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I can relate this this and it is possible to recover from these sorts of experiences.
I don't necessarily think that you are over-sensitive - I just think that life has a habit of sometimes putting things in our way that can harm us and spending 8 hours a day working with others is pretty much a guarantee that you are going to work with someone who may want to cause you harm or at least not care if they cause you harm.
What I found really helped me was CBT - in its most basic form it's a distraction technique and really helped me to deal with the habit of dwelling on bad work experiences from the past(it's not a magic cure but it's the best thing I have found so far to help with depression), in its more advanced form it's a tool for putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and changing your response to them.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
Not claiming it's as bad as working for psychos, but working for people who totally ignore your work and its contribution to the business and ignore your advice (when they even bother to ask for it) can be as demoralising in the long-term.
They complain that our web site isn't as 'wizzy' as the latest wiz apps online totally ignoring that it was built on Java Faces back when that was considered - by some (mainly @Oracle) to be all-singing-all-dancing, and purchased from a third party vendor.
And we don't have access to any Java development software or a Java compiler.
I try to contribute, I really do, but I'm losing the will to live.....
Work is another form of relationship. There have been a number of realisation for myself when watching some drama about "why does she/he not just leave she/he if they are so unhappy?" and think, wow my job is like that, why do I keep going in? And some similarities when long term couples see the surface level of another couple (job opportunity) and think wow, that looks like a great couple. Why are we not like that.
One caveat; just like any drug, some people just crave the adrenaline rush that goes with high-pressure work. (I lump the abusive bosses/constant pressure in the same category). Not sure I'm expressing what I'm thinking properly.
I'm not saying that's a good or healthy thing. I'm just saying some people get almost addicted to the stress.
I agree wholeheartedly with your sentiment, Marc. It's amazing what can be accomplished when an organization hires smart people and empowers them to do good things as an alternative philosophy.
In short, for less-experienced people: bad situations are not worth it. If you're in a situation where you hate getting out of bed in the morning, start looking.
Oh absolutely. My experience at work from 2010-2015 was consecutively horrible. I too had a psychopathic boss. My previous career from 1978-2009 was pretty comfortable. Just the usual project death marches and stuff.
It was so bad it left me shellshocked. It interfered with my interviewing for new jobs, caused me to ask questions that probably disqualified me as a candidate. I ended up retiring to write geeky books on C++ and experiment with all the software I never had time to try out when I was employed.
unfortunately, due to reorganization (layoffs) in my previous company i have been assigned to two different bosses.
one of them, my older boss, was trying to prove to the director that this new "thing" is not going to work, albeit in a passive way. without telling him directly, but by sabotaging my daily work, giving me instant assignments that confronted my current assignments from the new boss.
the new boss on the other had was a totalitarian psychopath who used to phone us on 20 minute basis to ask for progress, status, etc. in one word micromanagement at it's worst. he was also at high stress by this reorganization. the director also, everybody was taking some king of stress reducing pills. the place was falling apart.
during that period i have developed insomnia and a nervous tick i still can't get rid off, even that now i work in a beautiful stress free company. 3 years have passed since then.
one morning, after spending a sleepless nigh, i went angry to the directors office and said to him "you will assign me to only one boss, i don't care which one, or i will come to work but i'll stop working". he was afraid being caught on the radar by upper management so he complied. either that or he used me to the maximum and had to loosen up a little.
a few months later a left that IT job for an unqualified workers job as a electric meter reader. in the past 3 years 5 of my colleagues have left that IT firm voluntarily and another 5 were forced to leave. the rest of them, some of my best friends, are still battling high pressure.
the motto "stress increases productivity" is like mass hysteria. it doesn't leave the company once it's in, unless something huge breaks.
"When you are dead, you won't even know that you are dead. It's a pain only felt by others; same thing when you are stupid."
Ignorant - An individual without knowledge, but is willing to learn. Stupid - An individual without knowledge and is incapable of learning. Idiot - An individual without knowledge and allows social media to do the thinking for them.