|
Well, you've got one thing over many would-be writers. You are actually writing.
I'm a reader, and have only toyed with the idea of fiction writing. I tell you that so that you understand that I come from the consumer standpoint and not the standpoint of a fellow craftsman. I do know that most writing is rewriting, so please don't take anything I say as discouragement. I appreciate anyone who attempts this task.
I think if the death of the man's wife is going to be critical to either the story or his character development and you might want to treat it differently. I personally discard authors who spend time leading up to an event and then slide through it too quickly and then explain on the other side the ramifications of the event. That's as bad as over-describing the event but on the other side.
By the end of this set of paragraphs, I don't feel anything for the wife. I feel sorry for the man, sure, but that's just compassion not empathy. I'm sorry he had to go through that and I know I wouldn't want to...however it would be a better book if I felt something less callous toward the woman.
If I had met her, in the book, and liked some aspect of her I'd probably feel some loss myself. Maybe that would be bad for a mystery, I don't know. If you wrote it up and didn't like it you could always discard it. But this might as well be a newspaper report rather than a pivotal moment in a man's life.
To put it another way: "a drunk had crossed the line and that was that" is telling me that the man is trying to wrap his mind around the meaninglessness of the death and the rest of the paragraphs tell me that he is failing. However that's not really a book I want to read. The man is extremely centered around himself and that's not really the only way people react to such a death. You hold up no moments or qualities of the woman he lost so we can see that he's mourning not just his own loss but her loss.
She lost her life. She lost all the moments she was going to have. She lost all that she is ever going to be, and has put finality on all she ever was. She will have no more children, no more parties, no more joy. He might well be mourning what she was robbed of as well as his own loss. If it feels like that is too raw then it might make even more sense to write it. Her last moments were horror filled, knowing that she could do nothing to stop the accident as it happened and knowing that she would never hold her husband again. Maybe she died quickly, and maybe she bled to death hoping that someone would arrive in time not quite believing that this would be her last seconds to think, feel, and regret whatever she had to regret. Maybe he feels all of that and more and can't stand the bitter unfairness.
I'd rather not read the self-centered version. If he's going to refuse to understand his wife's loss from more than his own self then I'm not going to end up liking him. At which point you are better off skipping ahead and referring back to this section of the change in his life but only in a vague way so we don't have to experience the raw emotion or the self-pity of the character. I loathe self-pity. I stopped reading Stephen R. Donaldson over that.
If all that doesn't make sense, then don't write it that way. Different readers like different things, and I look for different things when I read sci-fi than when I read drama, or mystery.
_____________________________
Give a man a mug, he drinks for a day. Teach a man to mug...
|
|
|
|
|
I can't get the site to load at all 
|
|
|
|
|
|
Didn't think of that 
Either way, it's working now. 
|
|
|
|
|
Just finished watching it, and man, it's an amazing movie. The storyline sounds boringly average - plane crashes, guy gets stranded on island, and what happens next is what's all the movie about.
But the way they've played it on the screen, including the acting is very unreal. I would like to say some more, but in case someone reading this hasn't seen it yet, I don't want to spoil it for them.
I think it's one of the very best movies I've seen. If you haven't seen it, I urge that you do.
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
|
|
|
|
|
I only watched it because people had said it was good. I just didn't get it. It wasn't terrible but certainly was not a great movie.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
|
|
|
|
|
The place where he went to deliver the package after 4 years, did you notice that the name of that establishment had changed? And you're left to guess which road he chose at the end, which I don't want to spoil here. There's something about all that being connected.
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
|
|
|
|
|
Rajesh R Subramanian wrote: best movies I've seen
I agree with you there. I'm hearing that Tom Hanks' new movie 'Captain Phillips' is his best since 'Cast Away', looking forward to seeing it.
|
|
|
|
|
One of my favs! The only part that irks me was how his wife handled it at the end. Understandable, but still...
- S
50 cups of coffee and you know it's on!
Code, follow, or get out of the way.
|
|
|
|
|
I thought that the emotional shock she had to go through would have driven her nuts. It will be far too difficult to think straight in a situation like that. Even then, it's a wonderful flick.
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
|
|
|
|
|
If you get the DVD, there are alternate endings.
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks, I think I will do that.
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
|
|
|
|
|
Yeah I thought it was one of the best I had ever seen also and am waiting for the sequel, there's got to be a sequel they can't just let it end there!
|
|
|
|
|
Have you not seen the sequele[^], when he sue FedEx? A complelte courtroom drama. 
|
|
|
|
|
Yeah I think I've seen that one kinda of an oldie but good!
|
|
|
|
|
Really nice movie. And don't forget the second best character in the movie - The Basketball. It's really emotional when it left him after the storm. 
I also remember that scene when he first "creates" fire on the island, how he reacted like he invented something. He is a great actor.
|
|
|
|
|
When you think that all he had for him in four years of isolation was that volleyball, it makes sense that he lies on that raft and cry like he's lost a loved one after that ball drifted away. I think if not for that volleyball, he would have probably gone mad because of solitude.
Another amazing scene is after he comes back to Memphis, and when he takes a look at the gas lighter. He clicks it a few times to see how easy it's to make a fire while in the civilised world!
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
|
|
|
|
|
Agree, the connection and bond he builds with Wilson[^]....
It is just one of those movies that draws you in and even though it is not fast paced or challenging on the mind, there is just something that holds you to see what's next.
|
|
|
|
|
Is there a good reason that they called it "Cast Away", meaning to get rid of something, rather than "Castaway", someone left in the middle of nowhere?
Veni, vidi, abiit domum
|
|
|
|
|
I'm not sure. Perhaps they thought that the terms can be used interchangeably?
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
|
|
|
|
|
At least from my POV. People who know me know that I am listening music with the same commonness as Nagy is drinking gin, and I love Youtube to do so - Not because it is free, rather than the suggested videos on the right hand side of the current video - These suggestions lead me to not-so-well-known cover /& acoustic versions of great songs, for example Springsteen's Radio Nowhere[^], Brian Fallon | TGA's Old Haunts[^] or I even discover completly new cover artists, this young lady for example[^].
Looking at these great songs I think that maybe a part of my generation can grow up with good music, played by actual artists / musicians and having actual lyrics.
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colon."
|
|
|
|
|
|
I have only two rational explanations for today's events:
0: Major electomagnetic disruption from solar flares
1: The last round of MS updates has finally hit my customer's workstations
I've had to switch to 'plan B' more than a few times today!  TGIF!
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
|
|
|
|
|
kmoorevs wrote: today's events
What events?
Did I miss something?
|
|
|
|
|
And the winner for 'Best Use For A Cat' is: Stacy Haiduk[^]. Brilliant!
Will Rogers never met me.
|
|
|
|
General 
News 
Suggestion 
Question 
Bug 
Answer 
Joke 
Praise 
Rant 
Admin 
Submit an article or tip
