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You are doing it all wrong. Let me show you the correct way to do this.
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Complaining is short for 'Communist explaining' 
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With SWMBO any explaining is wasted effort. 
If she does understand, she accused me of lying or making it up
Zaphod.
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Because they're dead.
(This joke is courtesy of Herself)
But I liked it.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Have to like that dry British humour. 
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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
modified 15-Aug-21 10:08am.
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Because the ![Elephant | [mastadon]](https://codeproject.global.ssl.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/elephant.gif) sat on it?
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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This might be totally inappropriate, but I've seen my cat play with dead things... So it depends?!? 
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Would you consider Hobbes dead or alive?
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The bones would just clutter up the house.
Zaphod.
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Au contraire, they make very good pets - no feeding expenses, no veterinary bills, no walks, and they neither bark at night nor scratch the furniture. 
The only problem is that the larger ones won't fit in your house.
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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he only problem is that the larger ones won't fit in your house. That goes for classical pets as well. Well known joke: Q: How do you get a St.Bernhard into a beetle? A: You take it in as a puppy.
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Do you remember the pet rock?
The difficult we do right away...
...the impossible takes slightly longer.
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Yes. Introducing the pet dinosaur.
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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Nowadays, we rather have PET bottles.
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I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
Real programmers use butterflies
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I can beat that: Last time I was in a gym it was at Uni for a Hawkwind concert ...
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Last time I was in a gym was 1961.
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That was before the first time I was in a gym - I was only two in '61! 
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Have you developed into more today?
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Well, I've got a lot larger, and have much better control over bowel movements ... so in at least some ways I have improved.
On the down side, I have also learned to talk and type - both of which have annoyed some people quite considerably over the years! 
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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If anyone makes critical remarks, you can blame the other one, can't you?
You should be thankful that you are never alone!
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I was an imaginary friend when I was a child ...
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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If you find another imaginary person to multiply with, you will end up with something real. Sadly, it probably will be negative.
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