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Oh damn. It's Saturday, so there is no WSOCCC today.
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Nope: Mon-Fri only.
But...you could try this:
Never a puzzle (9)
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Or this
Defy this quiz with an oath (2,3,3)
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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Just found a limited offer (expires in an hour and it's Dutch so I won't post a link) for a Nokia 3310 Refurbished...
The website was going on about its 'cult status on the web' and how its 'worth increases every day'.
Oh yeah, Refurbished apparently means second-hand, but in good working state.
So people actually still want a 3310? Sure, it was the best in its day (and my first), but that was 15 years ago 
Maybe I'll go look for the GameBoy Refurbished or even better (S)NES Refurbished (alright, that would actually be really cool!) 
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Why not? It calls and it texts, that's what phones are for. It also has a decent battery life and doesn't shatter when you sneeze on it, unlike some phones.
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harold aptroot wrote: it texts
Yeah, press 1 three times for a c, little pause, 2 times for b... 
And no one is texting anymore, it's all WhatsApp these days.
I know of at least one friend who wouldn't text me back because she "refuses to pay extra money because I won't buy a decent phone." I can just hear her say it 
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I have an 8210 still. Its a good phone.
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My brother still has my old Nokia 6310.
Still has 10 days of battery per charge.
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If this text is blue, your internet connection is too fast
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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So. What does it mean when it's green?
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Parity errors.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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It's the weekend. Are you sure it's not party errors 
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It's the green colour: makes it a parroty error. 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I got ultra violet! 
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Pfft! I see it in gamma rays.
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Respect man! 
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While we're on the subject, if you've not yet seen the Akamai, State of the Internet report, see if you can guess the top five nations with the fastest average internet connection speeds (ranging from 13.7 to 7 Mbps). If you get even one right you can award yourself an extra beer tonight or a few extra pieces of bacon tomorrow! (Hint: it ain't USA!!!)
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I got the top one, and guessed that HK would be in there somewhere.
Ireland surprised me - as did that my connections speed is nearly twice the South Korean average!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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didn't see any text in your message, but my tv turned on when I opened it
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Ah. Dial up. 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I get red text ( metaphorically speaking )
We can’t stop here, this is bat country - Hunter S Thompson RIP
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Oh dear. Red shift is slow, isn't it?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room. 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met.'
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do,' she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.
'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'
'Yes, I remember,' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.
The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years?'
'I remember that, too,' she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, 'I would have gotten out today.'
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