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Woman goes into a lawyers office and says she wants to divorce her husband.
Lawyer asks her, "what are your grounds"
She says, "well, we have a small lot, I wouldn't call them 'grounds'".
Lawyer says, "well, does he beat you up?"
She says, "sometimes he does get up earlier than I, but I don't see how that matters."
Lawyer says, "Do you hold a grudge"
She says, "actually, it's a car port. Why are you asking me these questions?"
Finally, exasperated, the lawyer says, "WHY do you want a divorce?"
She says, "you just can't have a meaningful conversation with him."
I think they would need what is known in UK Prison equipment as a closeting chain - this is a long chain with a cuff at each end, which allows prisoners to use the toilet with the door closed - the chain is long enough to pass under the door, with the prisoner on one end, and a screw on the other
(Screw is UK prison slang for a prison officer - e.g. corrections officer/guard)
Transvestites - Roberts in Disguise!
It wasn’t hard for authorities to track down a North Side man accused of trying to rob one fast food restaurant and actually holding up another one on Broadway this week after they found his gym bag with his identification inside, police said.
Look at his picture, I doubt he noticed his gym bag was missing.
The staffer could not open the register without a making a sale, so she went to retrieve another staffer and Huston left on foot from the eatery without taking any money.
Ahhh, the old "To rob this place you need to buy something first" routine pays off again.
He was arrested outside a motel in the 6100 block of North Jersey Avenue after his parents told police that’s where he was.
His parents ratted him out!
Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce, served in a Provençale manner with shallots and aubergines, garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried egg on top and Spam - Monty Python Spam Sketch
Kudos to the parents. One wonders though if his parenting was lacking. Not that this is their fault.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein
It's important to note that this won't be an entirely comprehensive model of a bee's brain -- it's only going to be the parts associated with its sense of smell and vision. These modules will be melded with other software to form what the team call a " Green Brain", one that can react to new situations and improvise rapidly just like a "real" animal or insect brain.