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I've been in NL for about 18 years, but I still haven't reached what I would call a level of competency with Dutch.
Almost no-one spoke English in Italy, when I moved there, so I was jabbering away in it within three months.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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5 for the JSOP reference. 
I actually used the "pick an old project" technique to learn WPF.
The WinForms version (that I used to learn C#/.Net) - Anagrams - A Word Game in C#[^]
The WPF version - Anagrams2 - A Simple WPF Game Application[^]
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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1. get a client who requires you to use it, pays cash, has unlimited funds, and will have no problem if your length of employment is indefinite.
2. get hired to teach a course in it.
3. get a "Dummies," or, "... in 24 hours" book, read it, write a few articles barely disguising your plagiarism, and publish them on some anything-goes web-site: then market yourself as a consultant.
"get the money and the knowledge will come"
«Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?» T. S. Elliot
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One of the last places I would go for programming advice is Forbes.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Just claim you know it and become a DevOps person, since DevOps apparently fixes everything.
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That varied between common-sense and nonsense.
Suggesting that we should use similar techniques to the ones we use to learn natural languages is just insane. The two are not similar at all.
"If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough."
Alan Kay.
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A report from job site Freelancer highlights an uncharacteristic decline in the number of developer-related careers. We're doomed! Quick, time to retrain as a steam engine repairman.
Of course, the rise in "Coder Ninja", "Dev Guru", and similar probably offset the decrease.
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Gawd!
I took a look at the freelancer site, and I think I can safely say that the stuff they handle is not representative of the market in general.
E.g. under the "C# Programming" tag, we have:
Hello Friend I have already fetched records I only need you to display those records in [login to view URL] grid in parent child view. Only the best need apply, though, because it pays top rate: four US dollars an hour!
And the following is listed with the "Software Architecture" tag:
I Have Api Calls That Create Acounts And Need Some Help Understanding Them And Setting Them up It pays USD130.
Or, if you're a website designer, you can get USD26 for:
i need you to transfer a domain after pur-chase
Should we take their report seriously, or just have a laugh at some of the silly requests for work on the site?
I know which option I'd choose.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I was going to say, "Freelancer"? Yeah, *their* developer jobs may be in decline.
Charlie Gilley
<italic>Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape...
"Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
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A new “structural battery” prototype incorporates a cartilage-like material to make the batteries highly durable and easy to shape, researchers report. Today in gristly news
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Am I too late to patent the idea of making bulletproof phones?
I'd make a killing, in the States!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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In the US, you can make a bigger killing by making guns that look like phones.
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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Great idea!
They'd be really popular with the police, who could then say "I shot the teenager 36 times, reloading twice, because he was holding a phone that might have been a gun", and not even be prosecuted for it!
Mind you, I doubt that they'd sell at all, because of that -- not that that would stop the police making that claim.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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There isn't one stool to rule them all, but some are clearly better than others. Because stuff happens
OK, not technology that most of us work with (other than management), but added due to the huge steaming pile o' puns in the article
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I think it's all a big joke, based on a drunken bet between two doctors on who could make the most money out of selling actual human sh1t.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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That's definitely not a greenfield-development (in both senses).
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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Thunkable gives noncoders the ability to create professional-grade mobile apps. To some level of "professional-grade"
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Oh whoop-di-doo.
The play store will be flooded with millions upon millions of "read my tweets!" apps, "watch my cat!" apps, "This game has been made a million times, but this one has a different shade of yellow in the background!" apps, and other apps at the same incredibly high creative level.
I can't wait.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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There must be a new definition associated with the phrase "professional grade" of which I'm not yet aware...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Google’s Jigsaw unit published a quiz that tests users’ abilities to identify phishing emails. The quiz tests you on a series of emails to see if you can distinguish telltale signs of phishing. So... I'm not getting $3million?
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Do you receive the test via email?
"I can name that tune in one note."
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Sounds like a serious research project.
... With the aim of finding out the most effective ways of conning people out of personal information.
"Do no evil", my @rse.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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They accidentally sent it to me. I'll give you half if you send me your bank info and a small security deposit.
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