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There's a small newsagents in Horsham that used to display spoof headlines on the billboard outside their shop. The one that really upset the local council was "Crawley Girl Gives Birth To Pitbull". In previous weeks there'd been a higher than normal media frenzy following a pitbull-like dog attack at a house in Crawley. A used oil rag of a councillor from Crawley complained to Horsham and since then, Horsham's town centre has been deprived of a tongue-in-cheek look at regional topics.
"I do not have to forgive my enemies, I have had them all shot." — Ramón Maria Narváez (1800-68).
"I don't need to shoot my enemies, I don't have any." - Me (2012).
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H
OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DDEthel Crudacre
I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer
Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett