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If you're incompetent, you need to push everyone down below your level, in the eyes of the boss.
There are actually books that teach how to do this.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Now this is sucking up to the boss![^]
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I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka.
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No I wouldn't say that he had his head stuck all the way up his ass!
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.0
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
I'm currently unsupervised, I know it freaks me out too but the possibilities are endless.
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I thought Jobs had already eaten the organs of his minions?
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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Yes, this happened after he had offered up his arse.
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It's not that bad.
I mean, I'd have offered him a kidney.
My appendix?
What?
Damn, but the guy was just too picky!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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You cannot make this stuff up! 
Related news from the article :
In an earlier case, a bride married a guest at her wedding after the groom had an epileptic fit.
Wow! 
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More bizarre reasons for Indian weddings to get called off :
A wedding was called off in Bangalore after the families of the bride and the groom failed to agree on the kind of biryani that was to be served at the wedding - while the bride's family preferred chicken, the groom's wouldn't have anything but mutton biryani.
Here's another :
According to reports, a wedding ceremony in Aligarh was called off just because the groom was kissed by his brother's wife in public.
The groom and the bride had met each other on social media and fell in love. During the wedding, the groom's sister in law kissed him the moment he greeted the bride and then proceeded to drag him to the dance floor where she demanded he shake a leg.
However this behaviour was not acceptable by the bride's family and they called off the wedding.
And one more :
The Times of India reports that the 27-year-old groom's change of heart was discovered after he failed to return home the day before the wedding.
He had left home to deliver wedding cards but did not return, leaving both his and his bride-to-be's families distraught. They were later told that he had eloped with another girl.
Source : From this link[^]
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It used to be that I was glad I wasn't born in India as I don't speak a word of Hindi.
Now - you leave me perplexed.
On the one hand - how breeding pairs are produced, at least amongst the humans, is one of those times when one shrugs their shoulders, shakes one's head slowly from side to side, and relegates the situation to forgettable.
But, on the other hand - It may well be that I'd be able to spend much of my time laughing so hard my eyes roll up and I start drooling.
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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I don't speak Hindi either. Most people in southern India don't understand Hindi all that much (outside of what they learn from Bollywood movies). My native language is Malayalam 
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Nish Nishant wrote: I don't speak Hindi either
Apparently, you agree, as you left . . .
(I'm a bit sleep deprived so you may as well ignore me).
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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LOL - well yeah, not knowing Hindi was honestly not a factor
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Nish Nishant wrote: In an earlier case, a bride married a guest at her wedding after the groom had an epileptic fit.
Maybe she had just really bad eyesight and din't want to admit it.
The good thing about pessimism is, that you are always either right or pleasently surprised.
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Quote: The bride tested the groom on his math skills and when he got the sum wrong, she walked out. The question she asked: How much is 15 plus six? His reply: 17.
Looks like she made the right choice. 
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bath and not make messes in the house.
-- Robert Heinlein, Lazarus Long: "Time Enough for Love"
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My faith in humanity is now less bruised. Someone else who remembers the classics!
Software Zen: delete this;
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I predict that the consequences will be literally incalculable.
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Love it! Thanks for posting this.
I think all potential married couples, should go through a validation process before getting married,and then another one before conceiving their first child.
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To an extent, in many cultures, validation comes about during the courting rituals.
However, in the case where marriages are arranged by parents for whatever weird social standing events they envision - what other outcome would you expect.
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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OK, so now I'm confused.
What is 15 + 6, then?
And wasn't I...? I'm sure I had a wife around here, somewhere...
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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She found the bananas, shipped from Costa Rica, were infested with eggs from the Brazilian Wandering Spider
It had wandered a long way.
Was that one of the comments, I think they may be blocked at work cos I couldn't see any.
When writing / typing I never use the words wander or wonder as at the tender age of 40 I can still never remember which is which.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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chriselst wrote: When writing / typing I never use the words wander or wonder as at the tender age of 40 I can still never remember which is which.
Cool, it's not just me then. 
No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly. - Oscar Wilde
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chriselst wrote: When writing / typing I never use the words wander or wonder as at the tender age of 40 I can still never remember which is which.
To WANder is to go afield, communicating with people far and wide.
To WONder is to use a homonym of ONE, and stay by yourself and think things through.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Quote: I wonder where the stars go When the sky is blue
I wonder where the lies go When they start coming true
I wonder if we straighten All the the things we've knocked askew
How can we right our wrongs When there is no how or why or who
I wonder if can we lose our guilt When we've been accused
Where does all the downers hide When we are amused
I wonder where choices go When we've lost the right to choose
How can we solve these mysteries We have not any clues
I wonder as I wander
And the wandering gets stronger
It can't really be much longer
Till I wander my way through
With wandering comes doubt
And it seems like no way out
Unless I whisper, laugh or shout
All my wonders to the world
I've wondered where my childhood went Ever since I grew
I've wandered all the pages Filled with pictures that I drew
As I wondered something Inside me did brew
Words can not explain it There is nothing I can do
Mikelangelo and the Black Sea Gentlemen
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