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My favorites are the "Windows' Help Desk" ones. It's fun to string them along and then ask what IP address they are getting messages from my machine from. "Hey, YOU called me about this so you should know what my IP address is."
Then I get to tell them I'm on a Mac. My public service, keeping these bozos on the line with me keeps them from scamming other people.
I’ve given up trying to be calm. However, I am open to feeling slightly less agitated.
I’m begging you for the benefit of everyone, don’t be STUPID.
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I had one of those once who gave the usual garbage about my computer showing up as something. So I asked him which computer he meant:
Scammer: "the Windows one"
Me: "Yes, but which one, I have a number"
Scammer: "The one nearest to you"
Me: "Ha, ha, not only are you a liar, but you are also very stupid"
Scammer (getting angry): "Don't talk to me like that, I am going to disconnect you from the internet"
Me: "Good luck, dude". and hung up.
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If I have time and am feeling bored I employ the tactics below:
If they are trying to sell a service, usually insurance cover for electronic equipment, I go through the whole process giving nonsense answers to all questions and agreeing to purchase the most expensive option they offer me and when we get to bank/card details, I explain I don't trust banks and don't have an account, but if they send me a bill in the post, I'll pay it at the post office. Not received one yet ...
As an alternative, explain you can't pay yet but will be able to so very soon as you have just used all your available money to facilitate your £32M inheritance from a Nigerian prince.
If they are trying to get access to my PC, then I act as if I am using a Vic 20.
"Please click the [whatever] icon."
"Sorry, what's an icon?"
"Tell me what you can see on the screen"
"Commodore Basic V2. 3,583 bytes free. Ready."
This is usually so far off their script I get transferred to the "supervisor".
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I simply don't answer calls from unrecognized numbers. If it's important, they can leave a VM, though I sometimes do a search on the number afterwards to see if it belongs to a business that I've dealt with.
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Most of the time I do that too, but I was expecting a doctor's office call. Soooo ya know, living on the edge.
Jeremy Falcon
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since "WE" got 13 party telephone after years of waiting, I still have an issue with people almost running when phone rings...
that attitude is now with a twist
I am talking to a stranger ,we are both enjoining our morning java and he / she cannot take his /hers eyes off the i-phone
...and if that is not rude , I give up being friendly...
ah yes, I used to work for a company who made the telemarketing equipment -
you got ONE more reason to flame me...'
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When I get such robo calls, I chant Sanskrit verses, and the caller gets bored and hangs up. Can recite Sanskrit verses from memory continuously for more than an hour.
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Am not sure that is a good idea as it may be a possibility robo-callers may also be attempting to harvest voice for artificial re-generation which is why I never say more than "hello".
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Had never thought about this. Maybe I should use a squeaky voice henceforth.
One more thing:
Once someone unknown sent a message on WhatsApp saying we have a job offer.
I replied - "I had applied back in 1996 and you have replied after 28 years. Was waiting all along for your message, where were you? And what breakfast did you have today? Have you had your coffee?"
The other side went silent.
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Amarnath S wrote: I had applied back in 1996 and you have replied after 28 years. Was waiting all along for your message, where were you?
That's pretty good, I'll have to remember that one.
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There was a time where I got multiple spam calls a day, mostly phone and internet providers or gas and electricity companies.
One day I got another call and I was fed up.
"Hello, this is [name] from company [company name]. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"
And I kind of lost my sh*t and said something along the lines of "YES! I DO MIND! You ing marketeers have been bugging me daily! ing stop it already! I don't want to answer questions, I don't want to talk to you and I don't want to buy your ing product! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IF I CALLED YOU EVERY DAY ON YOUR PRIVATE PHONE!? "
"But sir... You're already a customer and we simply had some questions about our service..."
Turned out to be my current phone, TV and internet provider who actually gave me pretty good service
Luckily, she knew how I felt and we could laugh about it
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Jeremy Falcon wrote: Especially when home dude needs to pull the stick out? When it's a human on the other end on the rare occasion I answer the phone for an unrecognized number, I feel no compunctions about abusing them. It's childish, but I've reached an age [cue irony] where the simple pleasures can be few and far between.
Especially on those days when it's a very, very, large stick. Think utility pole.
Software Zen: delete this;
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Gary Wheeler wrote: I feel no compunctions about abusing them Not sure if you mean I was abusing him or he was abusing me. But, it's not abusive to tell someone nobody likes unsolicited calls. It's also not abusive to to ask someone why they're arguing. What's abusive is the bozo getting upset, and thus I hung up on him.
IMO the problem with society is we're so over emotional and weak that direct conversation seems aggressive. But, IMO it takes more respect to respect people's time and understanding of the situation by telling it like it is.
That being said, there are two types of people. Those that will just take it "when someone treats them wrong" and those who won't. I'm not the former.
Jeremy Falcon
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Jeremy Falcon wrote: Not sure if you mean I was abusing him or he was abusing me I was referring to me abusing them .Jeremy Falcon wrote: Those that will just take it "when someone treats them wrong" and those who won't. My transition from the former to the latter largely explains my pending divorce .
Software Zen: delete this;
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Thanks Jeremy . It's been a long time coming, but I'm happy I started it and I'm doing well. Good family, good friends, and good therapy make all the difference.
Software Zen: delete this;
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I bought my first flip phone when working out of town in Los Alamos
I did not realize you get the Area Code for the State you buy the phone in
So back in Ohio a friend gave me a Galaxy S5 used for development at American Express
kept the flip phone number. Moved to Arizona opened a Bank Account being naive gave
them my email & phone number I quickly discovered my Credit Card had my phone number
attached And then the spam phone calls started got a new Credit Card with no email or
phone number attached it took Chase 2 days to figure out how to do that ha ha
Spam calls decreased to a trickle NOW when I am asked for my phone number or email
I proudly reply NO COMPUTER and NO PHONE and if pushed I use the White House
Phone number and my first ISP email address Don@ezo.net they went out of
business years ago. The most fun ever was at Home Depot I had purchased $500.00 of
Milwaukee Woodworking tools and they offed me $100.00 discount if I opened a Home Depot
credit card SURE it took them 90 min to figure out how to give me the credit card
with NO Phone Number or email address What amazed me the most was by accident I gave
them the wrong SS number GOT the card and the discount
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Choroid wrote: when I am asked for my phone number or email
I proudly reply NO COMPUTER and NO PHONE and if pushed I use the White House
Phone number That's brilliant.
Jeremy Falcon
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Jeremy Falcon wrote: I'm not arguing with you.
Look, this isn't an argument; it's just contradiction.
Did you pay for the five minute argument, or the full half-hour?
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Richard Deeming wrote: Did you pay for the five minute argument, or the full half-hour? Just the 5 minute... inflation.
Jeremy Falcon
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As you may have guessed from the subject, today is International Cat Day.
So if you know any international cats, buy them a mouse!
[edit]
Having just typed that, in comes the soggiest cat I've seen in a long time, and sits on my keyboard ... how the heck do they manage to retain so much water in tiny paws and leak it out on demand?
[/edit]
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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"You're on Guard"
GCS/GE d--(d) s-/+ a C+++ U+++ P-- L+@ E-- W+++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- r+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
The shortest horror story: On Error Resume Next
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OriginalGriff wrote: international cats Does the Burmese across the street that comes to play with our DSH (and eat his food) count?
Software rusts. Simon Stephenson, ca 1994. So does this signature. me, 2012
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Only if there is a date line down the center of the road.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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