How to Create a Joke Jukebox in Visual Basic 6.0

"FUNNY MEDICAL RECORDS, Doctors Mistakes"
"   The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately."
"   Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized."
"   The skin was moist and dry."
"   Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid."
"   The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."
"   She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce."
"   Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant."
"   The patient was in his usual state of good health until his  airplane ran out of gas and crashed."
"   I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."
"   The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle,  who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week."
"   Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles."
"   Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.  She is numb from her toes down."
"   Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right  foot."
"   While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent  home."
"   The lab test indicated abnormal lover function."
"   The patient was to have a bowel resection.  However he took a job  as a stockbroker instead."
"   Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches."
"   Coming from Detroit, this man has no children."
"   Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his  family in no distress."
"   Patient was alert and unresponsive."
"   When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."