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My wife asked what all the different icons meant on CP, and when we got to the "protector" icon, she asked why I wasn't a protector.
I told her, "Protectors keep CP out of harm's way. I *am* harm's way."
She smiled, nodded in agreement, and backed slowly out of the room.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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If she is your wife, she can (Probably, Maybe, possibly) handle you.
so she should have the protector badge probably. 
To err is human to really mess up you need a computer
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rnbergren wrote: she should have the protector badge probably.
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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She knows when she can talk me down, and when she shouldn't even try.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: and when she shouldn't even try just stand there and reload for me
FTFY  .
Software Zen: delete this;
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: and when she shouldn't even try.
My wife doesn't know how to back off. Neither do I. Our arguments tend to be... explosive. Luckily they are rare. She's a warrior at heart. That's why I married her.
GCS d-- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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Surely you've had her read...
Weird[^]
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I read it "ham's way"
Starting to think people post kid pics in their profiles because that was the last time they were cute - Jeremy Falcon.
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Don’t be a pig!
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
Do questions with multiple question marks annoy you???
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You don't know what you're missing!!! 
Really sorry bout dat - It's friday and my vacation is coming up, so you can take joy in knowing that I'll be out of here in a few hours... Don't need a coat - It's WAAAY too hot here in Sweden right now!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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Given the "spec" that I'm working from, I think I'm trying it right now!
98.4% of statistics are made up on the spot.
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Nah, that sounds more like a nice game of hide and seek! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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I'm beginning to suspect that it's more a case of "pass the parcel-bomb".
98.4% of statistics are made up on the spot.
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Once when drunk - but I regretted it later.
Peter Wasser
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell
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Johnny J. wrote: You don't know what you're missing!!!
Wouldn't you rather not know what you are missing?, because the opposite is worse.
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yes but … you hear it when you don't miss … auw … argh ... 
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No, but we play a lot of "Pin the tail on the donkey" iaaaaaaa 
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That's fun - as long as it's not your turn to be the donkey... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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Dont nock it til you’ve tried it.
I'm pretty sure I would not like to live in a world in which I would never be offended.
I am absolutely certain I don't want to live in a world in which you would never be offended.
Freedom doesn't mean the absence of things you don't like.
Dave
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That one will fletch an upvote.
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Thanks for the tip of the hat - it's better than being shafted - but really what's the point.
I'm pretty sure I would not like to live in a world in which I would never be offended.
I am absolutely certain I don't want to live in a world in which you would never be offended.
Freedom doesn't mean the absence of things you don't like.
Dave
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I feel like I just haft to get another archery pun in.
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I tried an archery class once - all the arrows had suckers on the end - at least that's what I call the people who didn't get out of the way
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This joke is right on target!
/ravi
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Give notice about rabbits home assembly (8)
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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