|
As a couple of people on here know, I have just got me a sub-contracting job to go out to homes and small businesses to fix up their computer problems.
Just filled out a bunch of forms basically stating thet they sre Jesus and I am just below pond scum. Push comes to shove they have everything in their corner and I'm bending over and spreading my arse cheeks wide.
So filled that out without issue, scanned in the drivers licence and took a couple of photos for the lanyard I will have top wear when I go on site.
There is an issue, I'm not smiling. Thing is there are about 2 photos of me smiling ever, they are both from before the age of 4 and I think I only have 1. I just don't smile, I'll laugh when the mood hits but a smile is only a result of me laughing and when laughing stops the smile is gone.
They're going to get back to me to see if I have to have a fake smile photo. If required the result will be Retarded Man or Sex Offender, it ain't going to be pretty.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
|
|
|
|
|
Want me to come and tickle you?
|
|
|
|
|
_Josh_ wrote: Want me to come and tickle you?
Would you like to try?
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
|
|
|
|
|
|
<chant>
Man..ki..ni...
Man..ki..ni...
Man..ki..ni...
</chant>
|
|
|
|
|
|
You wait til you get your first MVP... 
|
|
|
|
|
See my joke above- and make sure you've got a camera poised 
MVVM # - I did it My Way
___________________________________________
Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011
.\\axxx
(That's an 'M')
|
|
|
|
|
Michael Martin wrote: I just don't smile, I'll laugh when the mood hits but a smile is only a result of me laughing and when laughing stops the smile is gone.
Same here. People sometimes come up to me at parties, and say "Why so glum" or "Cheer up,. it might never happen"
I tell them to f*** off and mind their own business.
That sometimes makes me smile.
MVVM # - I did it My Way
___________________________________________
Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011
.\\axxx
(That's an 'M')
|
|
|
|
|
Let me think about that, nope I don't think I have any photos of myself smiling, not that I don't smile, I do lots. I just don't take photos of myself.
Oi it's good that you have at least got some work, hope it works out for you.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
|
|
|
|
|
Given my user name, it should come as no surprise, that I am not a big smiler either  . When I have to produce a smile for a photo, there are no teeth showing - I just cannot do that  .
Good luck with the job.
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
|
|
|
|
|
SoMad wrote: Given my user name
And here a thought your username was derived from name and surname 
Wel at least there are one and a half pictures of Soren Madsen smiling where you can see teeth according to Google[/\] 
O and congratz on the medal, thought you were only a programmer 
Søren Madsen (born May 31, 1976) is a Danish rower who won a bronze medal at the 2000 Summer Olympics. He was born in Middelfart. In the 2000 Olympics, he was a member of the Danish boat which finished third in the lightweight coxless fours event.
Loading signature...
. . . Please Wait . . .
|
|
|
|
|
CBadger wrote: And here a thought your username was derived from name and surname
Perhaps that is only half the truth. 
Most of those pictures showing up on the Google link are actually of the actor Michael Madsen[^]
Yeah, I am afraid I am not the rower either. I just could not bring myself to participate in the "lightweight coxless fours" event. 
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
|
|
|
|
|
SoMad wrote: Most of those pictures showing up on the Google link are actually of the actor Michael Madsen
So your father then?
SoMad wrote: Yeah, I am afraid I am not the rower either.
What?! 
SoMad wrote: I just could not bring myself to participate in the "lightweight coxless fours" event.
You must be SoMad
Loading signature...
. . . Please Wait . . .
|
|
|
|
|
I'm happy to hear that you're so excited with your new job.
But at least it must be better than your old one.
- Another man that look s retarded when he smiles.
Politicians are always realistically manoeuvering for the next election. They are obsolete as fundamental problem-solvers.
Buckminster Fuller
|
|
|
|
|
Michael Martin wrote: go out to homes and small businesses to fix up their computer problems.
This just registered with me - you're going to be rolling up to people with computer problems and help 'em out?
Old Dear: "Well, It just came up with an error"
MM "What do you mean, an error? What Farking error you sunshine, didn't you write it the f*** down?"
Hopefully you'll be in the Xmas spirit !
Seriously, Good luck! Sounds better than the previous labour - although I guess there you didn't have to smile..
MVVM # - I did it My Way
___________________________________________
Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011
.\\axxx
(That's an 'M')
|
|
|
|
|
_Maxxx_ wrote: Hopefully you'll be in the Xmas spirit !
Bundaberg?
Politicians are always realistically manoeuvering for the next election. They are obsolete as fundamental problem-solvers.
Buckminster Fuller
|
|
|
|
|
|
The cricket 2nd test result doesn't do it for you either? Think of beer; doesn't that make you smile?
If there is one thing more dangerous than getting between a bear and her cubs it's getting between my wife and her chocolate.
|
|
|
|
|
I think my first offering will be speed braille?
Music appreciation for the deaf?
|
|
|
|
|
Mike Hankey wrote: speed braille
Do you use a belt sander as a trainer? Will the graduates clear the drive up ATM terminal faster?
Will Rogers never met me.
|
|
|
|
|
Roger Wright wrote: Do you use a belt sander as a trainer?
Training device
Roger Wright wrote: Will the graduates clear the drive up ATM terminal faster?
That is certainly a goal, but we first have to get braille speedometers so they know how fast they're going. 
|
|
|
|
|
I imagine we'll have to deal with a slew of new checkstand newspaper articles, too, as your students discover the secret messages left by aliens in stucco walls...
Will Rogers never met me.
|
|
|
|
|
SETI ain't got nothing on my students.
|
|
|
|
|
Anyone could recommend one based on personal experiences?
Thank you all! 
|
|
|
|
General 
News 
Suggestion 
Question 
Bug 
Answer 
Joke 
Praise 
Rant 
Admin 
Submit an article or tip
