|
Don't p--- him off! 
/ravi
|
|
|
|
|
A Happy Birthday down to Oz! ![Beer | [beer]](https://codeproject.global.ssl.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/beer.gif)
|
|
|
|
|
Happy Elephanting Birthday, old fart! 
Will Rogers never met me.
|
|
|
|
|
Oh good, my favourite time of year, apart from the tennis.
Happy Birthday you ******* ****!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Happy birthday, MM! ![Jig | [Dance]](https://codeproject.global.ssl.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/jig.gif)
/ravi
|
|
|
|
|
As regular readers will know, I always have cars that are about ten years old. Last newish car I bought was 13 years ago, and even that was about 4 years old then.
I have just picked up the hire car the insurance have sorted out for me, it is a year old Seat Leon and it is the most complicated thing I have ever been near.
The hieroglyphics on the stalk controls are bewildering, there are buttons all over the steering wheel. Lights twinkle everywhere indicating god knows what, and there are buttons alongside the hand break I couldn't begin to guess at the function of. As for the full colour touchscreen DAB radio / satnav / phone controls / god alone knows what else.
It took me about 5 minutes to turn the rear windscreen wiper off and I'm not sure I know how to get it back on again should I need it.
My name is Chris Elston and I am functionally stupid.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
|
|
|
|
|
Your tale reminds me of Bjorne Stroustrop's comment:I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone.
bill
"What Turing gave us for the first time (and without Turing you just couldn't do any of this) is he gave us a way of thinking about and taking seriously and thinking in a disciplined way about phenomena that have, as I like to say, trillions of moving parts.
Until the late 20th century, nobody knew how to take seriously a machine with a trillion moving parts. It's just mind-boggling." Daniel C. Dennett
|
|
|
|
|
I had a similar problem with the hire Ford Fester I had this summer.
I had to stop and read the manual to find out how to activate the rear window wiper...and don;t get me started on the two useless (but annoying) buttons on the cruise control.
It's not you: it's the manufacturers valuing style over function.
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
English doesn't borrow from other languages.
English follows other languages down dark alleys, knocks them over and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
|
|
|
|
|
Meh, I once spent 15 minutes looking for the control and reading through the manual to see how to turn on the rear wiper of my Senator.
It was only then I discovered the awful truth.
It didn't have a read wiper.
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
|
|
|
|
|
Dalek Dave wrote: rear wiper
Rear Wiper[^]?
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-----
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
Greg King
-----
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin, Actress
|
|
|
|
|
Freudian Slope
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
|
|
|
|
|
Read Wiper[^]
It is about all it is good for.
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
|
|
|
|
|
At least you haven't damaged the car yet. I did a really nice one:
My own little Ford was going for a checkup at the garage and I had booked a rental car while that was going on. A Volvo V70 just about twice the size of my own car. It was parked in the rental company's garage, which was VERY narrow - ALL the way back in the most faraway corner.
They just gave me the keys and told me to take the car, and I should have known better and asked them to take it outside for me. But NOOOOOO! Mr. Macho didn't want to appear like a sissy, so he had to take it out himself. And while I was easing the car from the parking spot trying to get it around a tight corner and out through the narrow gate, The left side of the car hit the corner of the gate. And a scratch the size of Grand Canyon was made all along the side of the car.
My name is Johnny J. and I am functionally stupid.
It IS the first and only time I've damaged a car that wasn't my own in such a manner, but the record of ripping out the side of a rental car BEFORE I EVEN GET IT OUT ON THE ROAD - that one will hopefully stand for many years to come. I don't plan on doing such a stupid thing ever again!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-----
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
Greg King
-----
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin, Actress
|
|
|
|
|
I was in a similar situation, the car was blocked in, had a metal post on one side but there was enough wriggle room.
Fortunately the bloke giving me the car said he would get it out, must have seen how I was eyeing it up.
I said thanks, my back and neck could do without all that right now.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
|
|
|
|
|
Reminds me of when I discovered that I no longer liked business travel.
I was staying in some 5 star Hotel Pulmann in Madrid - after a busy day I was looking forwad to a shower and the wretched thing took me 15 minute to figure out how to get it going.
There were no taps, just a bunch of buttons and marble everywhere.
I then realised that I would rather be staying in some homely B&B than the cold alienating 5 star dead hotel I was in.
Sometimes things are just overcomplicated.
That said I don't think I will ever be able to buy a car that does not have a reversing camera from now on in.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
|
|
|
|
|
So what is the wish for next year?? 
you want something inspirational??
|
|
|
|
|
More coding. More business ...
|
|
|
|
|
Getting More and more New Technology Artical's...
|
|
|
|
|
That I'm still breathing?
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
Those who seek perfection will only find imperfection
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
me, in pictures
|
|
|
|
|
Happy Birthday to CP! Yeah!
The wish for next year is more of the same as this year - keep up the good work Chris, Hamsters and other CP members!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
|
|
|
|
|
Vishy Anand Vs Magnus Carlsen
Who do you think?
|
|
|
|
|
Terrorist Etiquette
If you cut off the wrong guy's head you should apologize.
See: Oppsie![^]
If you are a terrorist who is killed by another terrorist do you still get the standard 70 virgins you do you get 140 - you know, sort of a bonus amount for the extra trouble?
|
|
|
|
|
MehGerbil wrote: et the standard 70 virgins
You wouldn't want virgins..you'd want right dirty whores.
|
|
|
|
|
Member Removed But you've got balls, I'll give you that!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-----
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
Greg King
-----
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin, Actress
|
|
|
|
General 
News 
Suggestion 
Question 
Bug 
Answer 
Joke 
Praise 
Rant 
Admin 
Submit an article or tip
