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Flat rate == rent for an apartment, room, flat, house, ...
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
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Yeah that’s the bit I got. Is that it? Thought the one charging had something to do with it
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Well ... the one charging the rent is the LANDLORD ... 
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
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Swear you’ve posted this before but I’m shot at searching
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I just checked my list and it's only in there the once - so no, this is the first time I've posted it.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
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It was obvious enough that even I got it, and I'm next to useless at these.
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Yesterday my SO thought she spotted a cockroach in the kitchen. She sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly.
Today I'm putting it in the bathroom!
I'm hiding from exercise...I'm in the fitness protection program.
JaxCoder.com
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So you're the cockroach king, aren't you?
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I have a wide variety of critters. 
I'm hiding from exercise...I'm in the fitness protection program.
JaxCoder.com
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Put it in the frying pan and cook it well to make sure that all of the insides are well done. Then pour a garlic-butter sauce on top. Crunchy with a well done soft inside. Better than escargot.
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Yeah, the crunchy bits of escargot are awful!
Software rusts. Simon Stephenson, ca 1994. So does this signature. me, 2012
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In that case, cook it up with spicy sauce and suck the innards out like eating a New Orleans crawfish.
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... That something that is 2m out of place is not "just over there", it's Lost!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
modified 10-Apr-20 2:31am.
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Herself is the same: when she is finished using something, she puts it down. And that's it - whatever it was remains where she last used it. So if my pliers are missing, they could be in the greenhouse (last used to pull up something prickly), the shed (last used as a hammer), the bedroom (last used as a paperweight), the kitchen (fish bones), the bathroom (I didn't ask), or ... well, anywhere really.
And she objected vociferously when I wanted to put a lock on the tool-room-under-the-stairs ... 
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
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OriginalGriff wrote: And she objected vociferously when I wanted to put a lock on the tool-room-under-the-stairs ...
Oh, it's not that long until every working surface in my garage/workshop will be covered with vegetables.
Then in winter, she'll start complaining that I didn't fix/make all the things she wanted fixed/made when the weather was good.
It's an annual ritual, like burning a guy alive in a wicker man.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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OriginalGriff wrote: when she is finished using something, she puts it down
My wife is the same. When she's done using an object, she puts it somewhere out of immediate view. Since her short-term memory no longer works thanks to a couple strokes, the object is now no longer part of her universe. Later when it bubbles back up for some reason she calls on her offline memory (aka me) to remember where she put it.
Software Zen: delete this;
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OriginalGriff wrote: the bedroom (last used as a paperweight)
Thank god you qualified that statement, I was a bit concerned at first!
A Fine is a Tax for doing something wrong
A Tax is a Fine for doing something good.
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For mine, it's bloody USB charging cables!!!
She comes and nicks mine out my office, then plugs them in to charge her iPad/Phone/Speaker/whatever (We have electrical outlets on the walls with built in USB sockets), then leaves them lying about in the living room, or where ever she used them.
In the mean time, I can never find one when I need one, so I go to our local pound/dollar store buy a bunch more, put them in my office, then when she wants one she comes and raids my office again.
I looked downstairs in the living room and within 30 seconds I found 5 under the sofa, another 10 under chairs and behind furniture and 7 in the drawer where she keeps all her misc junk, that's 20 cables all within less than a meter of where she was sitting/sits and she still comes trudging upstairs to my office, and just takes cables off my desk.
Drives me bloody nuts.
I've actually use a hot glue gun to seal around one of my charge cables where it's plugged into the back of the PC (So it's effectively glued to the PC) just so I have at least one she can't take...
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Suppose you are under lockdown - you probably are - but you fancy having a party anyway.
You'd keep the music down, close all the curtains, or live in a house miles from the neighbours, yes?
Not in Englands third most populous city you don't: Coronavirus: Greater Manchester Police warning after 660 parties shut down - BBC News[^]
660 parties in a weekend, some with fireworks (so the police can spot you from further away), DJ (so the choons are nice'n'loud), or bouncy castles ... or to be really obvious, have it outdoors as a street party (166 of them!).
Don't warn 'em - arrest 'em, and put them up before a court on Monday morning ... A weekend in teh cells counts as Social Distancing, doesn't it?
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
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we have the same type of people here in the States. I cite the recent spring break fiasco in Florida. A lot of those kids recently tested positive for COVID-19.
This is also why we here in the States have the warning on most coffee cups: "Warning - this beverage is extremely hot!".
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Those warnings wouldn't be there if it weren't for lawyers. All such warnings, and the lawyers who provoke them, are an abomination because they subvert natural selection.
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There's a rumour that Husqvarna had the sarcastic warning text on their chainsaws: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals"
I strongly doubt that there is any truth in it, but funny nonetheless.
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If it isn't true, is sure is a good lie!
What is not a lie is Electrolux vacuum cleaners, marketed under the slogan "Nothing sucks like Electrolux".
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Yes, it was the British importer that used it in the UK.
And the people at Cogent Elliot were fully aware of the double entendre.
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For every warning label there's at least one good story!
We don't need lawyers if we just rely on Darwin's law.
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