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I write in this staccato,
bastardized XML style,
because a kazillion
mugs of Starbucks
and decades of conversing
mainly with computers, fused this style
into my neural pathways.
I can hardly communicate
properly with humans nowadays.
Maybe you think to shoot me
is the only merciful thing to do?
You will have to wait in line with your gun.
And it is a very long line.
So who's to blame for this brain damage?
Like all good people, I always blame
external factors for my character
flaws and shortcomings, specifically:
Society: For creating a high tech environment
where the techno-nerds are king, and where
the high school jocks who had all the
pretty girls chasing after them,
into the grey nothingness of mediocrity.
Society is to blame because it forced me
to compensate for my lack of jockiness
by focusing on my only talent:
A modest grasp of science.
I ended up talking mainly to computers,
and not humans, for decades.
Microsoft I blame for perpetuating this terse,
staccato coding style for communicating with computers.
First there was MS Assembler, then plain old C,
then C++, then the visual versions,
ending with C# (for the moment).
Having communicated this way
for almost 100,000 hours over more than 4 decades,
I can no longer break this habit.
(I just had to blame Microsoft for something - anything -
it is the American Way.)
What's going to become of me?
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