|
Don't know any Somali. 
|
|
|
|
|
One day an employee came in to work with both his ears bandaged.
When his boss asked him what happened, he explained: "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron instead of the phone!"
"Well," the boss said, "that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"They called back."
/ravi
|
|
|
|
|
Good one reminds me of another joke
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird sh*t!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
|
|
|
|
|
ROFL! 
/ravi
|
|
|
|
|
ROFL... Coincidentally I just told that joke here (onsite) in celebration of International Talk Like a Pirate Day... BEFORE opening CP!!
|
|
|
|
|
(?) Not sure if this is the correct software I am looking for
Got myself a barcode scanner for I think USD$18.00 last week from China. Was online ordering stuff with the kids a couple of weeks before that when I noticed them going cheap. The thought was I could get some software and scan in Serial Numbers of items around the house for insurance purposes and also for parts when building computery stuff.
So now that I have the parts for my NAS I thought I should catalogue the parts before putting them into the case. Motherboard, CPU, 2 x 8GB PC3-17000 G-Skill RAM, 3 x Western Digital 2TB Caviar Black HDD and 5 x Seagate Barracuda 3TB HDD.
What software have any of you used and recommend? Free preferred but will spend a few bucks if good.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
|
|
|
|
|
Excel ? Or do you own a _lot_ of valuable things?
/Edit : the barcode scanner replaces the keyboard, by sending keystrokes to the operating system. In general, these are the numbers on the bar code, but you can usually program how this should be interpreted and sent. So you need no "special" software for handling the scanner.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb
|
|
|
|
|
Rage wrote: Excel ?
Will Excel store the barcode or serial number from the scan?
Rage wrote: Or do you own a _lot_ of valuable things?
No, it's really for tracking computer parts as they are more likely to bust under warranty and I can tell what it is before pulling the computer apart.
Also I don't plan on being robbed, but if I was I'd be elephanted if I could tell them anything useful on the stolen goods.
It's a 127cm Samsung Plasma TV, no I don't know what elephanting model it is let alone the serial number.
That'd be the discussion with the police.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
|
|
|
|
|
Michael Martin wrote: Will Excel store the barcode or serial number from the scan?
Yes, see my edit.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb
|
|
|
|
|
Most modern barcode scanners pretend to be a keyboard by default, so you can scan the article number directly into you favorite program: Excel should work well, or Word, or throw up a quick DB app in your preferred language. Most of the actual inventory packages I have seen over the years have been total overkill for a simple household inventory - and I know one electronic design company whose entire inventory, including pick- and build- lists were done on Excel using macros... 
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
|
|
|
|
|
OriginalGriff wrote: Most modern barcode scanners pretend to be a keyboard by default, so you can scan the article number directly into you favorite program: Excel should work well, or Word...
Thanks for the barcode scanner tip, but your recommendation of using Excel or Word isn't flashy or sexy. I want on screen pizzaz when using my shiny new barcode scanner. I mean really, it's all about justifying the purchase of said barcode scanner cause you just know I'll geta You're such a wanker comment from the Missus.
OriginalGriff wrote: ...or throw up a quick DB app in your preferred language.
Didn't know they had a Strine compiler available these days.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
|
|
|
|
|
Michael Martin wrote: Didn't know they had a Strine compiler available these days.
'Course they do!
private static numbaah GooDayMate()
{
while (!Worries)
{
ChuckAnotherShrimpOnTheBarbie();
try
{
if (!FallingDownDrunk)
{
System.Shiela.CrackAnotherTinnie(ForUsWillya);
}
}
catch (FostersPassedException FeckItCobber)
{
System.Shiela.Divorce();
}
}
}
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
|
|
|
|
|
while (!TearsInEyesFromLaughing)
{
DoEvents();
}
Vote5();
|
|
|
|
|
OriginalGriff wrote: ChuckAnotherShrimpOnTheBarbie
Hoages has got a lot to answer for.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
Inventory Software? I'll have to check on the shelves . . .
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
|
|
|
|
|
W∴ Balboos wrote: Inventory Software? I'll have to check on the shelves . . .
So did you find anything? Shelves even?
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
|
|
|
|
|
That's all fine, except - if you give him the last one you'll be out of stock... 
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
|
|
|
|
|
Michael Martin wrote: What software have any of you used and recommend?
It depends on what you need.
I have a permanent account with LibraryThing[^] that I got when they were starting out. I scan all my books with their smartphone app and it saves it all online for me.
I've used Collectorz.com[^] to catalog other stuff.
|
|
|
|
|
Grr, grr and thrice grr!
I had an interview a week back. It went well and I just got feedback, and the people were impressed and thought I would be great.
The frogging IIa's however have pulled the elphant budget. So no job.
Archer's security device [8]
speramus in juniperus
|
|
|
|
|
There is one going in Pompey, if you undersell your alcohol consumption...
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
|
|
|
|
|
I don't follow your twitter feed but it sure seems like you are interviewing all the time. Perhaps you should just keep a job once you get it.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
|
|
|
|
|
Nagy Vilmos wrote: The frogging IIa's however have pulled the elphant budget
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb
|
|
|
|
|
Rage wrote: frogging
Assume KSS version of rude word.
Rage wrote: IIa's
Bean counters, or accountants. See this[^] thread.
Rage wrote: elphant
KSS version of rude word, started after MM was banned three times in the same day for using the unexpurgated version.
Basically, the accountants have killed the project budget so the position no longer exists as there is no funding available.
(Or, they thought he was useless but don't want to say that in case they might need him later)
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
|
|
|
|
|
OriginalGriff wrote: started after MM was banned three times in the same day for using the unexpurgated version.
Thanks, but hey, I am the one to explain that to others here, not the other way round. 
OriginalGriff wrote: they thought he was useless but don't want to say that because they are polite in case they might need him later
FTFY.
Thanks Griff !
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb
|
|
|
|
|
Rage wrote: OriginalGriff wrote: started after MM was banned three times in the same day for using the unexpurgated version.
Thanks, but hey, I am the one to explain that to others here, not the other way round. 
I reckon I need to replace Bob up in the top left hand corner.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
|
|
|
|
General 
News 
Suggestion 
Question 
Bug 
Answer 
Joke 
Praise 
Rant 
Admin 
Submit an article or tip
