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(splelling corrected)
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Published under the terms of CPOPL (CodeProject Open Poetic License) © Bill Woodruff, 2014
The House, the Tools
I wanted to build a house; the glorious warm and dry days of spring invited me to start the work, and I wanted my family safe and warm in that house before the fierce storms of winter. You might say my family's future welfare, and that of people that depended on me, depended on getting that house safely constructed before winter.
I went to the owner-builder store and purchased what I had heard was an excellent all-purpose house-building kit. Friends had recommended this kit to me because the company that made it had just come out, for the first time, with an affordable kit for people like me who were building houses, not palatial mansions. And the company had a great reputation for its kits for building mansions and airports and very complex structures.
My friends thought I was lucky to get in on the ground floor, so to speak, with this new kit that would, they felt, be the best affordable kit available for me.
Yeah, I bought the kit, and I had so many ideas and sketches in my notebooks that had piled up over the years … a kitchen with a special enclosed sun room attached … a deck that wrapped around that fantastic oak in the backyard near the kids' rooms.
In the kit were many wonderful tools; these tools were organized in a special kind of 'intelligent' toolbox. You pressed some buttons on the toolbox cover: then the tools re-arranged themselves inside the box. So, when you opened the toolbox, they would be lined up in the order you would most likely want to use them.
And, there was a special window, in the cover of the toolbox, where you could see inside the toolbox and see how, when you pushed a certain button, that rods and levers would move inside the box to arrange the tools.
For a while I was so fascinated by the movements of the rods and the levers, which moved in a hypnotic kind of precision and elegant interaction, that I just spent days pressing the buttons and watching how the tools were picked out of their hidden internal storage and placed, or how some of them were put back or altered in response to the sequence of my pressing the buttons.
Yes, that's right, the tools themselves were quite smart ! A little like one of those clever screwdrivers that let you easily change the tips without ever losing them … but, in reality, a whole lot more complex than that.
I started reading the manual that came with the kit then; I discovered that most of it was about the hidden codes that manipulated the tools, and about how the tools were moved and placed in the special shape-shifting compartments in the toolbox. I learned a lot about that toolbox and its structure, I can tell you that !
I had a revelation then … rather than just using the tools to build my house, I could be more productive if I learned to use these hidden codes to build custom tools that would then make the building so much simpler !
I don't know how many days drifted by as I pressed my face against that little window into the toolbox and pressed buttons that over-rode the tools that came with the toolbox and created new tools. It was kind of hypnotic almost, the sense of power that came over me … the perfection of that discrete logical-mechanical universe !
I discovered that there was an almost geometric order in the way that certain tools were like 'parents' that could be combined to produce 'child' tools which could inherit some of the behaviors of these 'parents.'
I finally finished my set of custom tools; I was ready to start building !
So, I called the contractor and told him I wanted to prepare the site and pour the foundation as soon as possible.
What he said kind of shocked me: "Are you crazy, the winter rains are going to start next month … no way you're going build any house until next year !"
Yeah, that's right, I had forgotten about the inevitable coming of winter … busy as I was with my custom tool codes.
I called up the Company that made the kit … not to complain: oh, let me assure you I was so satisfied with the aesthetic experience of playing with their kit that complaint was the furthest thing from my mind …
What I just wanted to say to the Company was a simple 'Thank you' … for opening my mind to an intellectual adventure comparable to living in a foreign country.
I was very surprised to find out the Company had gone out of business !
Can you figure that out ?
“I'm an artist: it's self evident that word implies looking for something all the time without ever finding it in full. It is the opposite of saying : ‘I know all about it. I've already found it.’
As far as I'm concerned, the word means: ‘I am looking. I am hunting for it. I am deeply involved.’” Vincent Van Gogh
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tl;dr : someone buys a kit to build a house during the summer, plays with the intelligent toolbox in the kit during months, and the house does no get started.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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Rage wrote: tl;dr
Too bad: Bill's missive are always worth a read; he has an ability to turn a phrase sadly lacking here at times. 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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I honestly did not get it. Plus I am as poetic as a solid piece of rock, so I just wanted to warn other simians like me it is not worth the read, let people with true brain cells get that sorted among themselves.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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I suspect that hew has been working with and learning a new tool set or language, and engrossed and busy with it. Now he is ready to build the application - and the language / tools are no longer supported.
</Executive summary>
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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 OK, this completely flew past me. Now it could make sense, thanks.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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One of the delights for the creator of imaginative writing is to see what it means to other people, or to observe the fact that others even assume there is meaning in it 
thanks, Bill
“I'm an artist: it's self evident that word implies looking for something all the time without ever finding it in full. It is the opposite of saying : ‘I know all about it. I've already found it.’
As far as I'm concerned, the word means: ‘I am looking. I am hunting for it. I am deeply involved.’” Vincent Van Gogh
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Evening Bill!
How are you this fine day? (Well, fine there if a little cloudy, by the look of it - it's raining here, quelle surprise)
How is Thailand doing - still under military rule or has it been relaxed? All news from there has been knocked off the TV by some chap attempting a free meal during a ball game, and some Scot not winning a different ball game!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Rage wrote: I am as poetic as a solid piece of rock, so I just wanted to warn other simians like me it is not worth the read
Rage, my friend, it's interesting that you react to imaginative content on the Lounge by feeling a need to warn others not to read it.
I wonder if you feel "defensive" when you are around people who speak imaginatively, as well. When you don't have the "inner freedom" to just ignore what you are not interested in, it suggests you have an issue, a conflict within yourself.
The good news is that the imagination can be developed ! It's a human birth-right that's as innate as learning to speak. And, developing it in no way takes anything away from your cognitive facilities for analysis, or logical deduction; your "scientific self" will not shrivel There's good scientific evidence that developing the imagination is possible at any age.
All that is required to develop imagination is a little attention, surrender, and an "inner willingness" to listen to what is happening in the mind.
See if this poem by Robert Graves speaks to you:
In Broken Images
He is quick, thinking in clear images;
I am slow, thinking in broken images.
He becomes dull, trusting to his clear images;
I become sharp, mistrusting my broken images,
Trusting his images, he assumes their relevance;
Mistrusting my images, I question their relevance.
Assuming their relevance, he assumes the fact,
Questioning their relevance, I question the fact.
When the fact fails him, he questions his senses;
When the fact fails me, I approve my senses.
He continues quick and dull in his clear images;
I continue slow and sharp in my broken images.
He in a new confusion of his understanding;
I in a new understanding of my confusion.
Robert Graves This poem has spoken deeply to me almost every year of my life for over fifty-eight years: what it has "said" to me has been as constantly changing in meaning as ... a river
“I'm an artist: it's self evident that word implies looking for something all the time without ever finding it in full. It is the opposite of saying : ‘I know all about it. I've already found it.’
As far as I'm concerned, the word means: ‘I am looking. I am hunting for it. I am deeply involved.’” Vincent Van Gogh
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BillWoodruff wrote: it suggests you have an issue, a conflict within yourself.
Not sure about this, I am just driven by efficiency. You could argue that the mere fact I am posting about such a drivel on a programming forum is not the last of a paradox, which would be a fair point. But everyone needs a break.
BillWoodruff wrote: the imagination can be developed
I have to disagree : There are imaginative people and not imaginative people. I am deeply hermetical to every kind of poetry or imagination or artistical work. I have got several cynicism awards in the past. Plus, you multiply everything you like by zero, the result remains zero, so there can only be development if there is a start and if the field is fecund.
BillWoodruff wrote: an "inner willingness" to listen to what is happening in the mind
That is definitely the part that I do not have.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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That poem reminds me of a recent conversation with a manager - they said 'if we do X every day [instead of weekly], it'll still work, won't it?', to which I replied 'I don't know without checking'.
She insisted that it would, I wouldn't guarantee it, back & forth for a good couple of minutes.
It now happens every day, with, as yet no problems (but I'm still not convinced it won't come back to bite us).
Regards, Stewart
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BillWoodruff wrote: Rage, my friend, it's interesting that you...
Whew!
Personally I prefer the Griff's Notes version.
I'm retired. There's a nap for that...
- Harvey
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Translation: "I don't understand it, so it's bad; stay away".
I'm afraid to say that you just lost a lot of cred.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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A chance I was not after credit at all...
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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Um, I think you'll find that no houses were harmed, bought, nor even existed during filming.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Lucky for you, you were to be both the designer of the house, the architect if you will, and the builder.
Having to build houses for "the man", with no special toolkits (far too expensive, we have to make do with tools familiar to even the most ancient of builders - after all, it was good enough for them) my days, weeks and months merge into a frustration.
The foundations were laid many years ago - but the contractors who poured that lake of concrete have long since departed for new sites. There are all sorts of interesting looking features in the foundations - but nobody really knows what they do, or what they are for.
So, we started building. The ground floor was soon complete, with simple but effective windows, doors and air conditioning.
we were half way through putting on the roof, when "the man" asked how many rooms were on the first floor.
"First floor"? we queried, a knot of dread in our collective digestive systems. "There is no fist floor. It's a single story - as you requested."
But he's "the man" so the roof came off, and we built up the walls. Of course, they weren't really strong enough to take a second story, but we had deadlines...
finished the first floor, put on the roof. "Where's the fireplace in the lounge room?"
Now, we should have rebuilt the wall - but we had to get something done before winter, so we just used the tools at hand to build a chimney against the wall, knocking holes through ceiling and roof.
"The garage is too big - I think we'll turn it into a swimming pool."
"The toilet needs to be separate from the bathroom"
"Bigger bath, bigger shower"
the list grows faster than the house. other builders have now built much better houses in the neighbourhood 9which is where some of "the man"'s ideas come from, we think.
He's moved in (even though we warned him it wasn't safe) so of course now every change is urgent, gets done in a rush, and ends up causing more problems.
Now "the man" has just heard about something called "Extreme Building" - apparently there's two builders assigned to each job (I'd think they'd get in each other's way!) and all the builders have a meeting every day so they can tell each other how many bricks they've laid, or something like that. He reckons it's going to make us more efficient as we'll be able to just build stuff and change it when he doesn't like it, rather than having to actually design things first.
Sounds like a disaster, to me. Still, he has said he's going to buy us all some fancy new toolboxes...
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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Well done, Sir ! Got my vote.
At the kind of companies I worked for (Cricket, Adobe, AutoDesk) long ago, you might have heard something like this:
The Man: "look this is going to be insanely great: we just heard that contractor whose name we never mention is going to offer a house with a spiral slide from the master-bedroom on the top-floor down into a sunken Jacuzzi on the lower-level deck extension. now, I know we could do one better than that ... and ..."
cheers, Bill
“I'm an artist: it's self evident that word implies looking for something all the time without ever finding it in full. It is the opposite of saying : ‘I know all about it. I've already found it.’
As far as I'm concerned, the word means: ‘I am looking. I am hunting for it. I am deeply involved.’” Vincent Van Gogh
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Adobe I can imagine (presumably they also sent a builder around every couple of weeks to perform some maintenance work that involved you not being able to use the house for a while, and the only noticeable difference is that the rooms appeared to be slightly smaller?
AutoDesk, though, surprises me (and not only because they once gave me a free copy of 3D Studio!) I'd always thought of them as being the innovators.
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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"Bill says 'Chic deity teeming with corrosion'."(2,3,2,5)
Simple enough.
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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In god we trust.
Chic - In
deity - god
teeming with corrosion - t + rust = trust
bill - dollar bill has this written on it
Andy B
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Um.
What happened to "WE"? 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Can't pull the wool over your eyes eh? 
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Bill says
Chic IN
deity GOD
teeming WET
with corrosion RUST
US Dollar bills have this plastered upon them: IN GOD WE TRUST
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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...and family holidays coming up, I suggest that you prepare your children and read this book[^] to them!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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