How to Create a Joke Jukebox in Visual Basic 6.0

"Funny Thoughts"
"Why is it that when your toast falls on the floor,it always falls with the side that has butter to the ground?"
"Why do you need a drivers licence to buy liquor when you cannot drink and drive. "
"Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there."
"Why do they call it a hot water heater? Does hot water need heating?"
"Do you know who came up with the word butterfly?"
"Do they have american fries in France?"
"When you close the refridgerator, does the light stay on?"
"Did adam and eve have belly-buttons?"
"Do cartoon characters have nipples??"
"Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?"
"How does the VCR clock work anyway?"
"How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?"
"How many times do you use a disposable razor?"
"If 7-11 is open 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?"
"If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?"
"If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the frying pan?"
"If our knees bent the other way, what would a chair look like?"
"If superman is so clever, why does he wear his underwear on the outside?"
"If you have 24 odds and ends on a table, and 23 fall off, what do you have left, an odd or an end?"
"If you tied a buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a great height, what will happen?"
"If your in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn the headlights on?"
"You know how most well labelled packages say Open Here. What is the protocol if the package says, Open Somewhere Else?"
"When a crash-test-dummy hits his head, and no engineers record the results, does he make a sound?"
"When does a blind man know he is finished wiping his butt? "
"When it rains, the sky is completely covered in clouds.  How does the rain get through?"
"When they finish making styro-foam what do they package it in?"
"When two airplanes have a near miss, isn't that a collision?"
"When you have your picture taken with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland, does the guy inside the costume smile for the camera?"
"Where can you buy those little plastic ends to put on your shoe laces?"
"Why are there Interstate Highways in Hawaii?"
"Why are there floatation device under plane seats, instead of parachutes?"
"Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight?"
"Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive up ATM?"
"Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?"
"Why does sour cream have a use-by date?"
"Why is it called a TOOTHbrush when you brush all of your teeth?"
"Why does the door bell ring just after you've stepped out of the shower?"
"Why does the phone always ring when you're on the toilet?"
"Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?"
"Why is it that no matter how tall you are or where you're standing, if you're washing your hands, and the water splashes you, it always looks like you've pissed yourself?"
"Why is it that when they show a computer ad they show computers and when they show a car ad they show cars but when they show a condom ad they show people playing tennis?"
"Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called a cargo?"
"Why is there always one in every crowd? If you took all the ones in every crowd and put them in another crowd, will there be one in that crowd?"
"Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?"
"Why do they call it a pair of pants?"
"How could you go fishing if you don't want to open that can of worms?"
"Why when you throw up does it go everywhere but in the toilet?"
"You know that little indrestructable black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?"
"Why do we tend to raise our shoulders when we're out in the rain? Is it not gonna get wet if you raise them?"
"Why is it that when You're driving and looking for an address, You turn down the volume of the radio? Is it gonna make you hear better?"
"Why is it that you see this written on car seat belts: ? This seat belt does not offer any protection if it is not buckled up?(or something like that).(Really!!!!)."
"Why is it that international magazines that advertise products will have the same description of something in different languages, but the desription of each language is written in english?  Who's that supposed to benefit?"