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Being smarter than your peers has it's downside. Breezing through school with zero effort encourages a lack of discipline, which can come back to bite you later in life. I hit my 'brick wall' half way through A-Levels. My school explained that I wasn't making best use of my time - i.e. they asked me to leave! I'll spare you the life history, but I spent 4 years working in a factory before landing myself on a TOPS Computer Programming course and discovering that it was something I loved and had a knack for.
The course I took, taught Basic and COBOL (this was a long time ago!) and this worked really well:
- Basic introduced the concepts of programming, without needing to learn complex grammar/syntax. And delivered quick results.
- COBOL introduced the more formal aspects of programming. Which is necessary if you are hoping to do it in the real world.
I'm not suggesting you should learn either of the above. But what, I think, you should do is start with a very easy language, (and I don't count C# as one), which provides very few barriers to getting a result. If you are getting quick/easy results, you are more likely to persist. You will also, quickly discover, if you have the knack/have caught the bug.
I will defer to younger loungers to suggest a first programming language, as I suspect things have moved on in the last 40 years. If pushed I would go with PHP or Python. And if you are looking for free online courses, I have found CodeCademy is a good option:
Codecademy[^]
Good luck.
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Programming is simple. Keep it that way.
Take a look at the K&R C and consider[^] how simple it was.
But, everyone makes it complicated.
Here's the first program from that book:
#include <stdio.h>
main()
{
printf("hello, world\n");
}
Learn what each line means and you understand programming.
But, it's even easier now.
1. Open a browser.
2. Press F12
3. you should see the dev console
4. Type console.log("hello, world"); and press <enter>
You're programming. Now, just keep adding to that and see what you get.
It's really not complicated. You can learn, one line at a time and when you put a bunch of lines together you may have something. Celebrate what you can do, not what you can't. 
modified 19-Aug-20 10:05am.
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Bills advice on exercise is spot on. It will help clear your mind, ease your depression. Many here have good advice.
Find what makes you happy, don't let your mind dwell on your miseries, it won't change things.
Your life largely is a product of your thoughts and the actions they bring. Miserable thoughts bring more misery, happy/optimistic thoughts bring good things. See yourself in a new light with some determined focus. Don't believe everything your mind is telling you. It is often wrong. Be a critical observer of your thoughts. Look to your good future. Believe in yourself, in your capacity to forge a life you want. Take action.
It is difficult to change your world view but worth the effort.
A favorite quote of mine is from Dr. Wayne Dyer,
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
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The Rite of Teletubbies
Caveat Emptor.
"Progress doesn't come from early risers – progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things." Lazarus Long
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Everything the religious right claimed about them is true! Homosexual demon spawn indoctrinating our children while still in the cradle.
Evil pagan rituals and than final joyful jump back down a pit to return to hell !
Save us Barney[^], Save us !
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
modified 18-Aug-20 12:08pm.
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You are weird. 
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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MarkTJohnson wrote: Not really Barney is someone you'd want help from
He seems to be doing very well for himself.
Note to self: $350/session? My Mrs. owes me a fortune.
| Ravings en masse^ |
|---|
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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I would have looked if it was the Last Rites of Teletubbies.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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Aargh!!! The burning baby face!
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Never stop dreaming - Freddie Kruger
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Well, that music DID cause a riot the first time it was performed publicly.
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LOL. I wonder what Stravinsky would have thought.
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The government has announced it is phasing out Roman Numerals. Not on my watch …
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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"The metric system is conquering Britain, inch by inch."
OMG I've been waiting for this opportunity for 15 years!
"If we don't change direction, we'll end up where we're going"
modified 18-Aug-20 14:06pm.
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No joke: I was taking herself to Hospital this morning- nothing serious - and there were road works, with warning signs:
"Roadworks 600 yards"
"Roadworks 400 yards"
"Roadworks 200 yards"
"Roadworks 100 yards" And I realized that I no longer have an "innate sense" of how long 100 yards is - a metre, yes. 100 metres, yes. A foot, yes. An inch? Maybe. But not a 100 yards. "Y miles" I can relate to, but not "Y Km". Strange but true.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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91 meters.
For all practical senses, when you're sitting in a car that is, you can substitute with meters.
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Never stop dreaming - Freddie Kruger
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A few years back I saw:
Quote: "Roadworks 500 yards"
"Roadworks 300 metres"
"Roadworks 200 metres"
"Roadworks 100 yards"
Just to show we can cope with everything - all at once!
My father went to a wood store and asked for a length of 2x6 to be cut to 4ft, 2.2cm - which they did precisely, without blinking an eye.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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My yard's 40 feet, east-to-west. Now you should have a handle on your perplexation.
Problem Solved.
| Ravings en masse^ |
|---|
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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What about your yard-sale?
"If we don't change direction, we'll end up where we're going"
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That's a lot to think about, but for now I think I'll keep it (at least until my peppers all ripen)>
There's no telling where I'll land up.
| Ravings en masse^ |
|---|
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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I LIVe for that, but with MIXed feelings.
Somehow relate to how I Coll-em-as_I_seum?
| Ravings en masse^ |
|---|
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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That doesn't make a LIC of sense, everyone should be LIVID!
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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I, for one, like Roman numerals
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Yeah like old fashion trends!
they will come back... 
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