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Read Wiper[^]
It is about all it is good for.
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Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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At least you haven't damaged the car yet. I did a really nice one:
My own little Ford was going for a checkup at the garage and I had booked a rental car while that was going on. A Volvo V70 just about twice the size of my own car. It was parked in the rental company's garage, which was VERY narrow - ALL the way back in the most faraway corner.
They just gave me the keys and told me to take the car, and I should have known better and asked them to take it outside for me. But NOOOOOO! Mr. Macho didn't want to appear like a sissy, so he had to take it out himself. And while I was easing the car from the parking spot trying to get it around a tight corner and out through the narrow gate, The left side of the car hit the corner of the gate. And a scratch the size of Grand Canyon was made all along the side of the car.
My name is Johnny J. and I am functionally stupid.
It IS the first and only time I've damaged a car that wasn't my own in such a manner, but the record of ripping out the side of a rental car BEFORE I EVEN GET IT OUT ON THE ROAD - that one will hopefully stand for many years to come. I don't plan on doing such a stupid thing ever again!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
Greg King
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin, Actress
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I was in a similar situation, the car was blocked in, had a metal post on one side but there was enough wriggle room.
Fortunately the bloke giving me the car said he would get it out, must have seen how I was eyeing it up.
I said thanks, my back and neck could do without all that right now.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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Reminds me of when I discovered that I no longer liked business travel.
I was staying in some 5 star Hotel Pulmann in Madrid - after a busy day I was looking forwad to a shower and the wretched thing took me 15 minute to figure out how to get it going.
There were no taps, just a bunch of buttons and marble everywhere.
I then realised that I would rather be staying in some homely B&B than the cold alienating 5 star dead hotel I was in.
Sometimes things are just overcomplicated.
That said I don't think I will ever be able to buy a car that does not have a reversing camera from now on in.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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So what is the wish for next year?? 
you want something inspirational??
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More coding. More business ...
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Getting More and more New Technology Artical's...
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That I'm still breathing?
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
Those who seek perfection will only find imperfection
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
me, in pictures
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Happy Birthday to CP! Yeah!
The wish for next year is more of the same as this year - keep up the good work Chris, Hamsters and other CP members!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Vishy Anand Vs Magnus Carlsen
Who do you think?
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Terrorist Etiquette
If you cut off the wrong guy's head you should apologize.
See: Oppsie![^]
If you are a terrorist who is killed by another terrorist do you still get the standard 70 virgins you do you get 140 - you know, sort of a bonus amount for the extra trouble?
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MehGerbil wrote: et the standard 70 virgins
You wouldn't want virgins..you'd want right dirty whores.
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Member Removed But you've got balls, I'll give you that!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
Greg King
-----
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin, Actress
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3 cheers to CP!
![Beer | [beer]](https://www.codeproject.com/script/Forums/Images/beer.gif)
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...for that silly outburst in the Soapbox. I'm all better now, I've taken my medication (hick!) 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
Greg King
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin, Actress
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It's the SB you need to apologise to not advertising apologising here.
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Nah, it's just that I went a little crazy, and when I came back, I found myself here... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
Greg King
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin, Actress
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I told you: The RITALIN pills, not the other ones
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The blue ones, you mean? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
Greg King
-----
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin, Actress
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I seem to think that someone has had a liquid lunch, hey it's Friday...
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Cheers! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
Greg King
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin, Actress
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A lady walks into Tiffany's.
She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farted.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little whoops and prays that a sales person wasn't anywhere near.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Good looking as well.
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Tiffany's, he politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?
'Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'
He answers, "Madam.. if you farted just looking at it - you're going to sh*t when I tell you the price.."
speramus in juniperus
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Who did you piss off, I just gave this 5 as it elicited a chuckle and noticed the score of 4.5 something, you had been down voted for this !
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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