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A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said: "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double." The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion." The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said "I would like a million dollars." The genie again granted his wish and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, "Scare me half to death."
/ravi
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Ravi Bhavnani wrote: Then the man said,
[edit]I want a divorce where I have to give all my money and housing to my spouse.[/edit]
Note the precise wording of "spouse". 
Marc
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Hmmm, I am not sure you should leave too much up to interpretation. Those genies can be pretty unreliable... 
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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[let's-ruin-the-joke-completely-by-commenting-it-as-if-it-mattered]
Does not "ex-wife" imply he is already divorced ?
[/let's-ruin-the-joke-completely-by-commenting-it-as-if-it-mattered]
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb
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Ah, that explains "ex-lax".
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Marc Clifton wrote: Note the precise wording of "spouse".
Along those lines, I had been thinking -- "I'd like my ex-spouse to get a million dollars" etc.
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Not terrible, but I think I would have opted for a more pleasant way to be pushed half way to being dead. Something not KSS. 
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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Well, my alteration to the punchline at least leaves the wife alive. But what I can't figure out is, does the man end up with the 2 mansions and the $2 mil, or does the wife have to give him double of what she has, therefore $4M and 4 mansions. Still, seems like she ends up alive with 1 mansion and $1m. And I need to go to bed, this is absurd.
Marc
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Nice one! Where did you say this cave was?
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He should have asked for a 14 inch chocolate as the 3rd wish. 
[modified for KSS friendliness]
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
modified 15-Oct-13 3:18am.
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If God had meant us to use Twitter, he'd have __________________________________________
A virtual prize for the most amusing answer IMO
Feel free to use the negative (i.e. he wouldn't have ...)
MVVM # - I did it My Way
___________________________________________
Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011
.\\axxx
(That's an 'M')
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intolerant gods have wrought underwear's tyranny
Google CEO, Erich Schmidt: "I keep asking for a product called Serendipity. This product would have access to everything ever written or recorded, know everything the user ever worked on and saved to his or her personal hard drive, and know a whole lot about the user's tastes, friends and predilections." 2004, USA Today interview
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Yes. Yes they have.
(I got the W 'upside down' as I was thinking "wanted us to" while writing "Meant us to")
That probably says more about my state of mind than I'd like to know.
MVVM # - I did it My Way
___________________________________________
Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011
.\\axxx
(That's an 'M')
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Limited Stupidity to 140 characters?
cheers,
Chris Maunder
The Code Project | Co-founder
Microsoft C++ MVP
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...written a much shorter book.
"(1) Be excellent to each other. (2) Neither a borrower nor a lender be. (3) Stay in school. (4) The dude abides. (5) Go Red Sox!"
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If God had meant us to use Twitter, he'd have made sure the prize for this competition was real.
MCAD
---
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Hey! that's virtually funny 
MVVM # - I did it My Way
___________________________________________
Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011
.\\axxx
(That's an 'M')
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See here for your prize!
MVVM # - I did it My Way
___________________________________________
Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011
.\\axxx
(That's an 'M')
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_Maxxx_ wrote: If God had meant us to use Twitter, he'd have
given us thumbs shaped like tiny cones to fit tiny keyboards; He would also have shortened our attention spans and reduced IQs to one digit.
Will Rogers never met me.
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that called evolution and the yoof is heading that way ... what was I saying?
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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... sent us a tweet: "We apologise for the inconvenience"
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
English doesn't borrow from other languages.
English follows other languages down dark alleys, knocks them over and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
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"One: Thou shall not tweet"
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H2G2: "So Long And Thanks For All The Fish", DNA
It's God's last message to his creation, normally found written in letters of fire on the side of the Quentulus Quazgar Mountains.
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
English doesn't borrow from other languages.
English follows other languages down dark alleys, knocks them over and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
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