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Keith Barrow wrote: You have sex with dogs?
No, sorry. Can't help you with that topic - unless eating is like having sex for you. Then I have some delicious recipes that gives hot dog a totally new meaning. 
------------------------------
Author of Primary ROleplaying SysTem
How do I take my coffee? Black as midnight on a moonless night.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
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ihoecken wrote: unless eating is like having sex for you
There are some people who would subscribe to the notion that eating is like sex. In some sexual constellations "eating" and petting was the only kind of sex available until the advent of artificial instruments of sorts.
Cheers!
"I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability!"
Ron White, Comedian
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Nobody wants to read your stupid jokes.
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A doctor wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant.
"Seamus, I am goin hunting tomorrow and don’t want to close the clinic.
I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients".
"Yes, sir!" answers Seamus.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks:
"So, Seamus, how was your day?"
Seamus told him that he took care of three patients.
"The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL."
"Bravo, and the second one?" asks the doctor.
"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MALOX, sir," says Seamus.
"Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.
"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters.
Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table. She spreads her legs and shouts: "HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!"
"Thunderin’ Lard Jayzus, Seamus, what did ye do?" asks the doctor.
"I put drops in her eyes!!!!!"
It's an OO world.
public class Naerling : Lazy<Person>{
public void DoWork(){ throw new NotImplementedException(); }
}
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Without any mental deliberation, picture the average female porn star. Just let her spring into your mind’s eye looking however she looks. Can you see her?
I guess, like me you'll go blonde with big boobs. Now read on...
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H
OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre
I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer
Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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Never knew pron could be so boring... 
Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
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Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
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Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
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Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932
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Thank you for directing me to this essential piece of research. I think I'll dive deeper into the topic.
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I guess you are a porn addict.
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No, not at all. I can give up any time I want 
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Three women arrived simultaneously at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter said, "There is room here for each of you, if you will confess your sins." He looked at the first woman.
She blushed and said, "I married one man, but I loved another, so I divorced my husband and married the man I loved."
Saint Peter said, "Show her to the Silver Gate." A minion did so. He then looked at the second woman.
"I loved one man, married him, and we lived happily ever after." Saint Peter said, "Show her to the Golden Gate." He turned to the third woman.
"I was a exotic dancer," she confessed with a becoming smile, "and I pleased every man who came to see me. Pleased them well!" Saint Peter said, "Show her to my room!"
------------------------------
Author of Primary ROleplaying SysTem
How do I take my coffee? Black as midnight on a moonless night.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
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A month after Morris's coronary bypass surgery, he was back in his doctor's office for his follow-up visit. "Doc, when can I start having sex again?"
The doctor explained, "As soon as you can climb two flights of stairs without becoming winded."
Morris considered this and then asked, "How about if I find a woman who lives on the ground floor?"
------------------------------
Author of Primary ROleplaying SysTem
How do I take my coffee? Black as midnight on a moonless night.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
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Ok - I don't actually believe the statement in the title.
But it got your attention and gives you a far more appropriate venue for the puerile comments than Quick Answers or by posting fake answers to questions just to take the p**s.
Yes - VB6 is outdated.
Yes - VB6 is no longer supported
However, Yes - There are still billions of lines of VB6 code still being using in Production systems across the world
No! - We cannot just wave a magic wand and convert it all in a single stroke (and test it thoroughly by the way!) . One of the reasons being that there are fewer and fewer developers who will admit to knowing anything about VB6 and people are actively discouraged from finding anything out.
Large, Medium and Small companies have kept VB6 (and even earlier tech) going for as long as they can simply because the stuff is already there, it works, it's already tested, it's already been proven, it's a major major investment in time and money to start converting it and doing all of that re-testing.
Or perhaps you would like the large banking organisation I work for to just dive in and replace all of their VB6 code with "the latest technologies" ... hey - how about we do that each time a new technology comes a-knocking? Yeah, right! You don't mind some of your money going missing in the meantime I guess?
So there will occasionally be questions in CP about VB6. Real questions about real problems (not homework or please do my work for me type questions) and re-writing the entire program/suite/enterprise will not be an option for that OP.
So if you don't like VB6, know nothing about VB6, don't want to help the OP or just want to be sarcastic, then butt out of those questions and come here and have a go at me instead.
Rant over.
http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/magazine/jj133813.aspx[^]
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I do actually remember reading that Microsoft stated that they will make sure that the VB6 core will work on OS's upto and including 8.
Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce, served in a Provençale manner with shallots and aubergines, garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried egg on top and Spam - Monty Python Spam Sketch
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I don't think VB6 will run on 64 bit systems
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according to this it can under WOW (now need to check what this is)
http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/vstudio/ms788708.aspx[^]
Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce, served in a Provençale manner with shallots and aubergines, garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried egg on top and Spam - Monty Python Spam Sketch
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WOW is basically an emulator ... and you know what they say about emulation ... "Emulation is like masturbation - do it for long enough and you begin to think it's just like the real thing"
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Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce, served in a Provençale manner with shallots and aubergines, garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried egg on top and Spam - Monty Python Spam Sketch
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reilly96 wrote:
I don't think VB6 will run on 64 bit
systems
False! VB6 apps run just fine on Win8 64 bit. Our main software applications are VB6, and I still work in it everyday. We are using .NET for new projects and will rewrite everything. The fact that VB6 runs flawlessly on Win8 buys me another 4-5 years to get it done. 
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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So with the suggestion that Windows 9 will be released this summer, the clock is ticking! 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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I do hope that it does get killed off then 
Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce, served in a Provençale manner with shallots and aubergines, garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried egg on top and Spam - Monty Python Spam Sketch
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Ah, VB6 sucks anyway.
Ok, I go and play hide.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb
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If you want to write a two-tier app with a pleasant GUI and backed by (say) SQL Server, VB6 could still do a useful job today but the writing is on the wall. As I enter my dotage I'll happily shuffle around any company that still has some VB6 that wants maintaining, as an old friend of mine said "If they pay me, I'll code in anything".
And since I do have a lot of VB6 (and 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and DOS) experience I'll try to use that to help people who are still supporting systems using it. I may offer some guidance that it is time to move on but I see this as being like taking my car to the garage. I know my mechanic well enough that he'll tell me when the work required makes it uneconomical to fix, he won't tell me to change the car when the wiper blades are worn out.
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CHill60 wrote: VB6 is a god!!
To some extent, you are correct, as it will slowly fall into the annals of mythology over the coming years just like all the spaghetti monsters.
On a positive note, at least one could get vb6 to do something constructive.
I wasn't, now I am, then I won't be anymore.
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It will be as dead as COBOL - I was told that COBOl was on the way out when I started in IT in 1985. Lots of people still make a living maintaining COBOL systems
It's well known that if all the cat videos and porn disappeared from the internet there would be only one site left and it would be called whereareallthecatvideosandporn.com
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CHill60 wrote: There are still billions of lines of VB6 code still being using in Production systems across the world
How much Cobol?
How much Fortran?
How much Pascal?
CHill60 wrote: Large, Medium and Small companies have kept VB6 (and even earlier tech) going for as long as they can simply because the stuff is already there, it works, it's already tested, it's already been proven, it's a major major investment in time and money to start converting it and doing all of that re-testing.
To be fair "tested" in this context means - "it works in production".
Versus, for example a extensive and complete testing suite.
CHill60 wrote: work for to just dive in and replace all of their VB6 code with "the latest technologies" ... hey - how about we do that each time a new technology comes a-knocking? Yeah, right! You don't mind some of your money going missing in the meantime I guess?
The banks absolutely do not care if my money goes missing. What they care about is if their money goes missing.
This is why, for example, credit cards these days have so many 'fraud' checks. They do nothing to protect the consumer because the consumer's credit cards are already completely protected from loss (maximum of $50.) What they do is protect the bank's losses.
But other than that no business should upgrade to every new technology.
But businesses especially large ones should have some concept of architecture which includes evaluating new technologies for inclusion. Across the entire business. And banks don't do that. They often have divisions that not only do not coordinate their development but have absolutely no idea that the other divisions even exist. Hiring and management is often at the highest levels (perhaps always) handled by financial officers who do not have any experience with development. And there is no emphasis on looking for solutions that increase the quality of development but always an emphasis on reducing cost.
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Honestly, this shouldn't need to be in the Soapbox.
"The ones who care enough to do it right care too much to compromise."
Matthew Faithfull
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I completely agree. I just got a little fed up with some people hijacking OPs genuine questions/problems involving VB6 just to have a rant, and sometimes being rather rude. I'd rather they had a go at me here so we can get on the point of QA 
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For a number of years we got question in the forums asking for VB6 support on projects that were just starting, they deserved a rant to move the project to a supported platform. I have not seen any of these for some time
I still think any large organisation needs a strategy to move to supported platforms! Still you should not be getting flack for supporting legacy crap but if it is broke then it needs migrating - yeah I know, broken wipers != new car but some of the requests are for adding new features!
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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This post is about VB6, I better downvote it...
Seriously though, we still do VB6 from time to time because that's what some of our customers still use. Although management announced we will not be supporting it anymore after 2015. The reason being that we simply cannot get it to work anymore on our machines (we run some virtual machines to edit VB6 software), but also because we don't have the knowledge anymore. Some of us (not me) still know some VB6 from way back when, but if you only get to do it once a year looking for that function or structure that could help you out takes way longer than it should...
It's an OO world.
public class Naerling : Lazy<Person>{
public void DoWork(){ throw new NotImplementedException(); }
}
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CHill60 wrote: Rant over.
The reasons why I keep pointing it out are valid;
- VB6 is no longer for sale, meaning there'll be just a few remaining active licenses.
- One who does not migrate while it is still an option will be COBOL'ed
- People with an emotional attachment to the language do not rationally think about the fact that they're writing in a dead language. VB.NET isn't "much more" complicated.
- Posts like yours prove that the language still has support. Whoopie - but that means that YOU will be answering these questions in the future and doing the migrations, not me.
- It's not "news" - VB6 has been killed a decade ago. A speech to keep supporting it is more than a decade too late.
As for the large banks; I know that there are some large companies who depend on their outdated and unsafe VB6 solutions. I can also guess whose balls will be on the plate if anything goes wrong.
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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A man's wife returns home early from work to find him wanking in the kitchen. She immediately races over to him and gives him the best blowjob he's ever had in his life.
"Six months without sex, and now all of a sudden this... WHY??" asks the astounded man.
"Simple." She replies... "I just cleaned the floors this morning. It's much easier to clean my teeth than get the damn mop out again!!"
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Should be BJJOTD
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H
OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre
I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer
Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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A wife who cleans the house BEFORE going to work to earn money and gives her husband a blowjob immediately upon returning? Jokes are meant to be plausible. This is beyond believable. A 5 nontheless!
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So, 'Go elephant yourself' takes on a whole new meaning.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan." So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!" -- knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he gets up, tell him that's a crowbar from Sears".
It's an OO world.
public class Naerling : Lazy<Person>{
public void DoWork(){ throw new NotImplementedException(); }
}
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Bob Dole The internet is a great way to get on the net.
 2.0.82.7292 SP6a
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A female gynecologist retires and decides to pursue a hobby of hers: auto-tuning.
She gets into a motor repair course in her community college and finishes with an exam.
The community college sends her grades through mail and when she receives them she is very surprised:
-Out of one hundred points, one hundred and fifty? it must be a typo.
She calls the community college and asks for her teacher
-Mr. Shephard?
-Hi, Mrs. Jones, how can I help you?
-Well, I got my grades and it says that out of a 100 points I scored 150. It must be a typo!
-That's no typo!
-What do you mean?
-Mrs. Jones: do you remember the testing procedure? Theorical and Practical?
-Yes, Mr. Shephard, but I still don't get it.
-Well, we started with the theorical: describe how to take apart and put together a motor, you had 50 out of 50...
-... Ok?
-Then there was the practical: to actually take apart and put together a motor, again 50 out of 50.
-Ok, but what about the extra 50 points?
The teacher took a minute to answer:
-Maam, you did all that through the exhaust pipe.
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(Yepp, I may be childish but it's funny to me!)
------------------------------
Author of Primary ROleplaying SysTem
How do I take my coffee? Black as midnight on a moonless night.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
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Same joke, but takes up decorating and paints the hallway through the letterbox.
'nuff said!
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Letter to 'Sinclair User' June 1984:
"AS A TEACHER and a Conservative supporter, I take exception to some of the remarks made in your April article, No Time For Complacency. I cannot speak for the present Government but I would like to put my views as briefly as I can.
The profligate spending of the last Socialist Government, or "Labour" as it calls itself, for some unknown reason, left this country in a very difficult financial position. The International Monetary Fund had refused to lend it any more money because of the extravagant way in which it was spent and the Socialists had to impose a freeze on spending which affected education and other services very severely.
It has cost practically all the revenue from North Sea oil to pay the interest on that debt and pay off some of the blank cheques left behind when they were put out of office in 1979. Under their Minister of Education, none other than Mrs Shirley Williams who was then a Socialist, we suffered equally from shortages of books and materials at a time when schools were full. She was too busy trying to impose comprehensive education on all and sundry to bother about such mundane things.
The present Government has put things back into perspective. You just cannot go on spending other people's money for ever, soaking the "rich" - who are usually not Labour supporters - to give to those they consider are the "poor" - who are usually good Labour party members, otherwise they do not exist - forever. What happens when there are no more "rich"?
I bought a 48K Spectrum last July after a long wait until I could afford one, as I wanted to assess its capabilities as a teaching machine, which I found to be limitless. I also wanted to keep one step ahead of the little horrors I teach and to be able to hold my own in discussions. As I find it a pleasant relief from work and politics, I did not welcome the intrusion of this in your otherwise excellent magazine. I shall, of course, continue to read it, despite all.
I cannot afford many things just now, like a daisywheel printer to go with my Tasword II and replace my 30-year-old typewriter; I shall buy one when I can afford it. The Government would dearly love to issue each school with two dozen computers and keep them up to date but there is the debt to pay and all manner of pressure groups demanding their share of public funds which are only just beginning to exist again."
We move in circles.
---------------------------------
I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
CCC Link[ ^]
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Socialists have very selective memories.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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mark merrens wrote: Socialists have very selective memories.
How appropriate. You fight like a cow! 
Bastard Programmer from Hell
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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Eddy Vluggen wrote: How appropriate. You fight like a cow!
I must be having a thick day cos I don't get it.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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It's a response to an insult in a classic computergame, "The Secret of Monkey Island".
Just didn't like your representation of a socialist. Of course, in the game, I'd loose the fight at this moment, since the response isn't related to the insult.
Bastard Programmer from Hell
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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Never played games so that was wasted on me.
In any case, it wasn't an insult, it was an observation: socialists seem quite adept at putting out of their minds what happened the last time they held power and simply repeat the same mistakes. Again, an observation.r
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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mark merrens wrote: In any case, it wasn't an insult, it was an observation
It's a subjective observation, not a definition. My mistake, as a (trying to be) social person, I felt insulted.
mark merrens wrote: socialists seem quite adept at putting out of their minds what happened the last time they held power and simply repeat the same mistakes
Ah.
Implies that any other than a socialist would not have, does it not? Which country, and which mistakes?
Bastard Programmer from Hell
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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