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Have you ever thought about writing a song text?
I gotta admit that I played with this thought for a long long time, and now I found the time to sit down and think a bit.
Monday Night Monday Night
-----------------------------------------------
I've been walking down the Road,
feeling the touch of Rain on my Skin.
Two boozehunts struggle by,
not aware of their sin.
The sun sets over the skeletal skyline
and once again I reckon where I've been.
[Refrain]
Making my way though the monday night,
Lighntings stroking over the city's siloutte
A very last time I can see the dark knight
Take a very last smoke of my cigarette
I will keep you in memory,
because I can't forget
Dark remembrance comes up,
is haunting me away from here.
Let's have a last coffe cup
before I leave the athmosphere.
A Ghost from the past joins our little club,
She let's hear an anodyne laughter.
[Refrain]
Now I enter the train with a sorrow feel
We leave and I hear the creaking steel.
Rushing through the night, I see into past
What happened two hours back is lost.
I miss you, and see you befor me,
but you are not there, I can't see.
Wanna change my face, my mind
I cannot leave you behind.
[Refrain]
What do you think?
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Have you considered putting it to music and making a recording public on YT or SC?
/ravi
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I can't play guitar or anything like that, neither am I a good singer.
Maybe I am going to hand it over to a friend of mine (He plays in a band).
I know that you play an instrument (Forgot which one), so feel free to make it to music if you want to.
I just ask you to give credits to me, somewhere in the description if you want to put up a youtube video.
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I wish I had the time to record my own songs, let alone those written by others. But thanks, anyway!
/ravi
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Leroy Gibbs wrote: What do you think?
I think you should stick to your day job.
Bit too contrived and forced (my opinion, for what it's worth; which, admittedly, in this case, might be nothing at all).
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
Those who seek perfection will only find imperfection
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
me, in pictures
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mark merrens wrote: Bit too contrived and forced
You could be right; Maybe the non-native speaker shines through.
Thank you for the honest feedback.
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You suck. Never do this again. Justin Bieber is better than you.
Sorry, I didn't even read it. Just couldn't resist.
"Bastards encourage idiots to use Oracle Forms, Web Forms, Access and a number of other dinky web publishing tolls.", Mycroft Holmes[ ^]
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d@nish wrote: Justin Bieber is better than you.
I knew that you are his sock puppet account .
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One of the best comebacks ever. I am rendered* speechless here.
* ASP.Net sucks.
"Bastards encourage idiots to use Oracle Forms, Web Forms, Access and a number of other dinky web publishing tolls.", Mycroft Holmes[ ^]
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Plot twist: it's Justin Beiber's sockpuppet.
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Score!
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Love somgs pretty much always suck, which is why Ray Davies is one of the best song writers ever:
Theres a crack up in the celing
and the kitchen sink is leaking
Got no work and out of money
Sunday joint of bread and honey
....
Sinmple, dark, and obscure. THats what I like.
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Erudite_Eric wrote: Love somgs pretty much always suck
It is not a love song. It is... Well I have no idea either.
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Quote: Sinmple Was this a Freudian slip perhaps?
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Leroy Gibbs wrote: Have you ever thought about writing a song text?
I wrote a grotesque, inside joke riddled, parody of an obnoxious song in a fit of boredom/when someone put a really bad idea in my head on another forum a decade or so ago. Does that count?
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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That is more comedy, but I think it still counts
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Leroy Gibbs wrote: That is more comedytrolling ,
FTFY
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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Leroy Gibbs wrote: A very last time I can see the dark knight Take a very last smoke of my cigarette Implies your dead.
Leroy Gibbs wrote: Let's have a last coffe cup With a dead man?
I'm not going for coffee with a zombie who can't hold on to his/her smokes.
Bastard Programmer from Hell
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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It exudes a stench of contemplation across the palette of fallen joy, soured by a hint of remembrance that further quenches the sullen bouquet of sorrows gone by.
Other than that, the wine tastes great!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For a "song text" to really be 'judged', it needs music to go with it. Song text never has "life" / "soul" until the music gets there. Think the Beatles reciting "We All Live in a Yellow Submarine," (WALiaYS) no music, each speaking a line as if they were reading. OK, not as bad an example I desire. Think 4 guys from your high school reciting/reading "WALiaYS". It'd SUCK!
I'd write some music to it & sing it, but I don't smoke and I don't care for songs that do.
Again, though ~ Other than that, the wine tastes great!
.
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