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Comedian Jeff Allen has said that the 11th commandment is - "Happy wife, happy life!"
He also said you can either be right or you can be happy. I can tell you I'm a happy, happy man.
Kelly Herald
Software Developer
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You knew she was the Miss Right one when you asked her to marry you.
You just didn't know her first name was Always.
If you can't laugh at yourself - ask me and I will do it for you.
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The only winning move is not to play.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
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... except with yourself.
[boom-tish!]
Software Zen: delete this;
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Do felines not like online shopping because they prefer catalogues?
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Perhaps the purrfect pun? Cats can take things litter-ally.
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Damn! I wish you hadn't said that - I'd forgotten I didn't clean his litter trays this morning ... back shortly ...
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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A slipper.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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My mum had a foot. She's dead now. Thanks for reminding me!
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My mum slipped on a banana skin and died, so I find this joke incredibly offensive. Please don't make jokes about slippers.
Or bananas.
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Brother, is that you? 
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Probably best to stick to 'safe topics' - like politics and religion! 
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  Indeed.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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How dare you remind me of how I was regularly beaten with a slipper for talking at night in the dorm at boarding school.
(^this is true, pretty much proving that just by existing one offends others)
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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GuyThiebaut wrote: ^this is true, pretty much proving that just by existing one offends others)
Or likewise can be a reminder of good times. (you didn't specifically say if the memory was a bad one or not)
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Strangely enough, the corporal punishment at boarding school had little lasting effect.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Rubbish, have you seen the little buggers that the school system is turning out these days. Six cuts of the cane would do wonders for some of them (I also grew up in a boarding school). A little discipline mild sadism from the prefects was most effective in instilling respect.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity -
RAH
I'm old. I know stuff - JSOP
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I just checked, and not only is your "joke" highly offensive, it's also totally inaccurate.
I measured my slippers and both of them are 11.13 inches long, well short of a foot. And if they had a low coefficient of friction, they wouldn't work as slippers either.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Great, now I'm reminded that during discipline teaching, Dad's belt had a lower coefficient of friction with the surrounding air than the paddle. 
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3rd laugh out loud of the day, and counting.
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Obligatory Monty Python: "...and Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt."
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Based on the replies you can really tell we are a bunch of very logical thinkers here on CP. There is only 1 or 0.
Perks (or cons) of the job you could say.
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musefan wrote: There is only 1 or 0.
..and NULL.
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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My friend gave it to me when he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it. 
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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Message Closed
modified 29-May-20 8:20am.
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