Handling Mouse Events and Simulating Push Buttons and List Boxes in a Win32 Console

"You are an IRC addict if.."
"you would rather be at your IRC birthday party than out with real people!"
"someone at work tells you a joke, and you say ROTFLOL!" 
"you have ever had a dream about the people in your channels. "
"you leave the computer on just to see the mIRC logo! "
"you watch T.V. with closed captioning turned on. "
"your friend Susan tells you something sad on the phone and you say Awwww, /me hugs Susan. "
"you've called out someone else's nick while making love to your better half. "
"you keep begging your friends to get an internet account so we can hang out. "
"three words: carpal tunnel syndrome. "
"you are laughing at these jokes.  "
"you want to meet a girl and your first impulse is to turn on your computer. "
"you once devoted a weekend to working on your popups." 
"you sometimes go to #egypt just to get away from it all." 
"when you join #mIRC everyone types Norm!" 
"one time you used a feminine nick just to mess with the horny net geeks." 
"you wait for your roommates to say re."  
"the words takeover, nick collide, and flood make your heart beat faster and your hands a little shaky. "
"sometimes when you type commands from a unix prompt you mistakenly begin them with a /" 
"you've ever gotten onto an airplane just to meet some folks face to face. "
"you try to change your ping reply and quit message daily. "
"you have over 20 megs of .wav files in your mIRC directory. "
"you have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's. "
"your child ignores your request and you wonder if she is lagged. "
"you send internet Christmas cards. "
"you've been so anxious to get on IRC you forgot to turn your speakers on and can't figure out why you can't hear the wavs being played! "
"you have ever wondered if there is a #mIRC-anon. "
"you have a mIRC web page (or links to any mIRC pages on your page) "
"you think that this is not fantasy but real life and you plan your whole life around IRC chat! "
"you've ever logged on to dalnet. "
"you join #hispanola just to work on my Spanish. "
"when someone on the channel asks if anyone knows some good servers, everyone else types your nick. "
"you join busy channels just to talk to yourself because the scrolling makes you feel better about it somehow. "
"you've ever typed drinking on irc is better than drinking alone. "
"your pregnant wife goes into labor and you stop to type a special away message. "
"you go into labor and you stop to type a special away message. "
"you have a vanity car tag with your nick on it. "
"you've been lagged so bad that you've switched servers so much you can see your nicks on the channel list 3 times. "
"your service provider calls *you* for tech support."
"someone at work tells you a joke, and you say LOL!"
"you have ever had a dream about the people in your channels."
"you have to scroll through your popup menu."
"you watch T.V. with closed captioning turned on."
"your friend Tom tells you something sad on the phone and you say Awwww, me hugs Lias."
"your friends are now convinced that IRC stands for I Repeat Classes."
"you come home from work, look at your kids, and say ib." 
"you wait for your kids to say re." 
"you have over 2 megs of .wav files on your mirc directory. "
"you have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's. "
"your child ignores your request and you wonder if she is lagged. "
"you have an irc web page. "
"you've ever went to one of those form-submit web page 'chats' just to say you loosers don't even know what irc is, do you? Huh!? DO YOU!?! "
"when someone on the channel asks if anyone knows some good servers, everyone else types your nick. "
"you've ever typed drinking on irc is better than drinking alone. "
"you've been lagged so bad that you've switched servers so much you can see you nick on the channel list 3 times."
"you no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences.."
"you live on #twilight_zone for months praying for an O: line"
"you end up with 7 O: lines "
"to get revenge on someone you know in RL, you mail bomb them..through the US postal service, that is."
"you have met over 100 ircers"
"you /umode +s because you dont feel right without it "
"you dont know your boyfriend/girlfriend's first name"
"your boyfriend/girlfriend in RL gets on IRC coz its the only way to reach you"
"you know which servers are major hubs..in *.tw"
"you call your S.O (boyfriend/girlfriend is too long to type) a HNG"
"you use words like 'leet' and 'lame' in RL"
"you find yourself wishing that that who cut you off were on irc so you could flood her"
"you read operlist"
"you tell your rfiends you have plans already on saturday night when you dont"
"your .ircrc is over 80k"
"you feel a need to talk in all caps to certain people in RL"
"your desk is the only part of your room you ever use (screw the bed ;)"
"you have ever put a smiley in a paper at work"
"the JehovA's Witnesses knock on the door, and all you can think of doing is flood them with PINGs. "
"you get a call from a telemarketer, and instead of hanging up on them, you set down the phone, and set their mode to -v "
"you call up your friend Nick, and /invite $nick to #watch_TV "
"you offer the babysitter OPS when you go out for the night "
"you refer to rush hour traffic as LAGGED... or to avoid traffic, you tell your passenger you need to quit for a second to switch servers "
"the word I is now replaced in your vocabulary with /me. "
"you raise your hand in class, and say BRB "
"you have more than 3 private MSG windows going simultaneously "
"you won't subscribe to a certain internet provider because they don't offer unlimited time per month "
"instead of taking a disk home from work, you set up your BOT to serve it to you later that night "
"you no longer have to stop and explain to your friends what RE ALL means "
"you begin to say hehehehehehehehe instead of laughing "
"you don't sleep at night because you are too busy staying up late thinking of a new NICK"
"you know and use regularly, more than 10 different ways to smile in ascii text "
"you cry when you see more than 3 quit messages with two servers listed as the reason. "
"when someone says what did you say? you reply scroll up! "
"you find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the might when your spouse is asleep to get more irc time in! "
"you turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know that you are on irc again! "
"you know more about your irc friends daily routines than you do your own spouses! "
"when someone in a channel says where is today, and you know exactly where that person is and why they are not logged on. "
"you find yourself lieing to others about your irc time. When they complain your phone is busy, you claim it was off the hook! "
"you have an identity crisis if someone else is using your nick. "
"you would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of the truth (up all night on irc!) "
"you change nicks so much that you have to type /me to see who you are! "
"you put on special mood music while talking to certain people in private chats! "
"your friends on irc were above your RL friends on your Christmas card list! "
"you find yourself involved in channel politics on irc! "
"you ever turned down real hugs for {{hugs}} from your irc friends. "
"you have actually kept up with 10 converstions at one time!"
"<---this one shows either great skill or that you are too far gone! "
"you postpone your college graduation date so you can keep your free .edu account! "
"you have ever written a pen-and-paper letter to someone and found it _impossible_ to do without smilies "
"if you're broke and your modem burns out and you go out on to the streeets to sell your body to get a new one.. "
"if you are willing to risk a divorce because your husband doesn't like all the time you are spending on the computer"
"if you are willing to sell a kidney to get to the next #anne-Rice channel meet"
"if you are risking your job by staying on #anne-rice in the afternoon"
"if you open up your home to 15 strangers for a week merely because they have computers and cute nicknames "
"if you consider getting an THIRD phone line so your S.O. can get online on a diff acct"
"if you yell at ppl cause they aww using more than 2 w's and are messing up your URL list"
"if your kids are standing at your side going mommy, please come cook dinner and you'd rather type another LOL!"
"if the first thing you say after coming out of a movie is, Hey. Remember that funny line? It would make a perfect info line!"
"you Marry your cyberboyfriend RT and you both sit at your own computers and chat to each other every night from across the room!"
"you have ever had netsex with a bot. "
"your first thought when your nick is taken is VERSION"