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A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it, and to return the next day to tell their stories.
In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example first, "My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One day we were taking lots of eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump in the road; the basket fell off the seat and all the eggs broke. The moral of the story is not to put all your eggs in one basket.."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next, Mary said, "We are farmers too. We had twenty eggs waiting to hatch, but when they did we only got ten chicks. The moral of this story is not to count your chickens before they're hatched.."
"Very good!" said the teacher again, very pleased with the response so far.
Next it was Barney's turn to tell his story: "My dad told me this story about my Aunt Karen.... Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the war and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete."
"Go on," said the teacher, intrigued.
"Aunt Karen drank the whisky on the way down to prepare herself; then she landed right in the middle of a hundred enemy soldiers.
She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your father say was the moral of that frightening story?"
"Stay away from Aunt Karen when she's drunk."
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You cleaned the punchline up from the version I remember!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Vivic wrote: Aunt Karen
you mean, me?
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
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Depends.
What are you like when you get drunk?
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Depends, too.
Half bad, half good.
Good thing is, I can't kill anyone.
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
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kArViD0tnEt wrote: I can't kill anyone
Too weak?
Not allowed near sharp objects?
Restraining order?
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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OriginalGriff wrote: Not allowed near sharp objects?
what are those? I haven't seen any sharp objects all my life!
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
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Ooo! Just wait until you are allowed in the Kitchen! You are going to have soooooo much fun!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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I'm soooooo excited! Can't wait.
Ooh wait, I'm already allowed in the kitchen. It's just that I don't go there 'coz I'm afraid of the thing called Cooking Oil!
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
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Cooking oil is good - there are so many things you can do with it. Including frying things!
Never eaten Philippine food - loads of Chinese / Indonesian / Malay / Thai / Indian - any good?
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Philippine food is good. Unlike from Malaysia (or is it from Thailand/Vietnam? I can't recall), our food is not that exotic.
We also have burgers and fries (courtesy of US influence).
We love to do some experiments when it comes to food and advertise new dishes. And I can assure you, aside from it's edible, it tastes great!
Unluckily for me, I wasn't given the gift of cooking.
Have you been in the Philippines?
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
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No - I kind of circled it! Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, and Japan but I missed the one in the middle!
Thai food is spicier than Malay, but Malay includes a lot of Chinese / South Indian influences.
Vegetable curry and rice pancakes for breakfast - wakes you up fast!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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OriginalGriff wrote: I missed the one in the middle!
and the best, I think!
US, Japan, and Europe's influence plus true Filipino food all-in-one. We also have the best tasting coffee that we'll keep you up til the next day (I'm not pulling your leg on that).
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
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kArViD0tnEt wrote: and the best, I think!
Could be - I've met a few Filipinos and they were all good people!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Good for you.
I haven't met Brits personally. Just Chinese.
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
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Are you absolutely sure? No gaps in your memory?
"If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough."
Alan Kay.
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Damn that's my ex to a T!
Along with Antimatter and Dark Matter they've discovered the existence of Doesn't Matter which appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever!
Rich Tennant 5th Wave
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I have a small coin collection, nothing too serious, and when there was a local coin fair in town, I took some of my one cent coins (no longer legal tender) with me to see if I could get them valued.
A very nice chap looked at them and essentially split them into two piles - one small pile of rare coins, the other of, frankly, not in the least bit rare coins.
Walking round the hall, I came across a stand selling coins made into jewellery - and what with the wife's birthday round the corner, thought I might try to buy one with her birth-date on.
After a bit of haggling, we settled on a price, upon which I realised I hadn't brought my wallet !
I was in a quandary for a moment, then had an idea - and managed to leave the exhibition with the gift for Mrs Maxxx.
Of course - I used my common cents.
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I was going to say, "A penny for your thoughts, Maxxx" (to coin a phrase) but then I realized you really need to change.
/ravi
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Stop it with your tails. I'm way ahead of you. Tosser*
* just in case you don't realise these are all puns, here's a big smiley[^] for reasurance
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Buck up! You didn't get her a Dime bar, did you?
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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I'm afraid I'm going to have to make a note of that.
/ravi
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It's a mark against me, but if I'm franc I don't care!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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OK, I get it! You don't have to pound it to me.
/ravi
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I had a yen too - but I'll settle for the cent of victory!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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