That post was getting too long, so I'm dividing it up into smaller ones...
"Go watch a Ninnie'nen'ninya music video of the girl faded into the misty blue background where she says "I'm so so sorry" over and over real soft, and then starts crying at the end of the video, and then she fades deep into the background."
-- CaptainSeeSharp, 2010-03-22 [^] (Now we know how CSS spends his evenings... I wonder what you have to smoke to get that kind of hallucination)
"[The IRS] can come and brutally slaughter me with their black ski-mask thugs with sawed off shotguns."
-- CaptainSeeSharp, 2010-03-23 [^] (Tickets, please! Gotta have a ticket to watch the slaughter!)
"White men don't need to tell himself anything, because he is blessed as God's chosen design. That is why we are the most successful, and that is why you are your jealous people hate us and want to take us down.
-- CaptainSeeSharp, 2010-05-04 [^] (At last, the shroud of the Dark Side has fallen! He's not a teabagger... He's in the Klan!)
"We will force them to, and their slaves will rebel and they will collapse. If they don't like it, then they can die."
-- CaptainSeeSharp, 2010-06-02 [^] (That's the spirit! Liberty and personal freedom through bloody conquest!)
"I have taught you some things, but you have several thousand years of evolutionary processes to go through before you will reach the point where I'm at."
-- CaptainSeeSharp, 2010-07-21 [^] (Yes, my young Padawan! Someday, you too will be able to flip burgers and deliver pizza! Or maybe, he's referring to Idiocracy[^])
"a forum without a zombie emoticon is incomplete anyway"
-- harold aptroot, 2010-09-16 [^] (Braaaaaaaaains!)
"I don't even have to shave, comb my hair, or take a shower, or act very sociable. In fact when I look rugged, and haven't taken a shower in a couple days and not wearing deodorant, and act serious girls seem to like me more (though some really don't)."
-- CaptainSeeSharp, 2010-10-03 [^] (I smell a sequel to 'How to Lose Friends and Alienate People'... Speaking of smells, I'm glad I don't live in the same state as this guy)
I've been hanging out in the Back Room lately, amusing myself by trying to pound logic and common sense into the conspiracy crowd. Ok, so it's not much of a crowd... There's one that fits that mold perfectly, and one that I think just has some misguided viewpoints but at least understands the issues.
Anyway, I need somewhere to store these little gems... I'll add to this post as more pop up...
"Disagreeing with me is like disagreeing with everything that is good and right."
-- CaptainSeeSharp, 2009-11-30 [^] (Supposedly, it originally said "...like disagreeing with God", but he quickly edited it - He denies this, but it sounds like something he'd write)
"You are a fallacy. You are incapable of thought."
-- CaptainSeeSharp, 2009-11-30 [^] (This is like the adult equivalent of "Your mom!")
"I can flex the front part of my brain instantly anytime I want. It can be exhausting and it even causes me vision problems for some reason."
-- CaptainSeeSharp, 2009-06-08 [^] (With the right electrodes, this might be possible)
"Anyone who wants to disarm the public, is a racist, plain and simple."
-- CaptainSeeSharp, 2010-01-19 [^] (Yes, and anyone who eats pie is a Nazi, and anyone who plays tennis is a drug dealer)
"Ian, the CIA runs the drug trade, child kidnapping trade, starts wars, created & runs al'quada, ignites revolutions within countries, assassinates presidents and leaders home and abroad, tortures people, the list goes on and on. The CIA is the punching arm of the federal reserve."
-- CaptainSeeSharp, 2010-01-23 [^] (There are two spellings for Al Qaeda in our alphabet, and still managed to get it wrong. I should comment on the amazing amount of idiocy, but there's just nothing more to say)
"I'm sorry, I've known [CaptainSeeSharp] a lot longer than you and all he's taught me, is to stay off drugs."