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Next: Microsoft announces "Microsoft Office VR: More expensive crap you can waste your money on."
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So, priorities:
0. Icons
1. Ridiculous headsets that no-one wants (except for playing games) and that no-one will ever use for just doing their job.
....
....
24,387,982. Fix bugs
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Officials with the widely used PHP Extension and Application Repository have temporarily shut down most of their website and are urging users to inspect their systems after discovering hackers replaced the main package manager with a malicious one. The joys of centralized package managers, part way-too-many
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Well, at least the windows app store is safe.
... For the same reason that Linux has historically been safer than windows -- given its number of users, it ain't worth using as a vector.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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The European Union’s Copyright Directive has led a tortured life, even by the standards of EU law. They usually get everything working so smoothly with their legislation
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Something else we can blame Italian politicians for! 
As usual, what they're trying to do is right (for people, not corporations), but sorting out the minutiae is a bigger task than deciding what to do.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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The impact occurred just moments after totality began — the moment when the last bit of Moon slipped into the deeper part of Earth's shadow. Are we sure it wasn't Moonbase Alpha blowing up?
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I thought this article would be interesting until I found out that asteroid isn't just a more vulgar term for hemorrhoid.
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I told the NSA that all it would take is one little lag in the temperature regulation of their top secret server farm, and the whole thing would go kablooey, but they didn't listen!
And it turns out that an eclipse is one massive temperature-change too many.
I love to say "I told you so!"; I find it so satisfying.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Wine 4.0 released with Vulkan, Direct3D support among other features "Good company, good wine, good welcome, can make good people."
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More accurately, "Direct3d 12 support". 
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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So they've been working on wine since 1994. Here we are, almost 25 years later, and they STILL struggle to get anything meaningful to run on it. By "meaningful", I'm not talking about games. Even before they (Microslop) switched the interface to WPF, Visual Studio wasn't running successfully on Wine. Today, more than 10 years after WPF hit the streets, you still can't run a WPF app in Wine (that I'm aware of).
Sorry, but I'm tired of waiting...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Security researchers across the globe united in a project dedicated to sharing URLs used in malicious campaigns managed to take down close to 100,000 websites actively engaged in malware distribution. "Say we can, say we will. Not just another drop in the ocean "
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For the sake of all that is OCD, that should have been 256 researchers.
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255 - indexed by zero...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Mmm. Except they aren't given a serial #, they're counted. Therefore 'zero-index' as a concept here is broken.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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enhzflep wrote: Except they aren't given a serial #, they're counted.
Like birthdays, you mean.
OK, so you can tell your girlfriend/wife that she's a year older than she says, but I'm sticking to the convention.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I do.
We've actually laughed about that. She's not so insecure as to dispute the truth...
My cards always wish her well for turning X years old, not for having her Nth birthday.
Unconventional? Sure. That's about how strange most people seem to us, too.
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You're a better man than I, Gunga Din!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Ha!
(TMI? follows)
The first time I encountered the trope that emerged from that poem was in Penthouse or Playboy or similar as a cartoon and a teenager. In retrospect, it was probably a reasonably accurate portrayal of the poem's subject.
Unfortunately however, Gunga Din's water vessel was a large gourd, which, owing to the angle appeared to be a rather substantial piece of male machinery. Hence Gunga appears to have the old fella out filling someone's cup/bowl. "You're a better man than I, Gunga Din" 
Perhaps today'll be the first time I read it from start to finish. Cheers!
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I want to work for these people. Seriously.
Doing something to prevent scum abusing users of the internet is an extremely worthy task, so kudos to all who do so.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Malware distributors say thankyou for providing a list of hosting providers who're slow enough in responding to abuse complaints that keeping their networks running will be trivial. 
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, weighing all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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I should send them my HOSTS file so they can nail some they might have missed.
"They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers! Can I get an amen?"
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How many ad blocks could an ad slinger block if an ad slinger could block blocks? [strike]Don't[/strike] be evil
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Wow, just wow.
Lost count of the number of times I read sunshine in the comments section. Admittedly, it was part of every comment's title, but still.. Rather refreshing to see what appears to an unmoderated comments section on a non-invisible website. That was fun, thanks. 
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