Click here to Skip to main content
14,244,354 members

The Soapbox

The Soapbox allows you to stand up and have a rant, tell a bad joke, complain about someone or post stuff that that may not be appropriate for reading at work and/or isn't strictly IT industry related. It is rated M. Do not post anything offensive or which breaches the Terms of Use. Do not post programming questions (use the programming forums for that) and please don't post ads.

The SoapBox is not for flame wars, personal vendettas, or for grinding your axe. Trolling will not be tolerated. Anything inappropriate for this forum will be deleted immediately.

 
GeneralRe: The c*** Word Pin
R. Giskard Reventlov14-Jun-13 4:41
professionalR. Giskard Reventlov14-Jun-13 4:41 
GeneralLittle Johnnie Pin
Suresh Suthar13-Jun-13 20:34
professionalSuresh Suthar13-Jun-13 20:34 
GeneralRe: Little Johnnie Pin
Johnny J.13-Jun-13 21:18
professionalJohnny J.13-Jun-13 21:18 
GeneralRe: Little Johnnie Pin
Keith Barrow13-Jun-13 22:44
mentorKeith Barrow13-Jun-13 22:44 
GeneralRe: Little Johnnie Pin
Johnny J.13-Jun-13 22:56
professionalJohnny J.13-Jun-13 22:56 
GeneralRe: Little Johnnie PinPopular
chriselst13-Jun-13 23:40
memberchriselst13-Jun-13 23:40 
GeneralRe: Little Johnnie Pin
Nagy Vilmos13-Jun-13 23:50
professionalNagy Vilmos13-Jun-13 23:50 
GeneralRe: Little Johnnie PinPopular
Richard Deeming14-Jun-13 1:26
mveRichard Deeming14-Jun-13 1:26 
(Possibly a repost, but I can't find it at the moment.)

The Internal Revenue Service decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to an appointment with the toughest auditor in the office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney.

The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "OK. Go ahead."

Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops.

Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk and piss into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you OK?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me $20,000 that he could come in here and piss all over your desk -- and that you'd be happy about it!"



"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer


JokeBJOTD - variation on a theme... Pin
R. Giskard Reventlov13-Jun-13 5:40
professionalR. Giskard Reventlov13-Jun-13 5:40 
GeneralRe: BJOTD - variation on a theme... Pin
_Maxxx_13-Jun-13 15:27
professional_Maxxx_13-Jun-13 15:27 
GeneralRe: BJOTD - variation on a theme... Pin
Johnny J.13-Jun-13 21:21
professionalJohnny J.13-Jun-13 21:21 
JokeUnderstanding Black Holes (continued from the Lounge) Pin
Johnny J.13-Jun-13 3:54
professionalJohnny J.13-Jun-13 3:54 
GeneralRe: Understanding Black Holes (continued from the Lounge) Pin
Rage13-Jun-13 4:45
professionalRage13-Jun-13 4:45 
GeneralRe: Understanding Black Holes (continued from the Lounge) Pin
R. Giskard Reventlov13-Jun-13 5:11
professionalR. Giskard Reventlov13-Jun-13 5:11 
GeneralRe: Understanding Black Holes (continued from the Lounge) Pin
Nagy Vilmos13-Jun-13 5:20
professionalNagy Vilmos13-Jun-13 5:20 
GeneralOcker Politics - Now with breasts! Pin
Keith Barrow12-Jun-13 23:05
mentorKeith Barrow12-Jun-13 23:05 
GeneralRe: Ocker Politics - Now with breasts! Pin
Johnny J.12-Jun-13 23:32
professionalJohnny J.12-Jun-13 23:32 
GeneralRe: Ocker Politics - Now with breasts! Pin
TheGreatAndPowerfulOz12-Jun-13 23:45
memberTheGreatAndPowerfulOz12-Jun-13 23:45 
GeneralRe: Ocker Politics - Now with breasts! Pin
TheGreatAndPowerfulOz12-Jun-13 23:47
memberTheGreatAndPowerfulOz12-Jun-13 23:47 
GeneralRe: Ocker Politics - Now with breasts! Pin
_Damian S_13-Jun-13 15:25
professional_Damian S_13-Jun-13 15:25 
GeneralI know the Flinstones was a poor movie Pin
Pete O'Hanlon12-Jun-13 19:51
protectorPete O'Hanlon12-Jun-13 19:51 
GeneralRe: I know the Flinstones was a poor movie Pin
Johnny J.12-Jun-13 22:24
professionalJohnny J.12-Jun-13 22:24 
GeneralRe: I know the Flinstones was a poor movie Pin
Pete O'Hanlon12-Jun-13 22:32
protectorPete O'Hanlon12-Jun-13 22:32 
GeneralRe: I know the Flinstones was a poor movie Pin
Johnny J.12-Jun-13 22:35
professionalJohnny J.12-Jun-13 22:35 
GeneralRe: I know the Flinstones was a poor movie Pin
Bergholt Stuttley Johnson13-Jun-13 0:04
professionalBergholt Stuttley Johnson13-Jun-13 0:04 

General General    News News    Suggestion Suggestion    Question Question    Bug Bug    Answer Answer    Joke Joke    Praise Praise    Rant Rant    Admin Admin   

Use Ctrl+Left/Right to switch messages, Ctrl+Up/Down to switch threads, Ctrl+Shift+Left/Right to switch pages.