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Prince Charles has often been mocked in the media for talking to plants (which are at least alive, if not overtly sentient). He probably even talks to politicians.
So, how many of us can honestly say we don't "talk" to our PCs (ignoring "legitimate" use of any voice recognising apps)?
And by "talk" I'm guessing that "swear" would probably be a more applicable term.
In the last day or so, and cleaning it up, I can remember things like
"I asked you to paste the ****ing table not open an old document from yesterday!"
"Why do I need another update when I only just installed the "latest" version?"
"Have you really finished that print job or are you just waiting for me to leave the room before you ask for a new ink cartridge?"
So, is there anyone who doesn't talk to their machine and for those that do, what are the most common phrases?
Timely PS - as I was about to post, I heard the other half exclaiming "Oh come on, it's been nearly five minutes" - before anyone tells me off, yes I have got more RAM and an SSD ready to go in her laptop!
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depends upon the computer.
My big brand spankin new butt kicker at work with 32 cores and 64gb of memory. I whisper sweet nothings too. It really is the bestest puter in the whole world. yes you are. You good puter.
My old rebuild of a rebuilt linux laptop at home. I swear at all the time. IT loves it.
My phone I threaten it with bodily harm all the time, and have carried thru a couple of times. I think it is beginning to learn its lesson.
To err is human to really mess up you need a computer
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rnbergren wrote: My big brand spankin new butt kicker at work with 32 cores and 64gb of memory. I whisper sweet nothings too. It really is the bestest puter in the whole world. yes you are. You good puter.
puterWhisperer 
I'm not sure how many cookies it makes to be happy, but so far it's not 27.
JaxCoder.com
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you know it! LOL
To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer
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Follow up to that. How many people both love and hate when you as a computer "professional" go look at someone else's machine that is messing up and it "works" just fine for you? "What did you do?" is always the question and the answer is a shrug.
My wife hates me sometimes for this.
To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer
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I get it as well: Herself will scream at your tablet, I go over, she tells me what is wrong, I ask her to show me, and ... it works fine.
One of these days she's going to hit me with it I suspect.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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I haven't been hit....... yet.
But I have been yelled at and have had the yelling arm waving experience. I gently walk away.
And like your tag line says. I am going to take full credit for whatever it was that I did.
To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer
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My man knows enough to fix his own problems. He has realized enlisting my help is more trouble than I'm worth. 
Real programmers use butterflies
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I sometimes wonder if my spouses thinks that might be the case with me as well. HAHAHa
To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer
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I used to be the support person at home, but I've since dumped that duty on my son (BSc in Networking/ Computer Security - hardware) and daughter (BSc in Computer Science - software). I don't even build my own PCs any longer; that duty got dumped on my son as well. I do deal with the software on my own PCs, and most of what I say to them essentially (once the choice adjectives are stripped out) boils down to "I have screwdrivers, wire cutters and a soldering iron, and I WILL use them on you if you don't behave." So far, they appear to believe me.
And I've always thought that the language surveys were incomplete; they almost never include the one language all programmers know best - profanity.
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Yes to this. 
Real programmers use butterflies
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"I didn't mention the bats - he'd see them soon enough" - Hunter S Thompson - RIP
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Mike Hankey wrote: 32 cores
AMD Threadripper? 
The difficult we do right away...
...the impossible takes slightly longer.
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Amen
I'm not sure how many cookies it makes to be happy, but so far it's not 27.
JaxCoder.com
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I was cursing Microsoft this morning when Paint behaved differently then it used to: it mangled the palette when re-saving an 8-bit indexed greyscale image.
Oh well, Paint3d worked for now.
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Rich Leyshon wrote:
And by "talk" I'm guessing that "swear" would probably be a more applicable term.
Not nearly so often as I "talk" to other video based items (streaming and other video) hoping the face I see can actually hear me, shrivel up, and die.
Perhaps the real culprit (most of us, fortunately, do not have royal blood and the "breeding" it implies) is the video device concept, itself. I rarely curse the car radio.
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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I talk to spam callers. I've just come off a "Your bank card has been used to buy an iPhone 11 from Amazon for $1100. If this was not you, press 1 to talk to an agent ...". No, I did not press 1; I just made fake concerned drivel like "Oh dear! Not again! The previous ones you told me about in the past few days still haven't arrived. Never mind, I'm notifying the police about it and I hope they will be sending folks round to you to sort out fake callers." Hint: If you do similar, do not use the words 'Yes' or 'No' and do not give your name - they can use the recordings for authenticating that they are you in voice recognition purchasing systems.
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Rich Leyshon wrote: So, is there anyone who doesn't talk to their machine and for those that do, what are the most common phrases?
Many times. Usually starting with  . The latest, when a (forced) Windows update wiped my desktop. I don't have a lot of stuff on my desktop, but what is there, is there for a reason - it's what I use, day in, day out!
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I talk to them, cajole them, coax them, whisper sweet nothings at them, and when that doesn't work I swear at them.
Real programmers use butterflies
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The only device I talk to frequently it seems is the Roomba. It sometimes feels like it's making additional passes, or otherwise just hanging out where I happen to be. After a few bumps, I'll occasionally do a, "You're doing that crap on purpose. Shoo!"
"Rex" the Roomba is a delightful assistant otherwise, and gets treated pretty decently any other time though.
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I confess I've done some stupid things to past systems...hit the monitor, kicked the CPU under the desk when they misbehaved. Monitors have become more fragile/light and the CPU is away from my feet. The most I might do these days is shoot it the bird with a bit of swearing or a quick victory dance depending on the situation.
Computers are a lot more stable these days, and I'm a bit mellower. (thinking back to my first laptop with ME and VS6...I learned to save often...then I found W2K and all was well)
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
"Hope is contagious"
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Plants do prefer Classical over Heavy Metal.
And for whatever reason, I have a 40+ year old cactus that flowered at least 4 times this year (sometimes 2 at a time), and as recently as a month ago. Quite the deal since the flower only lasts one day. Previously, It would do one flower a year maybe, and in only the last 10 years or so.
It was only in wine that he laid down no limit for himself, but he did not allow himself to be confused by it.
― Confucian Analects: Rules of Confucius about his food
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Of course I talk to my computer. Amongst non-human things, I also talk to my two dogs (greyhounds, retired racers), my car, other drivers even though they can't hear me, the self-checkout registers in stores, salespeople(*), and so on.
The dogs (Bacchus and Hera) are the only ones who give intelligent responses.
(*) I'm sorry, but I believe most salespeople should be put in an industrial food processor and sprayed over fields as organic fertilizer. For that reason I don't classify them as human.
Software Zen: delete this;
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Nobuo Uematsu - Dancing Mad[^]
Time for a classic game soundtrack, but properly performed by an orchestra.
I still listen to Final Fantasy soundtracks A LOT, but lately it's mostly the orchestrated versions from the Distant Worlds albums.
And so I rediscovered Dancing Mad.
This epic song is the final boss music for Final Fantasy VI, from 1994, and with almost 18 minutes in its original version it's the longest boss theme to date.
In this orchestrated version you can hear just how great the composition is, with an organ and a choir (yeah, that doesn't sound so well on the original SNES version ).
In the third stage it even transforms into progressive rock that would not have been out of place on a 70's rock album!
And with ten minutes quite a bit shorter than the original!
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