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Quote: - even the ones I wrote.
I started work for a British aircraft company that will remain nameless but we were working on development of the MRCA (now known as the Tornado jet fighter). In took six months to get clearance and as a result, after about 4 months there, I had written a report (program documentation really but they called everything a report) on some stuff it was taken away and put in the "secure library". A couple of weeks later I had made some adjustments to some calculations and wanted to update it... "Sorry, you are not authorised to see this report." "But, I wrote it!" "Sorry, you don't have the right clearance, go away." "I had a choice of two actions. 1. Get my boss to check out the report, let me update it and he would check it back in - this would probably have got us both fired and or arrested under the Official Secrets Act - or 2. wait a couple of months for my clearance to come through. I did the latter... but what a load of cobblers!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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One that beats that, I was told this but don't doubt it's truth. A company that shall remain nameless were working on Radar returns of various materials, the final tests had to be done on the vehicle they were for so they ask for a test vehicle to be delivered to their test site. Now the ridiculous part some one I know happened to mention the vehicle a Harrier jet outside of the secure area a got a royal roasting for it. The odd part is how the Harrier was delivered slung under a Chinook flown at low(ish) level parallel to a local motorway at 8:00am it was supremely obvious to anyone that tests were going on with a Harrier (the shop was a radar specialist works!  ) as a Marx brother said 'Military Intelligence, now there is a contradiction in terms'
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Simple solution: get the f*u@#in' MCSA. 
(or Rambo all of them!)
THESE PEOPLE REALLY BOTHER ME!! How can they know what you should do without knowing what you want done?!?!
-- C++ FQA Lite
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On first reading I thought there was some security issue with giving you access - and was about to tell you to chill - then I realised you said "MCSA"
Whack on, mate. At least you have the qualification for that
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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Yeah, I'm concerned about building a "sustainable career in IT" after 35 years in the business...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: I'm concerned about building a "sustainable career in IT"
Then get a Microsoft Certified Solutions Associate (MCSA) certification.
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy.
I would agree with you but then we both would be wrong.
The report of my death was an exaggeration - Mark Twain
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
I'm on-line therefore I am.
JimmyRopes
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Hi All,
Today I had the 'joy' of battling with the (UK's) Dept of Work & Pensions. Who will not admit to being in the wrong (even if they are). Battled with a generally uncooperative agent who's English was a bit suspect, 'You need C/C++/Firmware & Embedded for this role', 'I have all of those', 'yes but your CV doesn't state them', 'Yes it does, what is the last thing on there?', 'Page Break and some dots', 'ah it sounds like you have a corrupted version of my CV, where did you download it?','Why do you want to know that?' and on...  This caused much muttering on my part does it sound like they haven't paid a subscription?
Got a call waiting for train saying a company I crossed off the list long ago want to interview for a post. So hopefully something is starting to go my way...
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You wait until you try their job search website - or the "in office" dedicated terminals. 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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They want everything done online, you try telling them that there web site doesn't work (404's everywhere) and then it gets fun. 
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Yeah - the worst bit is they think they are computer literate, but as soon as anything goes wrong...
And they don't like it when you tell them what they are doing wrong - especially if you are right! 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I swallow my pride when talking to them, yes/no answers, don't tell them every thing would come out A4 if they turned the eco mode on the printer off....
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Nice, my first thought when I saw it was that looks like a brain 
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When I was a kid there were various companies making toy bricks - Lego were the best but there were many other kinds of copy cat bricks.
As a child I had various sets of bricks from various companies - they often looked similar but had different sizes and quality of plastic but as a child I persevered - with a bit of effort I could get incompatible bricks to almost fit with each other or I would use one style of brick for one part of what I was making and others for other parts. The ones which almost fit would look wrong and feel wrong and would often come apart at inopportune moments but I was a kid so didn't really care. I could always kinda make what I set out to make and if some parts didn't fit and others didn't colour coordinate and others just looked wonky then that was good enough for me, as a child.
These days that's web development.
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RugbyLeague wrote: These days that's web development.
FTFY
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If memory serves some of the 'cheaper' bricks also did lock together quite right so the creation would fall apart...
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or look stable enough then the cheap bricks would just pop apart (usually at night)
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When I was a kid there was Meccanno(tm) - we used it to build really large flexible frameworks that we then didn't manage to find any purpose for.
These days that's back end development
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An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
**************************************************************************
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
" I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."
Finally, she looked up at Tim.
"How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda he fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee!"
**************************************************************************
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "
She says, he said, "Please Mary, put down that damn gun..."
**************************************************************************
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sit down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin', there's no paper on this side either!!!"
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Probably all of them are older than all of us together, but  and my 5...
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Mrs. O'Leary wants to take a milk bath, so she calls the Milk Man to come and fill her bath tub with milk.
He asks her "Would you like it pasteurized?"
but she says "No, just past my t(i)ts".
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I got received an email from an Employer regarding openings .they asked me to send Resume along with below Details
Current location:****
Current CTC:****
Expected CTC:***
NP:?
i don't know what is NP? what do i mention here?
Born To Learn
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