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Do you have a non-programmer in your life? A boss or coworker who just doesn't get why you throw running chainsaws at them?
Well send them this[^].
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Most of my programmer colleagues are non-programmers. Does it count? 
Veni, vidi, vici.
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No! It's part of your job's description (the small letters on page 456...)! 
I'm not questioning your powers of observation; I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. (V)
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CPallini wrote: Most of my programmer colleagues are non-programmers. Does it count?
Unfortunately I have been in that situation a few times. 
The report of my death was an exaggeration - Mark Twain
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
I'm on-line therefore I am.
JimmyRopes
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Here's one that is easier to understand[^]! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-----
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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I need that sticker and a spanner to throw too.
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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Wow, now that has universal value!
Veni, vidi, vici.
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Thanks, now the email notification of this post just interrupted me implementing this nuclear plant safety state machine I am working on.
Where was I again ? Ah, yes,
if (aKernelTemperature > TCriticalLevel5) {
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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Well, as long as it wasn't anything important... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-----
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Or was that supposed to be < ...
Hmm. Oh well, time for coffee. I'm sure the testers would catch it.
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I might leave a comment in the code though, as the regression test did not catch last time in Chernobyl.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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Comments? Tests?
FFS, man up! Real programmers remove all comments before building and deploying direct to live. Double points if you don't archive the source code.
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Nah, they wanted to be extra sure and after the beta tests appended a series of gamma (ray) tests! 
GOTOs are a bit like wire coat hangers: they tend to breed in the darkness, such that where there once were few, eventually there are many, and the program's architecture collapses beneath them. (Fran Poretto)
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Reading some of the comments are just as fun as the actual comic strip.
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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The obtroll subthread is hilarious.
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Stolen, distributed amongst the devs at work and posted on FB.
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M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Now do I or do I not have the cojones to send that to my boss.
I wonder.
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I was in that exact situation last Friday and kept getting interrupted by the same twat through the day about a poxy video conferencing system.
Eventually I gave up on what I was working on, swore very loudly and pressed the eject button.....
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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Yay!! Happy monday morning to everyone... I've just started my week editing code written by an intern back in 2006...
Is there someone out there who's starting his/her week worst than me?
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My week started with a visit to the dentist. Probably not the worst way to start a week, but still pretty crappy.
What is this talk of release? I do not release software. My software escapes leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
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Not the worst way? What could possibly be worse?
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Alimentary my dear Watson.
You could be visiting your proctologist.
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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Or you find out the hard way, that your dentist moonlights as a proctologist 
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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SoMad wrote: that your dentist moonlights as a proctologist
... 'moonlights' .... that must be handy for him! 
"State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful"
Chris C-B
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