are a few nuggets I found:
 
Quote:
Liferay Portal is an enterprise web platform for building business solutions that deliver immediate results and long-term value.

 
I know I like "long-term value" and "immediate results" when "building business solutions". Sounds like a useful "enterprise web platform".
 
Quote:
Start Delivering Value Today

 
Why, just the other day I was talking about delivering value. I can't wait! Roll eyes | :rolleyes:

GeneralRe: Start Delivering Value TodaymemberMike Winiberg10 May '12 - 20:41 
Are you sure that isn't a Microsoft product? I've a shelf full of brochures here, produced by MS, all supposedly about their products (Sharepoint, Exchange, W2K8 and - more particularly - the various pre-packaged combinations of such that they sell as Small Business Server or similar.
 
I've complained bitterly to them in the past about these materials, because they consist of endless streams of business buzz-words and jargon, padded out with phrases that sound like badly constructed "mission statements".
 
The one thing these publicity materials do not do, is tell you what the product does and why you might want to use it - as a long-time MS partner and reseller, if I cannot make out what a product actually is for from its own publicity materials, what chance have I got of selling to anyone else.
GeneralRe: Start Delivering Value Todaymemberjsc4211 May '12 - 2:34 
At least it doesn't move to the right the paradigm shift that leverages the underlying synergy
GeneralRe: Start Delivering Value TodaymemberPSU Steve11 May '12 - 3:23 
The fact that the product is used by the all-powerful French Ministry of Defense does not exude confidence... Wink | ;)
GeneralRe: Start Delivering Value Todaymemberely_bob11 May '12 - 3:49 
IDK, Liferay just seems like it is going to have a lot of maintenance issues... unless your company is very good about restricting which bits of the open source project your developers work on... and then there are still things like reporting capabilities, mobile phone access.. cloud access.. that you get from sharepoint...???

I'd blame it on the Brain farts.. But let's be honest, it really is more like a Methane factory between my ears some days then it is anything else...

-----

"The conversations he was having with himself were becoming ominous."-.. On the radio...




GeneralBrogrammermemberjeron127 Apr '12 - 5:37 
Just saw this in the Lounge, it's the first time I've heard this and it's already making me shudder.
GeneralRe: BrogrammermemberZac Greve27 Apr '12 - 8:55 
Same.
 
*Shudders*
All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year. Not all bits have equal value.
Carl Sagan

GeneralBuzzword GuruprotectorAspDotNetDev21 Mar '12 - 21:55 
I believe "predictioneering" is a Golden Guru exclusive.

GeneralRe: Buzzword GurumemberDanny Martin27 Mar '12 - 3:08 
I'm predictioneerialising that it's possibly not a mathematical science at all eh? Big Grin | :-D
 
Danny
GeneralRe: Buzzword GurumemberNagy Vilmos27 Mar '12 - 6:14 
J. Gryphon Shafer
Founder, Guru-in-Chief
 
Gryphon is a serial entrepreneur and multi-decade veteran of the information technology industry.

 
Wow Mr Shafter [fixed that spelling mistake]! How did you get your head so far up your own arse?


Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H
OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre
I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer
Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

GeneralRe: Buzzword GurumemberRobCroll27 Mar '12 - 11:31 
Deciphering that actually means Shafer has failed more than once in business and has been using a computer for a little over 2 years.
 
This guy sounds like he should give up trying to con people, he's too stupid.
"You get that on the big jobs."

GeneralRe: Buzzword Gurumemberriced28 Apr '12 - 4:43 
Perhaps he's a Peter Drucker guru:
“I have been saying for many years,” Drucker once remarked, “that we are using the word ‘guru’ only because ‘charlatan’ is too long to fit into a headline.”
Regards
David R
---------------------------------------------------------------
"Every program eventually becomes rococo, and then rubble." - Alan Perlis
The only valid measurement of code quality: WTFs/minute.

GeneralWhen Looking For Work ..memberChris Meech31 Jan '12 - 2:37 
Not to belittle a guy's attempt to find work, but if having to promote yourself in the following manner is the new norm, then heaven help us.
 
"(I'm an) analytical thinker and creative problem solver who effectively collaborates with multifunctional high-performance teams.”
Chris Meech
I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar]
 
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra]
 
posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

GeneralRe: When Looking For Work ..memberRobCroll31 Jan '12 - 11:15 
Don't hire him, He'll end up becoming the CEO.
"You get that on the big jobs."

General"we're bringing in a tiger team of hired guns to get this delivered to the customer"memberBrian C Hart12 Jan '12 - 11:04 
A small business recently told me this as why they weren't hiring right now. Roll eyes | :rolleyes:
Sincerely Yours,
Brian Hart

General General    News News    Suggestion Suggestion    Question Question    Bug Bug    Answer Answer    Joke Joke    Rant Rant    Admin Admin   


Advertise | Privacy | Mobile
Web01 | 2.6.130516.1 | Last Updated 21 May 2013
Copyright © CodeProject, 1999-2013
All Rights Reserved. Terms of Use
Layout: fixed | fluid